The  MAN  from  MAINE 

By 
FRANK  CARLOS  GRIFFITH 


Miss  Gertrude  Doolittle. 


The  MAN  from 
MAINE 

A     Humorous     Episode    in 

The  LIFE  0/ASA  KING 


BT 

FRANK     CARLOS     GRIFFITH 


PICTURES  BT 

A.    B.    SHUTE 


C.   Af.   CLARK  PUBLISHING  CO.,  Inc. 

BOSTON,  MASS.,    U.S.A. 

1005 


Copyright,    1905,   by 
FRANK  CARLOS  GRIFFITH 


Copyright,    1905,  by 

C.  M.    CLARK   PUBLISHING   CO.,  Inc. 
BOSTON,  MASS.,    U.S.A. 


Entered  at 
STATIONER'S  HALL,  LONDON 

Foreign    Copyrights    Secured 


All  Rights  Reserved 


Inspiration,   Aid  and  Kindly    Critic 

of  My  Work 

MARY  CATHERINE    LEE  -  GRIFFIT 
I  dedicate  the  result 


fllustrations 


Frontispiece.  Gertrude  Doolittle. 

PAGE 

"Asa  held  the  envelope  off  at  arm's 

length."  ....  16 

"Take  that  Websterian  brain-tank  out 
into  the  kitchen  and  jam  it  full 
of  hash."  ....  50 

"  Here  ye  are,  Guv' nor.  Have  a  kiss 

with  me  this  time."  .  .  86 

"  Hite,  you  know  Maria  ?"     .  .  103 

"Say  Maria  who's  goin'  to  sleep  on 

the  top  shelf,  you  or  I  ?  "  .  150 

"  You  haven't  seen  me.  I'm  Jim, 

—Red  Jim."  ...  167 

"  Surmounting  his  bushy  black  hair 
was  a  fairly  well-kept  tall  silk 
hat."  ....  176 

"She  threw  herself  at  his  feet."         .  203 

"  This  is  General  Boorabo,  a  fine 

fellow  and  a  great  soldier."  .  226 


The 
Man   from   Maine 

CHAPTER   ONE 

QOT  many  years  ago — I  will  not 
say  how  many,  for  certain  people 
to  be  alluded  to  might  be  identified 
were  I  to  do  so,  but  yet  easily  within  my  life 
time — there    lived,    away    up    in    Oxford 
County,  Maine,  in  the  village  of  Dixfield,  a 
man  by  the  name  of  King,  Asa  J.  King, 
generally  well  known  by  the  short  and  simple 
name  of  Asa. 

Asa  was  born  there  on  the  banks  of  the 
Androscoggin  River,  and  Asa's  father  had 
been  known  as  "  Cap'n  "  Joel  King.  His 
captaincy  consisted  of  having  once,  and  for 
one  consecutive  trip,  piloted  the  only  steam 
boat  that  ever  floated  on  the  waters  of  that 
shallow  river,  from  Mexico  Corner,  near 
Rumford  Falls,  down  to  Canton  P'int,  a 


2       THE   MAN    FROM   MAINE 

distance  of  nearly  fifteen  miles;  the  boat 
never  having  been  able  to  return,  or  to  go 
farther  on,  the  excursion  tickets  issued  have 
never  been  taken  up,  and  are  at  this  remote 
date  valuable  only  as  souvenirs.  Probably 
the  rust-encrusted  remains  of  its  ironwork 
can  yet  be  seen  where  it  was  hauled  up  to  the 
bank. 

Asa  grew  up  in  the  pretty  little  hill-sur 
rounded  village,  went  to  school  up  near  the 
plains,  turned  somersaults  in  the  sandbanks 
behind  the  schoolhouse,  argued  points  with 
the  schoolmaster,  played  tricks  upon  him, 
getting  well  "  thrashed  "  when  discovered, 
and  did  the  usual  things  that  country  boys 
do. 

His  strong  point  was  "  speaking  pieces," 
and  in  this  Asa  revelled.  He  knew  "  Marco 
Bozzaris,"  and  Drake's  "  American  Flag," 
Scott's  "  Marmion,"  and  best  of  all,  nearly 
every  speech  of  note  that  Daniel  Webster 
ever  delivered.  Webster  was  his  idol,  and 
after  he  had  married  Maria  Stackpole,  and 
their  first  boy  was  announced,  the  name  of 


that  boy  was  as  instantly  announced  to  be 
Daniel  Webster  King. 

At  the  time  we  first  come  into  the  society 
of  this  product  of  the  soil  of  Maine,  Asa  was 
from  fifty-eight  to  sixty  years  of  age,  and 
the  flourishing  proprietor  of  a  blacksmithing 
business,  as  well  as  the  whole  crew  of  work 
men.  Asa  blew  the  bellows,  when  Dan 
wasn't  too  busy  in  swimming;  he  shod  the 
horses  and  oxen,  he  ironed  all  the  carriages 
and  sleighs,  carts  and  pungs  for  miles 
around,  for  Asa  had  a  reputation  for  square 
dealing  that  no  one  had  reason  to  dispute. 

In  personal  appearance,  he  was  suffi 
ciently  like  Daniel  Webster  for  it  to  be  a 
subject  of  general  remark,  although  of  a 
smaller  build,  and  these  physical  character 
istics,  may  in  his  early  life,  have  had  much  to 
do  with  his  fondness  for  the  immortal 
Daniel. 

Resembling  as  he  undoubtedly  did  the 
great  jurist,  Asa  affected  clothing  to  add 
to  the  resemblance,  and  the  dickey  and  stock, 
the  buff  waistcoat,  and  blue  swallow-tailed 


4       THE    MAN    FROM   MAINE 

coat  with  brass  buttons,  were  to  be  found  in 
his  wardrobe,  to  say  nothing  of  the  large- 
brimmed  and  formidable  "  stove-pipe  "  hat, 
so  well  known  as  characteristic  of  the  great 
Daniel. 

The  villagers  of  Asa's  age  and  older,  were 
fond  of  strolling  in  at  his  broad,  wide-open 
door  at  the  smithy,  seating  themselves  on 
convenient  nail-kegs,  the  bench  or  even  the 
anvil,  when  not  resounding  to  his  hammer 
strokes,  and  there  old  Squire  Doolittle, 
Doctor  Locke,  Tim  Brackett,  Uncle  Bill 
Cox  and  Deacon  Stanley,  had  discussed  and 
left  still  unsettled,  every  topic  that  had  come 
before  Congress  in  the  previous  fifty  years. 
The  Mexican  War  was  fiercely  waged  over 
Asa's  anvil  chorus,  the  Civil  War  was  many 
times  re-fought,  every  general  court-mar- 
tialled  or  decorated  with  laurel  wreaths, 
every  defeat  could  have  been  made  a 
victory,  and  every  victory,  it  was  shown, 
should  have  ended  the  struggle  there  and 
then. 

When  these  subjects  were  reaching  cli- 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE         5 

mactic  points,  and  Asa's  hammer  would 
make  the  sparks  fly  in  emphasis,  the  small 
boys  would  begin  to  congregate,  and  listen 
with  great  respect  to  the  arguments  of  these 
sage  men,  and  generally  Asa,  with  his  wide 
reading  and  excellent  memory,  would  let 
out  about  a  stickful  of  Scott,  Clay,  Cal- 
houn  or  Webster,  that  would  generally  be 
unanswerable,  chiefly  because  it  was  not 
understandable  by  his  listeners. 

The  place  to  learn  how  this  government 
should  be  run,  was  in  Asa  King's  blacksmith 
shop  and  Asa  was  the  principal  of  the 
school. 

"  Gosh  all  hemlock,  squire,"  said  Asa. 
'  What's  the  use  of  sending  men  to  Con 
gress  who  don't  know  enough  to  weld  a  tire? 
There's  that  Pete  Sandford,  in  the  Senate, 
he  don't  know  a  hub  from  a  hoe,  and  he's  a 
bringin'  in  a  bill  to  regulate  something  like 
the  hypothecation  of  syndicated  collateral." 

"  Sho;"  says  the  squire. 

'  Yes,  and  darn  me,  I  shouldn't  wonder 
if  he  accomplicated  it  too."  The  squire 


6       THE    MAN   FROM    MAINE 

mopped  his  brow  and  seriously  ventured 
the  inquiry: 

"  Wall,  spose  he  does,  what  in  thunder 
can  he  do  with  'em  when  he's  got  'em? " 

'  You  don't  understand,  squire.  Them's 
funds !  Collateral  is  what  you  put  up  when 
you  hain't  got  nothing.  Then  the  other 
fellers  git  together,  and  the  feller  that  had 
the  collateral  gits  all  the  other  fellers  had, 
and  the  new  fellers  are  what  they  call  a  syn 
dicate,  and  raise  the  price  on  iron  and  fish, 
and  hair  oil,  and  that's  where  the  swindle  is, 
don't  you  see? "  explained  Asa,  turning  to 
give  the  bellows  a  puff  or  two. 

:'  Wall,  Asa,  I  never  looked  at  it  quite  like 
that  afore.  That's  what  makes  wagons  cost 
more  than  they  did  when  I  was  a  boy." 

This  appeared  to  be  quite  illuminative  to 
the  squire,  who  began  making  semicircles  in 
the  hoof -parings  on  the  floor  with  his  cane. 

"  Exactly  so.  These  fellers  go  to  Wash 
ington  and  dicker  and  parley,  go  to  the 
theayter,  and  call  it  legislation.  We  don't 
need  no  more  laws,  we  got  too  many  a'ready. 


Old  Hickory  Jackson  was  about  the  only 
one  of  'em  that  knew  what's  what.  I'm  for 
Old  Hickory  every  time."  And  the  anvil 
rung  with  the  blow  of  the  hammer  that 
punctuated  that  oft-repeated  remark. 

"  I'd  jest  like  to  see  him  president  agin, 
Asa,"  ventured  the  squire. 

"  Gorryation,  so  would  I,  and  I'd  like  to 
be  his  prime  minister." 

"  Bet  you'd  make  a  better  one  than  we  got 
now,"  acquiesced  the  squire. 

"  Don't  know  about  that,  but  as  soon  as 
I  got  settled  into  the  harness,  guess  I  could 
teach  'em  a  thing  or  two,"  and  the  horseshoe 
he  had  been  fashioning  was  thrown  on  the 
heap  on  the  floor. 

The  squire  arose,  hummed  a  bit,  a  charac 
teristic  habit  of  his,  and  looked  up  the 
street. 

"  Say,  Asa,"  said  he,  "  who  is  that  young 
feller  coming  down  the  road?  " 

Asa  took  a  step  in  that  direction  and  im 
mediately  replied:  "That?  Oh  that's  Jim 
Bailey;  you  know  Cy  Bailey,  who  used  to 


8       THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

live  over  at  Farmington  and  moved  to  Bos 
ton  some  ten  years  ago?  That's  Cy's  son. 
He  comes  down  for  his  vacation.  Nice 
chap,  too.  He  was  saying  t'other  day,  that 
I  ought  to  be  in  Congress.  Guess  he  was 
foolin',  but  he's  well  posted,  if  he  is  jest  out 
of  college." 


CHAPTER    TWO 

Jim  Bailey  is  approach- 


minute  or  two  with  a  brief  des 
cription  of  the  old  squire  Doolittle. 

He  was  a  man  of  perhaps  seventy  years 
of  age,  of  medium  height,  round  and  fat, 
with  a  head  as  round  as  a  ball,  short,  thin 
white  hair,  but  not  bald,  and  a  face  like  the 
setting  sun  on  a  summer's  day,  when 
promise  of  a  hot  day  to-morrow  is  read  in 
its  ruddy  hue. 

Small  sharp  eyes  were  set  in  this  circle 
of  clean-shaven  outline,  the  complexion  of 
whose  features  indicated  the  absorption  of 
occasional  good  hot  toddies,  from  the  orig 
inal  package,  in  this  ostensibly  prohibitory 
State. 

He  was  never  seen  without  his  short, 
thick,  round  cane,  with  a  round  nob  of  ivory 
at  its  head,  and  when  not  in  conversation, 

9 


10     THE    MAN   FROM   MAINE 

was  generally  humming  like  a  bumblebee, 
bearing  not  the  slightest  resemblance  to  a 
tune.  He  owned  his  place,  had  a  small 
sufficiency  of  funds,  and  lived  in  the  care  of 
his  children,  his  wife  having  been  dead  many 
years. 

"  Hello,  Mr.  King,"  was  the  hearty  salu 
tation  of  Jim  Bailey  as  he  entered  the 
shop. 

"  Hello,  yerself ,  an'  see  how  ye  like  it,  how 
be  ye?  "  from  Asa,  at  the  same  time  extend 
ing  his  hand  in  a  manner  that  admitted  of 
no  mistake  as  to  the  heartiness  of  greeting. 

"First  rate,  don't  I  look  it?  " 

"  Jerusha  Ann,  I  should  say  you  did. 
What  ye  ben  doin'  on? " 

"  Studying  hard,"  said  Jim. 

"  Get  along,  studyin'  don't  make  them 
square  shoulders  and  broad  chest;  studyin' 
don't  make  muscle,  big  arms  and  solid  legs 
like  the  two  you're  standin'  on  top  of; 
studyin'  makes  a  man  thin,  an  holler-eyed, 
makes  him  thin-chested  and  stoop.  I  read 
a  good  deal  in  the  newspapers,  and  wrhen  I 


THE    MAN   FROM   MAINE       11 

want  a  diet  of  figgers  I  read  Hill's  Man 
ual,  but  I  don't  study  none  to  hurt.  I've 
ben  swingin'  this  old  hammer,  by  hokey,  for 
the  last  thirty-five  year,  and  that  keeps  me 
in  trim.  You  don't  git  no  hammer  swingin' 
so  how  do  you  git  a  figger  like  yourn?  " 

"  Athletics,"  was  Jim's  laconic  reply. 

"  Athwhatics  ? "  inquired  Asa  with  a 
twinkle.  "  Is  that  a  new  study?  " 

"  Yes,  it's  a  new  study.  It's  the  science 
of  health.  We  have  our  regular  studies 
the  same  as  usual,  but  outside  the  walls  of 
college,  we  take  up  athletics;  we  row, 
play  football,  run  races,  punch  the  bag, 
fence,  play  baseball  and  golf,"  said  Jim 
enthusiastically. 

Asa,  who  had  been  standing  by  his  anvil 
leaning  on  his  hammer,  now  threw  one  leg 
over  the  anvil  and  took  up  the  thread. 

"  I  used  to  row  an  old  leaky  flat  bottom 
boat  up  on  Webb's  river  when  I  was  a 
youngster,  an'  I  used  to  run  races  away  from 
school;  but  fencing  I  done  a  lot  of.  I 
spose  I've  built  forty  miles  of  fence,  but 


12     THE   MAN    FROM   MAINE 

about  the  only  ball  we  ever  played  was  three 
old  cat,  wa'n't  it  squire?  " 

'  Yes,"  acquiesced  the  squire ;  "  three  old 
cat,  and  one  out  all  out,  was  about  all  there 
was  to  ball  in  our  day." 

"  That  was  about  all  we  knew  to  do  with 
a  ball,  I  guess,"  added  Asa;  "  and  we  never 
punched  no  bags,  and  we  never  heerd  of  this 
new  goff,  did  we  squire?  " 

Again  the  squire  agreed  with  his  friend. 
"  No,  not  to  my  knowledge,  and  I'm  older 
than  you  be."  Then  to  Jim.  "  Was  he 
any  relation  to  old  John  B.  Gough,  the  tem 
perance  lecturer,  that  I  heerd  once  up  to 
Treemont  Temple  in  Bosting? " 

"  No,  no  relation,"  Jim  replied.  '  The 
golf  I  refer  to,  is  a  Scotch  game." 

;'  Well,  John  B.  was  game  too,  I  reckon," 
laughed  Asa,  in  which  both  Jim  and  the 
squire  joined,  the  latter's  soon  ending  in  a 
cough,  and  the  reddest  face  anything  but 
a  lobster  could  equal. 

While  Asa  is  offering  the  squire  a  glass 
of  water,  poured  from  an  old  stoneware 


THE    MAN    FROM   MAINE       13 

pitcher,  which  he  indignantly  spurned,  and 
Jim  Bailey  is  industriously  pounding  the 
squire's  back,  we  may  take  a  look  at  the 
young  man,  and  make  note  of  a  few  things. 

Jim  Bailey  was  an  all-around  good  fel 
low  and  the  pride  of  his  class,  as  well  as 
being  a  mystery  to  them.  With  a  reten 
tive  memory,  he  easily  kept  up  with  his 
studies;  with  a  strong  tendency  toward 
athletics  he  joined  with  a  will  in  nearly  all. 
He  was  pitcher  in  the  ball  team,  centre-rush 
in  the  football,  stroke  oar  in  the  college 
crew,  could  box  anyone  of  the  fellows  to  a 
quick  finish,  and  went  over  the  links  in  sev 
enty-two,  which  was  four  under  Bogie. 

He  was  in  for  any  proper  legitimate 
sport,  but  was  never  known  to  descend  to 
any  of  the  unmanly  acts  that  would  bring 
disgrace. 

His  father  had  become  wealthy  in  street 
railway  speculations,  since  moving  to  Bos 
ton,  and  Jim  was  in  line  to  enter  some  pro 
fession  to  occupy  his  active  mind.  All  these 
things  explain  the  broad  chest  and  shoulders, 


14     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

the  sturdy  form  and  manly  bearing  of  Jim 
Bailey  at  the  age  of  twenty-three. 

"Feeling  better  now,  sir?"  he  inquired, 
as  the  squire  ceased  to  splutter  and  choke. 

'  Yes,  guess  I'm  all  right  now,  thank  ye." 

At  this  moment  a  new  figure  appeared  in 
the  doorway,  a  large,  full-bearded  man  of 
middle  age,  who  carried  a  small  leather 
trunk  in  his  hand. 

"  Hullo,  doctor,"  exclaimed  Asa.  "  Just 
in  time  to  be  too  late,  as  the  Dutchman 
said." 

:'  Why,  is  the  man  dead?  "  he  asked  with 
a  chuckle. 

"  No,  he's  recovered." 

"  How  do  you  do,  doctor,"  inquired  Jim. 

"  How  are  you,  Mr.  Bailey?"  from  the 
doctor.  ;'  What's  been  happening  to  the 
squire?  " 

:'  Why  ye  see,  doctor,"  explained  Asa, 
"Jim  Bailey  here  was  telling  us  of  a  new 
game  called  goff ,  and  the  squire  wanted  to 
know  ef  he  was  related  to  John  B.  and  I 
said  John  B.  was  game  too." 


THE    MAN    FROM   MAINE       15 

Dr.  Locke  had  prepared  for  a  laugh  from 
the  beginning  of  Asa's  explanation  and  his 
mouth  had  rapidly  opened  wider  and  wider, 
his  hand  nervously  gesticulating,  apropos  of 
nothing,  until  the  climax,  when  he  also  burst 
into  a  convulsive  laugh,  aided  and  abetted 
by  the  others. 

"  Well,  you  know  they  say,"  began  the 
doctor  when  he  could  subside  sufficiently, 
"  doctors  are  generally  late,  and  old  Doctor 
Hartlett  used  to  say,  if  you  have  a  hurry 
call  on  a  baby  in  convulsions,  walk  your 
horse  until  you  come  in  sight  of  the  house, 
then  lay  the  whip  on  and  come  up  on  the 
run,  for  the  chances  are  that  the  baby  will 
be  out  of  the  convulsions  before  you  get 
there  anyhow,"  which  caused  another  laugh 
from  the  four. 

"  How's  your  father,  Mr.  Bailey? "  then 
inquired  the  doctor. 

"  Oh,    he's    in    excellent    health,    thank 

you." 

"  No  chance  for  a  patient  there,  doctor," 
chimed  in  the  blacksmith. 


16     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

"  I  hope  not,"  said  Jim  putting  both  hands 
into  his  side  pockets,  which  action  evidently 
brought  to  mind  something  hitherto  for 
gotten  or  neglected.  "  By  the  way,  Mr. 
King,"  said  he,  drawing  forth  a  formidable 
looking  envelope,  "  here's  something  Chase 
handed  me  at  the  post-office  when  I  hap 
pened  to  say  that  I  was  coming  down  to 
your  shop.  He  said  it  might  be  impor 
tant  from  the  appearance  of  the  out 
side." 

Jim  had  passed  it  over  to  Asa  while  speak 
ing,  who  in  turn  laid  it  on  the  anvil  while  he 
proceeded  to  remove  his  glasses  from  a  peg 
over  the  bellows. 

The  squire  had  now  risen  and  moved 
toward  the  anvil,  while  Dr.  Locke  also 
showed  nervous  evidence  of  interest  in 
results. 

Asa  held  the  envelope  off  at  nearly  arm's 
length  and  gazed  silently  upon  it. 

'  Washington,  D.  C.,"  he  read  aloud 
finally. 

"D.  C.  Washington,  Asa?     He  may  be 


"  Asa  held  the  envelope  off  at  arm's  length." 


THE    MAN    FROM   MAINE       17 

related  to  George,"  ventured  the  squire, 
now  nearly  looking  over  the  blacksmith's 
shoulder. 

"  Department  of  State.  Who  in  thun 
der  is  writing  to  me  from  the  Department 
of  State? "  he  pondered. 

"  Perhaps  they  want  you  to  come  on  and 
be  Secretary,  Asa,  I  shouldn't  wonder," 
ventured  the  doctor. 

"  Likely's  not,"  assented  the  squire. 

Asa  had  been  looking  the  envelope  over, 
front  and  back,  top  and  bottom,  with,  as 
yet,  no  attempt  to  open  it. 

"  Forgot  to  put  a  stamp  on  it,  by  gosh;  " 
he  suddenly  ejaculated. 

"  Wonder  Chase  didn't  hold  it  for  post 
age  then,"  the  squire  was  led  to  remark. 

"  Perhaps  it's  franked,"  Jim  ventured  to 
suggest. 

"  Geewhillikens,"  said  Asa,  throwing  the 
letter  down  upon  the  anvil,  "It  beats  me! 
I  can't  think  who's  a-writin'  to  me  from 
Washington." 

"  'Tis  cur'us  "  the  squire  agreed. 


18     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

"  Who  do  you  suspect?  "  was  Dr.  Locke's 
inquiry. 

"  I'm  jiggered  if  I  know,  but  s'pose  it's 
some  lightning  rod  agent,  or  some  feller  in 
the  gold  brick  business;  mebbe  some  kind 
of  endearment  insurance,  or  p'raps  some 
sewing  machines  on  the  installation  plan." 

"  Suppose  you  open  it  and  find  out,  Mr. 
King,"  was  the  practical  suggestion  of  Jim. 

;'  Wall,  I  guess  that  would  be  the  eftest 
way.  Hope  it  ain't  no  infernal  machine," 
said  Asa,  once  more  very  gingerly  removing 
it  from  the  anvil,  and  proceeding  to  open  it 
with  a  horse  nail. 

The  squire  and  Dr.  Locke  could  scarcely 
conceal  their  curiosity,  and  in  fact,  it  may  be 
doubted  if  they  made  any  attempt  in  that 
direction,  while  Jim  Bailey  lighted  a  cigar 
and  proceeded  to  enjoy  it. 

Could  anyone  have  studied  the  pleased  ex 
pression  of  countenance,  and  the  merry 
twinkle  of  his  eye,  they  might  have  been  led 
to  the  conclusion  that  he  had  some  previous 
knowledge  of  what  was  about  to  eventuate. 


Asa  drew  a  formidable  legal-looking  docu 
ment  from  the  envelope,  decorated  with  the 
great  seal  of  the  State  Department,  and 
looked  at  the  top  and  the  bottom,  and  from 
the  bottom  back  again  to  the  top. 

"  Cracky  Jane,"  he  at  length  exclaimed, 
"  I  can't  make  head  nor  tail  to  it.  It's  got 
my  name  in  it  all  right,  and  it's  signed  by 
the  Secertary  of  State,  and  's  near  's  I  can 
get  the  drift  of  the  thing,  it  'pints  me 
United  States  Consul  to  Bully-something- 
or-other,  in  Zululand,  South  Africa. 

"  Say  Jim,  you  know  'bout  them  things 
better'n  I  do,  jest  take  a  look  at  that,  and  see 
if  it's  a  ten-per-cent-a-week  dodge,  or  a 
ground-floor-double-sub-basement  copper 
mine  scheme." 

Jim  calmly  took  the  document  and 
glanced  at  the  contents,  devoured  by  the 
eager  glances  of  the  three  interested  spec 
tators.  When  he  had  done  so,  he  lowered 
the  paper,  removing  the  cigar  from  his 
mouth. 

"  Mr.  King,"  he  began  seriously,  "  I  con- 


20     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

gratulate  you.  The  paper  is  genuine,  and 
is  an  appointment  in  proper  legal  form,  with 
the  signature  and  seal  of  the  Secretary  of 
State,  appointing  you  as  the  United  States 
Government  representative,  or  in  other 
words,  the  Consul  to  Boolahackentula  in 
Zululand,  South  Africa,  with  a  salary  of 
three  thousand  dollars,  allowance  for  a 
private  secretary  and  travelling  expen 
ses." 

"  Well  I'm  jiggered,"  was  Asa's  almost 
breathless  exclamation,  as  his  hammer  fell 
from  his  grasp  on  to  the  foot  of  a  yellow 
dog  that  was  nosing  about  among  the  hoof 
parings,  and  whose  ki-yis  rent  the  air  as  he 
fled  into  the  open,  skurrying  up  the  street 
with  his  tail  tight  between  his  legs. 

'Taint  no   joke,   is   it? "   inquired   the 
doctor. 

"  No;  the  document  is  all  proper,  and  the 
envelope  is  franked  by  the  Secretary  of 
State  at  Washington.  No;  it's  all  straight 
and  regular,"  Jim  assured  the  trio. 

"  But   I   don't   know   the    Secertary   of 


State,"  ventured  the  awe-stricken  black 
smith. 

"Evidently  you  don't  have  to;  but  it  is 
quite  evident  that  he  knows  you,  and  so  does 
the  President,  for  the  President  has  to 
make  or  suggest  these  appointments,"  Jim 
explained. 

"  Sho.  You  don't  mean  it.  Then  the 
President  and  the  Secertary  have  heerd  of 
me,  you  say?  Ain't  no  mistake  in  the 
name,  is  there?  Asa  J.  King?  There's 
more  Kings,  ye  know.  Sure  they  got 
me  J.?" 

"  No  mistake,  you're  J.  King.  You're 
an  Asa,  a  J  and  you're  a  King  all  straight," 
wras  Jim's  most  reassuring  reply,  returning 
the  document  to  its  owner. 

Asa  took  it  up,  folded  it  carefully,  re 
storing  it  to  the  envelope,  and  laid  it  again 
on  the  anvil.  He  was  straighter  and  more 
dignified  than  he  had  been  a  short  time 
before,  as  he  proceeded  to  remove  his 
leather  apron,  turn  dowrn  his  shirt  sleeves, 
cover  the  smouldering  coals  in  his  forge, 


22     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

remove  his  spectacles,  fold  them  and  restore 
them  to  their  case. 

His  next  proceeding  was  to  resume  his 
linen  coat  and  straw  hat.  When  this  had 
been  accomplished  he  possessed  himself 
once  more  of  the  precious  document,  and 
turned  to  the  three  interested  spectators. 

"  Gentlemen,"  said  he,  "  shop's  closed  for 
the  day.  Come  on  Jim.  I'm  going  home 
to  see  what  Maria  thinks  of  the  dumned  old 
talking  machine  now." 


CHAPTER    THREE 

SA'S  home  was  well  up  the  street 
from  his  shop,  to  go  to  and  from 
which  he  must  pass  through  the 
village  to  the  opposite  side,  where  the  typi 
cal  village  white  house  with  green  blinds, 
was  located. 

It  was  commodious,  and  attractive  in  ap 
pearance,  scrupulously  neat  and  tidy  about 
the  ample  grounds,  the  whole  speaking 
plainly  of  careful  supervision  and  a  pros 
perous  owner.  This  was  true,  too,  for  Asa 
King  by  his  industry  had  accumulated  what 
would  be  considered  an  ample  competency 
in  his  small  community. 

The  squire  and  Dr.  Locke,  being  thus 
unceremoniously  evicted,  started  off  up  the 
village,  as  Asa  closed  the  shop  door  without 
a  thought  even  of  locking  it. 

Jim  Bailey  easily  kept  pace  with  the  old 
blacksmith,  smoking  his  cigar,  but  saying 

23 


24     THE   MAN    FROM   MAINE 

nothing,  until  Asa  himself  ventured  a 
remark. 

"  I  s'pose  men  of  idees,  and  who  ain't 
afraid  of  expressin'  'em,  get  known  some 
how  or  other  to  them  Washington  chaps 
sooner  or  later,  don't  you?  " 

"  Certainly;  they  can't  hide  their  light 
under  a  bushel  always.  Do  you  know  your 
Congressman  from  this  district? "  Jim 
inquired. 

;<  I  know  of  him,  and  I  heerd  him  speak 
once  up  to  Mexico  Corner  at  a  mass  meetin'. 
He's  Sam  Hopkins  that  used  to  have  a  peg 
factory  down  at  Livermore  Falls." 

"  Perhaps  he  recommended  you,  Mr. 
King,"  suggested  his  companion. 

"  No,  can't  be  him,  he  don't  know  me 
from  a  side  of  sole  leather,  besides  he's  a 
Republican,  and  I'm  a  hard-shelled  old-line 
Jacksonian  Democrat,"  Asa  asserted  in  em 
phatic  manner. 

"  Well,  Mr.  King,  somebody  had  heard  of 
you  and  knew  your  worth  and  quali 
fications." 


THE   MAN    FROM   MAINE       25 

'  There  ain't  no  denyin'  that,"  was  Asa's 
reply,  and  Jim  could  not  fail  to  observe  that 
the  old  gentleman  straightened  up  more 
than  usual,  walking  with  an  added  air  of 
dignity.  Presently  he  gave  Jim  a  pleased 
look  as  he  inquired, — "  What  do  you  sup 
pose  Maria  '11  say?" 

"  I  don't  know,  Mr.  King,  but  she  will  be 
greatly  pleased  no  doubt,  and  feel  highly 
honoured  at  this  mark  of  the  President's 
special  favour,  don't  you  think  so? " 

Asa  looked  somewhat  puzzled  at  first,  evi 
dently  a  little  uncertain  of  results,  and  ex 
pressed  himself  accordingly. 

"  At  fust,  Jim,  she  won't  believe  it,  then 
she  won't  have  it,  then  I  don't  know  enough 
for  it,  then  it  ain't  no  good  nohow,  then  I 
couldn't  leave  my  shop  either,  but  the  final 
thing  that  will  settle  the  whole  hash,  will  be 
the  three  thousand  per.  Maria  '11  give  in 
to  that." 

"  You  think  that  will  fetch  her,  eh? " 

"  Oh,  for  a  dead  certainty.  I  know  her 
p'ints.  She's  skittish  and  shies  at  all  the 


26     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

little  common  things,  but  you  can  fire  a 
barrel  of  paper  money  about  her  heels  and 
she  won't  lift  a  hoof.  Gosh,  I  ain't  lived 
with  her  thirty  year  for  nothin'."  A  reflec 
tion  that  caused  a  chuckle  of  pleasure  from 
the  narrator. 

They  were  now  about  to  enter  the  grounds 
that  extended  broadly  in  front  of  the  black 
smith's  house,  when  Jim  hesitated  and 
inquired : 

"  Shall  I  come  in,  Mr.  King?  " 
"  Of  course,  and  I  tell  you  right  now,  I 
want  you  for  my  Private  Secertary  of  State, 
guv'ment  pays  for  it,  ye  know." 
"  All  right  sir,  I'll  think  about  it." 
In  another  moment  they  had  entered  the 
house,  using  as  is  the  almost  universal  cus 
tom,  the  rear,  or  kitchen  entrance.     This 
brought  them  almost  at  once,  into  the  pres 
ence  of  a  thin,  tall  woman,  the  queen  of  the 
household,  Maria  King. 

'  Wipe  your  feet,"  was  the  first  saluta 
tion,  as  Asa's  form  appeared  in  the  door 
way,  and  both  Asa  and  Jim  at  once  obeyed 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE       27 

the  command,  on  the  circular  rag  rug  in  the 
little  hallway. 

"  Why  sakes  alive,  if  there  ain't  Jim 
Bailey,"  she  exclaimed  heartily,  as  she  now 
perceived  Asa's  companion,  and  hastily 
wiped  her  hands  on  her  apron.  "  Glad  to 
see  ye,  Jim.  How's  all  the  folks?  You'll 
have  to  excuse  my  apron.  What  brought 
you  home  so  early,  Asa,  'taint  nowheres  near 
supper  time?  How  d'ye  say  your  folks  are? 
Asa,  take  Jim  into  the  settin'-room.  I'll  be 
in  in  a  minute,  soon  's  I  git  this  doughnut 
fat  off  the  stove.  Like  new  doughnuts  's 
well  's  ever,  Jim?  Now,  Asa,  don't  leave 
your  hat  on  that  chair  for  somebody  to 
set  on.  My  stars,  didn't  Cy  Bailey  use' 
to  like  new  doughnuts  though,  when  they 
use'  to  have  sleigh-ride  parties  over  to  our 
house.  I  s'pose  he's  got  pretty  rich  now, 
hain't  he?  Well,  I'm  glad,  for  if  ever  a 
man  deserved  it,  he  did.  All  Asa  needs 
is  opportunity,  though.  He'd  make  his 
mark  if  he  only  had  a  chance.  There's 
men  in  Congress  don't  know  half  as  much 


28     THE   MAN   FROM    MAINE' 

as  Asa  does  about  things.  I  wish  to  good 
ness  they'd  'pint  him  minister  to  Rooshie 
or  Prooshie,  or  else  some  kind  of  highcock- 
alorum  to  Cochin  China,  and  give  him  a 
chance.  My!  ain't  it  hot  here?  " 

Asa  looked  at  Jim,  and  Jim  at  Asa,  each 
with  an  amused  twinkle  in  the  eye. 

"  Hold  yer  hosses  a  minute,  Maria;  train 
don't  go  for  's  mucli  as  an  hour,"  said 
Asa,  as  he  got  a  chance  to  speak.  "  S'pose 
I  was  to  have  my  chance  at  my  time  of 
life." 

'  Your  time  of  life, — now  Jim  Bailey, 
does  he  look  as. if  he'd  arrived  at  his  time  of 
life  yit?  I  wish  the  chance  to  do  something 
besides  hammering  boss  shoes  would  come; 
you  won't  git  to  your  time  of  life  for  ten 
years  yit."  And  as  she  delivered  herself  of 
this  complimentary  speech  she  lifted  the 
kettle  of  fat  from  the  stove  and  set  it  over 
on  the  cook  table  to  cool. 

'*  Well,  Maria,  my  chance  has  come,"  said 
Asa  with  a  satisfied  air. 

"Has  come!    Asa  King,  you  hain't  ben 


29 

buying  no  lottery  ticket  unbeknownst  to  me, 
hev  ye? " 

"  No,  it  ain't  no  lottery  ticket.  Do  you 
see  that? "  he  remarked,  as  he  threw  the 
official  envelope  with  its  contents  upon  the 
table. 

'  Well,  there  ain't  nothing  the  matter  with 
my  eyesight,  Asa,  if  my  brains  are  wobbly." 

"Who  do  you  suppose  ordered  that  sent 
to  me  from  Washington?  " 

"  Some  pension  shark,  I  guess." 

"  No,  higher." 

"  Some  representative  wants  a  vote." 

"  Once  more,  higher." 

"  Mebbe  a  senator  then." 

"Higher."    . 

'  Well,  I  guess  then  the  vice-president 
must  have  heard  of  your  boss  shoes." 

"  Higher,"  was  Asa's  almost  breathless 
reiteration. 

*  There  ain't  no  higher,  but  the  Presi 
dent,"  said  Maria,  now  quite  excited. 

"That's  him,"  said  Asa.  "Ain't  it, 
Jim?" 


Jim  for  the  first  time  had  an  opportunity 
to  speak. 

"  That's  right,"  was  his  laconic  reply. 

"The  President;  why,  what, — what's, 
what's  he  done,  Asa?  "  was  Mrs.  King's  dis 
jointed  inquiry. 

"  He's,  he's  'pinted  me, — 'pinted  me, 
United  States  Consul,  by  hokey,  ain't  he 
Jim?" 

Again  Jim  assured  Mrs.  King  that  what 
Asa  had  said  was  true  to  the  letter.  Mrs. 
King  was  not  a  weak  or  "  f  ainty  "  woman, 
hut  on  this  occasion  she  gradually  melted  into 
a  convenient  chair. 

"  Land  o'  mercy,  Asa  King.  Where  to ; 
not  to  London  or  China?" 

"  No,"  said  Asa.     "  Where  is  it,  Jim?  " 

"  Boolahackentula,  in  South  Africa," 
said  he  promptly. 

"  Where  on  airth  is  that?  "  Maria  wanted 
to  know. 

"  In  Zululand,  on  the  east  coast  of  South 
Africa." 

"What   do   they   pay   for   the   job?     I 


THE   MAN   FROM    MAINE       31 

sh'd  think  you'd  git  as  much  as  seventy-five 
dollars  a  month,"  was  Maria's  idea  of  good 
compensation. 

Asa  swelled  to  considerably  larger  pro 
portion  than  normal,  as  he  made  answer. 
"  Seventy  five  dollars  a  month.  Maria; 
Three  thousand  dollars  a  year,  and  perqs. 
How's  that  for  an  old  down-east  Reuben, 
eh?  "  and  Asa  struck  an  attitude  that  would 
have  done  credit  to  an  end  man  in  a  minstrel 
show. 

"  Why,  Asa  King,  be  you  talking  in  your 
sleep,  or  am  I?  Are  you  there,  Jim  Bailey, 
or  am  I  dreamin'  you?" 

"  I'm  here  sure  enough,  Mrs.  King;  we're 
all  awake,  and  there's  the  document  that 
proves  the  statement,"  which  remark  of 
Jim's  appeared  to  settle  things  for  once  and 
all. 

Asa  wiped  his  now  perspiring  brow,  as 
Maria  found  strength  to  rise  and  approach 
the  two  men,  to  throw  her  arms  first  about 
her  now  distinguished  spouse,  and  then 
about  Jim  Bailey,  who  returned  the  embrace 


32     THE   MAN    FROM   MAINE 

with  a  hearty  laugh.  Her  next  action  was 
to  put  her  head  out  of  the  open  window  and 
call,  "  Dan,  Daniel,  come  here,  I  want  ye," 
then  to  go  to  the  chamber  stairs,  open  the 
door  and  call,  "  Mary,  May  King,  come 
down  quick,"  and  finally  to  stand  back  and 
gaze  at  Asa. 

"  I  snummy,"  said  she.  ;'  Three  thou 
sand  dollars,  and — hurry  up,  May, — and  a, 
— what  did  you  say  you  are,  a  council?  Come 
here,  Dan." 

Dan  King  had  just  entered  the  room  as 
also  had  May  from  upstairs. 

"  Look  at  your  father,  what  do  you  think 
he  is?" 

'Asa  was  beaming  with  pride  and  hitherto 
unknown  satisfaction. 

"  Nutty,  I  guess,"  was  their  son's  jocose 
reply. 

"  He's  got  a  United  States  Consul's 
app'intment." 

"  Does  it  fit?  "  inquired  Dan. 

"  Quit  your  foolin'  now,  Dan.  May, 
here's  Jim  Bailey. 


THE    MAN    FROM   MAINE       33 

May  had  been  waiting  for  a  chance  to 
shake  hands  with  her  old  friend,  which  op 
portunity  they  now  improved  to  the  utmost. 

There  were  exchanges  of  "  how  do  you  do, 
May,"  and  "  when  did  you  get  back,  Jim," 
and  such  like  expressions,  from  the  two  who 
had  been  friends  from  childhood. 

Matters  soon  began  to  settle  down  to  a 
rational  discussion  of  things  and  an  ad 
journment  to  the  "  settin'-room  "  was  carried 
into  effect,  where  the  mysterious  and  pre 
cious  document  was  unfolded  and  seriously 
discussed  by  the  five  happy  people. 


CHAPTER   FOUR 

HE  preceding  events  took  place 
early  in  August,  and  between 
that  time  and  the  end  of  the 
month,  matters  had  settled  themselves  down, 
through  correspondence  with  Washington, 
into  a  certainty,  and  preparations  had  been 
made  for  departure  early  in  September. 

Asa  had  been  reading  up  in  anticipation 
of  events  to  come,  and  had  suddenly  loomed 
above  all  his  fellow-townsmen  of  Dixfield, 
and  the  vicinity,  as  a  man  struck  by  the  ad 
ministration's  wealth-producing  lightning, 
and  henceforth  a  distinguished  figure  in 
local  affairs.  He  was  pointed  out  as  he 
walked  through  the  village  streets,  and  boys 
looked  upon  Asa  as  something  made  of 
superior  clay. 

Dan,  already  nearly  six  feet  tall,  loomed 
like  a  giant  flagstaff  among  the  other  boys 
of  his  age,  while  May,  of  diminutive  stature, 

84 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE       35 

appeared  as  suddenly  to  have  acquired  sev 
eral  inches,  in  the  estimation  of  her  young 
lady  acquaintances. 

Jim  Bailey  had  been  on  to  Boston  to  make 
arrangements  for  a  prolonged  vacation,  but 
had  recently  returned  for  consultation  with 
Asa. 

It  was  the  last  day  of  August,  and  supper 
had  been  cleared  away  by  Mrs.  King  and 
May,  for  they  kept  no  help,  and  the  sun  was 
just  sinking  behind  the  hills. 

The  scene  that  presents  itself  to  us  at  this 
moment  is  one  of  perfect  peace  and  quiet. 
We  are  in  Maria  King's  "  settin'-room," 
the  windows  of  the  large  bay  are  wide  open, 
as  also  is  the  door  leading  to  the  outside. 

There  is  heard  the  light  jangle  of  cow 
bells,  suggesting  the  browsing  of  cattle  upon 
the  lawn;  the  asthmatic  wheezing  and 
gurgle  of  a  pump  is  also  heard,  the  key 
gradually  rising  as  the  water  neared  the  top ; 
together  with  the  evening  song  of  birds  bid 
ding  the  sun  good-night. 

This  apartment  was  not  furnished  with 


36     THE   MAN    FROM    MAINE 

any  attempt  at  elegance,  it  not  being  the 
"  best  room  "  and  was  intended  for  daily 
use,  while  the  parlor,  or  "  best  room  "  was 
not  intended,  according  to  Maria's  idea,  for 
anything  other  than  weddings  and  fune 
rals,  being  kept  almost  hermetically  sealed 
at  other  times.  Should  a  misguided  fly 
chance  to  wander  in,  when  one  of  the  period 
ical  tours  of  inspection  was  made,  to  see  if 
the  wax  flower  wreath  had  been  burglarized, 
or  the  parian  marble  card  receiver  melted; 
the  said  venturesome  fly  would  have  been 
found  on  the  next  tour  frozen  solidly  into 
the  very  midst  of  the  frigid  atmosphere 
and  have  to  be  chopped  out. 

The  sitting-room,  however,  was  sunny, 
comfortable,  and  attractive.  The  fur 
niture  was  of  the  haircloth  variety,  at  least 
the  sofa  and  black  walnut  chairs  were ;  there 
was  a  black  walnut  whatnot  in  a  corner, 
with  some  coloured  glass  vases  with  artificial 
flowers,  a  box  covered  with  shells,  some 
specimens  of  minerals ;  a  card  receiver  made 
of  worsted-worked  perforated  cardboard, 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE       37 

the  eight  sloping  sides  being  attached  to  each 
other  by  bits  of  narrow  ribbon. 

There  were  various  other  objects  upon  its 
shelves,  while  a  bookcase  at  one  side  was  well 
filled  with  books  and  magazines,  in  addition 
to  which  a  table  was  also  the  support  for 
more  books,  including  a  large  family  Bible, 
an  album  and  a  plain  kerosene  lamp,  with  a 
coloured  paper  shade. 

On  the  walls  were  a  few  pictures,  con 
spicuous  among  which,  was  one  of  Asa's 
hero  of  heroes,  Daniel  Webster,  the  others 
being  "  Washington,  at  Mount  Vernon,"  a 
weeping  willow  with  a  tombstone  beneath; 
a  portrait,  evidently  the  product  of  some 
travelling  tramp  artist,  and  so  far  as  resem 
blance  was  concerned,  heaven  alone  could  tell 
for  whom  it  was  intended,  and  if  purchased 
on  merit,  should  have  been  about  five  for  a 
quarter,  but  for  \vhich,  as  a  matter  of  fact, 
Asa  was  proud  to  state,  he  had  paid  ten 
dollars. 

There  was  a  motto  in  coloured  worsted, 
worked  into  perforated  cardboard,  whose 


38     THE    MAN   FROM   MAINE1 

legend  was  the  admonition  to  "  Love  One 
Another." 

Yet  one  more  was  a  portrait  which  we  are 
bound  to  believe  was  intended  to  represent 
Napoleon  Bonaparte,  his  name  being  boldly 
painted  underneath. 

It  is  just  possible  that  the  squire  had  sat 
for  the  model  soon  after  having  imbibed  one 
of  those  samples  from  the  original  package, 
for  the  face  was  very  much  like  one  of  the 
red  toy  balloons  children  affect  so  much  on 
Boston  Common  the  Fourth  of  July. 

His  historic  lock  of  hair  might  have  been 
made  of  wrought  iron,  and  his  chapeau  of 
copper-riveted  boiler  plate,  the  otherwise 
crosswise  hat  being  slightly  tipped  to  the 
northeast,  giving  the  hero  of  Lodi,  Rivoli, 
Austerlitz,  Marengo,  and  other  places  too 
numerous  to  mention,  a  leer  that  historians 
have  failed  to  mention. 

In  modest  letters  in  the  lower  left-hand 
corner  were  these  words :  "  Painted  by 
Mary  King  at  the  age  of  eight  years."  The 
inscription  is  positively  illuminating,  and  all 


THE   MAN   FROM   MAINE       881 

shortcomings  are  at  once  understood  and 
forgiven. 

A  dog,  probably  a  yellow  one,  begins  to 
bark  outside  the  house,  very  likely  at  the 
cows,  for  yellow  dogs  and  cows  have  never 
signed  a  treaty  of  peace  that  the  dog  feels 
bound  to  respect,  the  cow  being  constantly 
in  danger  of  the  yellow  peril.  The  dog 
barks  again,  and  yet  again,  a  proceeding 
that  rouses  dormant  objections  ready  to  be 
fired  through  the  medium  of  Mrs.  King's 
lungs,  for  on  the  fifth  bark,  her  voice  is 
heard  from  the  direction  of  the  kitchen 
calling, — 

"  "Daniel,  Daniel.  Dan,  you  rascal." 
To  which  Dan's  high  soprano  makes  im 
patient  reply, — 

;<  What  in  thunder  do  you  want?  " 

Mrs.  King  is  again  heard:  "Keep  that 
dog  away  from  them  caouws." 

The  namesake  of  the  great  Daniel  now 
makes  his  appearance  in  the  sitting-room, 
delivering  himself  of  a  few  remarks  in 
classic  English. 


"  Will  I?  Well,  I  guess  it  '11  take  nothin' 
short  of  prussic  acid  to  keep  that  dog  still. 
That  dog  ain't  built  that  way." 

As  I  before  remarked,  Dan  was  a  very 
tall  boy,  also  very  slim,  taking  after  his 
mother;  while  his  sister  May  was  more  like 
her  father. 

Dan  was  plain;  May  round  and  hand 
some.  The  garments  that  encased  the 
classic  form  of  Dan  at  this  time  were  clearly 
not  made  to  order — for  him.  The  sleeves 
of  the  coat  were  scarcely  more  than  midway 
from  his  elbows  to  his  wrists;  the  vest  and 
pants — yes,  these  were  certainly  just  pants 
—had  either  never  been  introduced,  or  else 
the  vest  had  been  divorced  on  a  separate 
maintenance  plan,  while  the  said  pants  were 
in  no  danger  from  muddy  roads,  or  the  roar 
ing  torrents  of  the  annual  freshet. 

Dan  further  relieved  his  mind  of  more 
choice  specimens  of  his  cold-stored  wisdom. 
;'  Women  don't  know  nothin'  anyhow.  I 
never  knowed  a  woman  who  knew  enough 
to  go  into  the  house  when  it  rained." 


THE    MAN    FROM   MAINE       41 

As  this  remark  on  the  ignorance  of  the 
sex  was  uttered,  May  King  entered  from 
the  grounds.  At  one  glance  anyone  would 
have  said  that  her  presence  alone  was  enough 
to  refute  Dan's  statement. 

"  How  about  me,  Danny? "  she  in 
quired. 

"  You  ain't  a  woman,  you're  only  a  sawed- 
off  sample." 

*  That's  all  right,  little  brother;  but  you 
know  what  they  say  about  small  parcels/' 
May  replied,  reaching  up  and  chucking  him 
under  the  chin. 

'  Yes, — pizen  in  'em."  Dan  was  evi 
dently  in  bad  humour. 

'  What  is  the  matter  with  you  to-night, 
don't  your  clothes " 

"  No  they  don't  fit  me.  Now  you  know 
there's  goin'  to  be  a  party  to-night,  and  it's 
half -past-seven  now,  and  marm  sent  down 
to  Lewiston  for  a  suit  of  clothes  for  a  boy 
of  sixteen,"  he  asserted. 

'  Well,  Danny,  that's  your  age,  sixteen," 
May  added. 


42     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

Dan  was  half  ready  to  cry,  as  he  con 
tinued  : 

"  I  know  it,  but  I'm  a  misfit.  She  oughter 
ordered  a  suit  for  a  boy  of  ninety." 

Dan's  joke  fitted,  if  the  suit  did  not, 
causing  May  to  laugh  in  spite  of  her  desire 
to  console  Dan.  She  soon  controlled  her 
self,  however,  and  made  another  effort. 

"  Never  mind,  Danny,  they  probably  sent 
the  largest  boy's  suit  they  had.  Just  look  at 
me,  my  clothes  fit,  and  I  am  eighteen,"  turn 
ing  completely  around  for  his  inspection. 

"Of  course  they  do;  you  can  always  buy 
babies'  clothes  ready  made." 

May  saw  that  Dan  had  the  best  of  the 
argument  and  was  incorrigible. 

'  Well,  what  are  you  going  to  do  about 
it? "  she  inquired  in  despair. 

"  I'm  goin'  to  wear  this  suit  to  New  York 
when  we  go,  and  into  Uncle  Hiram's  house, 
and  to  South  Africa." 

"  You  wouldn't,  Dan." 

'  You  wait  and  see,  that's  all.  Marm's 
stuck  up  cos  Pop's  'pinted  Consul,  and  wants 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE       43 

to  queer  me  with  Gert  Doolittle,  but  I'm  on 
to  her  little  dodge." 

May  now  saw  a  chance  to  sidetrack  the 
suit  question,  so  she  opened  the  switch — 

"  Say,  Danny,  you  mustn't  call  papa 
'  Pop  '  any  more." 

Dan's  childish  instincts  were  still  predom 
inant,  hence  childlike  he  imitated  his  sister's 
speech  extravagantly. 

"Papa;  why  not?" 

'  You  should  call  him  the  Guv'nor." 

This  was  too  much  for  Dan's  democratic 
ideas,  and  the  merest  film  of  dignity  pos 
sessed  by  him  gave  way  in  loud,  coarse 
laughter. 

"Ho,  ho!  the  Guv'nor!  Dad  King!  I'd 
like  to  see  him  try  to  govern — our  old  sick 
cow,  or — or — marm!" 

The  idea  was  altogether  too  preposterous 
for  his  comprehension. 

"And  you,  Dan,"  May  again  essayed; 
"  you  must  try  to  become  dignified,  like  your 
great  namesake,  Daniel  Webster." 

Evidently  the  sidetrack  upon  which  May 


had  switched  had  a  freight  train  loaded 
with  high  explosives  upon  it,  for  the  smash 
promptly  followed. 

"  Don't  Daniel  Webster  me.  It's  enough 
to  have  to  carry  his  thunderin'  name  all  my 
life,  and  not  try  to  live  up  to  a  dictionary. 
Daniel  Webster!  and  me  most  seven  foot 
tall,  and  with  a  head  like  an  egg." 

"  But  he  had  brains." 

"  And  precious  little  good  his  brains  do 
me.  Who  was  he,  anyhow?  You  just 
produce  him  to-day,  and  I'll  scare  him  to 
death  with  an  electric  car,  or  a  telephone, 
or  a  bicycle,  or  a  phonograph.  Daniel 
Webster!  What  did  he  know?  All  he 
could  do  was  to  shoot  off  his  mouth,  to 
scare  folks." 

Dan's  disgust  was  certainly  genuine, 
and  of  the  dynamic  variety. 

"  Dan,  you're  awful.  Don't  you  know  he 
was  a  man  of  giant  intellect?  that  he 
talked " 

'  Yes,  and  that's  all  he  did  do,"  Dan  went 
on,  the  steam  still  escaping  from  every  valve. 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE       45 

'  There's  a  bookcase  full  of  Daniel  Webster, 
nothing  but  Webster.  There's  a  big  dic 
tionary,  full  of  words,  and  that's  what  he 
talked;  and  what  did  he  say? " 

"  Got  anything  ter  eat  in  the  house? " 

The  reply  to  Dan's  peroration  was  as  un 
expected  as  it  was  startling  to  both  Dan  and 
May,  and  came  in  very  husky  tones  from  the 
direction  of  the  outside  door. 

One  glance  from  each  caused  Dan  to  ex 
claim,  "  A  tramp,"  and  May  to  bolt,  with 
out  standing  upon  the  order  of  her  going, 
for  the  kitchen,  that  being  the  shortest  way 
out. 

The  aforesaid  tramp  was  not  to  be  mis 
taken  for  a  settled  minister,  a  bank  presi 
dent,  or  a  chairman  of  the  school  committee, 
so  the  boy  guessed  right  the  very  first  time, 
as  the  song  goes. 

Some  time  in  the  remote  past,  his  costume 
may  have  belonged  to  the  syndicated  pro 
prietorship  of  the  above  trio,  but  since  pass 
ing  from  their  control,  the  articles  of  apparel 
had  certainly  done  yeoman  service. 


The  trousers,  once  trousers,  had  been 
originally  light  of  colour,  and  fashioned  for 
a  taller  man,  the  result  of  which  was  a  liberal 
length  of  fringe  around  the  ankles.  Dirt, 
worn  and  torn  places,  patches  of  varying 
colours  crudely  adjusted,  were  the  jewels  in 
the  setting  of  original  material. 

The  vest  had  been  of  fancy  cut  and  cloth, 
now  long  since  forgotten.  A  red  under 
shirt  was  apparently  on  tip-toe,  endeavour 
ing  to  look  out  above  the  waistcoat,  and  to 
get  one  breath  of  fresh  air,  which  it  sorely 
needed,  it  being  nearly  black  in  the  face. 
The  hat  had  been  a  soft  one,  but  now  was 
very,  very  soft,  while  the  coat  was  out  of  all 
sympathy  with  its  companions.  It  was  a 
black  cutaway,  of  superior  material  and 
style,  and  so  far  as  seen,  was  in  excellent 
condition.  A  razor  was  evidently  not  in 
cluded  in  his  travelling  outfit. 

He  took  up  the  cue  promptly  that  Dan 
gave  him,  and  began  singing: 

"  Tramp,  tramp,  tramp,  the  boys  are  marching; 
Cheer  up  comrades  and  be  gay." 


THE    MAN    FROM   MAINE       47 

Dan  stretched  himself  up,  raising  aloft 
one  of  his  lengthy  arms,  as  he  replied : 

"  Don't  you  git  gay  with  me.     I'm  onto 

you." 

"  Come  down  to  earth,  sonny,"  said  the 
picturesque  pedestrian.  "I'm  looking  for 
work." 

"All  right,"  said  Dan;  "I  can  give  you 
lots  of  it." 

The  tramp  turned  and  took  two  long  steps 
toward  the  door. 

"  Come  back ;  I  thought  you  said  you  were 
looking  for  work?  " 

"  So  I  am;  just  looking  for  it,  that's  all." 

''  Well,  you  hain't  seen  it  yet,"  pursued 
the  boy. 

"  No,  and  I  don't  want  to  see  it.  If  I 
don't  see  it,  I  don't  find  it,  do  I,  sonny?  But 
we  are  wandering  from  the  subject;  let  us 
wander  back.  Is  there  any  grub  up  here?  " 

"Lashings  of  it,  Weary  Willie,"  was 
Dan's  reassuring  reply. 

"  Prove  it.  I  am  of  a  shy  and  incredulous 
nature;  my  faith  in  man,  and  especially 


48     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

woman,  has  been  ruthlessly  imposed  upon, 
so  pardon  me,  gentle  youth,  if  I  say  again, 
prove  it." 

"  In  a  minute,"  and  Dan  vanished  into  the 
kitchen. 

The  Tourist  of  the  Ties  was  left  alone,  but 
there  appeared  to  be  nothing  he  wished  to 
adhere  to,  or  possibly  he  was  not  that  way 
inclined,  so  with  an  amused  chuckle  he  thus 
soliloquized : 

"Did  I  get  onto  his  giraffelet's  pantlets? 
Well,  I  should  whistle!" 

As  he  gazed  about,  his  eyes  encountered 
the  portrait  of  Daniel  Webster. 

"  Durn  me,  if  there  ain't  the  duffer  I  was 
named  from.  Hello,  Dan.  How  are  you, 
Daniel?  Day-day.  Won't  shake?  All 
right,  old  man.  I  can  stand  it  if  you 
can." 

At  this  juncture  Dan  returned  with  a 
plate  of  hash. 

'  There,  Sleepy  Haymow,  there's  hash," 
said  he,  offering  the  tempting  assortment  of 
colour,  which  apparently  did  not  appeal  to 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE       49 

the  aristocratic  taste  of  the  namesake  of  the 
great  orator. 

'  That  stuff  was  never  made  to  eat,"  said 
he,  with  apparent  disgust;  but  the  maker  of 
that  mixture  was  behind  the  gun,  for  Maria 
was  in  the  kitchen  doorway,  and  she  was  an 
expert  on  explosives. 

"  You  jest  git  out  into  the  kitchen.  Can't 
eat  hash,  eh?  Git!  Ain't  good  enough  for 
ye,  is  it?  Somebody's  got  to  eat  hash.  I'll 
give  ye  something  ye  can't  swaller,"  and 
Mrs.  King  reached  for  the  broom  outside 
the  door. 

The  tramp  Webster  parleyed. 

"  Say,  woman,  you  little  know  that  the 
gentleman  who  stands  proudly  before  you 
counts  among  his  kindred  ties  the  blood  of  a 
Webster." 

"Counts  fiddlesticks!"  poohed  the 
madam. 

:<  No,  madam,  counts  ties." 

"  I  guess  that's  right,  and  I'd  have  you 
to  know  that  I  am  the  Honourabless  Mrs. 
King,  and  I  hain't  got  no  blood.  Dan,  take 


50     THE   MAN    FROM   MAINE 

that   Websterian   brain-tank   out   into  the 
kitchen  and  jam  it  full  of  hash,  d'ye  hear, 
hash.  It's  good  enough  for  me,  and  it's  good 
enough  for  him.     Mizzle!"  and  the  broom 
was  agitated  visibly  by  its  possessor. 

Webster  evidently  did  not  possess  himself 
of  an  insurance  company's  report,  before 
entering  the  King's  palace,  as  to  the  extra 
hazardous  nature  of  Mrs.  King  as  a  risk. 

"  Women  are  the  ruin  of  this  country,"  he 
mildly  murmured.  "  Some  of  our  brightest 
men  have  been  ruined  by  them.  Look  at 
me,"'  whereupon  he  was  "  expedited  "  into 
the  kitchen  by  Dan's  hand  upon  his  collar, 
and  Mrs.  King's  broom  upon  his  seating 
capacity.  Exit  Webster,  hurriedly,  in  the 
custody  of  Dan.  The  broom  followed 
like  a  projectile  from  a  torpedo  boat 
destroyer. 

"  I  s'pose  if  Asa'd  ben  here,  he'd  a  given 
him  a  sirlioin  steak  with  toadstool  trim 
mings.  Webster !  Sakes  alive !  if  the  devil 
himself  told  Asa  that  his  name  's  Webster, 
Asa'd  worship  him,"  and  Maria  turned  to 


Take  that  Websterian  brain-tank  out  into  the  kitchen 
and  jam  it  full  of  hash." 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE       51 

see  if  anything  required  readjustment  in  the 
room.  As  she  did  so,  she  encountered  Jim 
Bailey  and  Jane  Higgins  as  they  entered 
together. 

"Land  sakes!"  was  Maria's  greeting. 
"  If  here  ain't  Jim  Bailey  with  Jane  Hig 
gins.  Glad  to  see  ye.  Didn't  know  ye's 
courtin'  Jane,  Jim.  How  long's  that  ben?  " 
she  laughed. 

"  Oh,  about  ten  minutes,"  said  he. 

'  'Most  long  enough  to  make  a  match 
now'days." 

Jane  was  blushing.  Jane  was  an  old  maid 
of  the  uncertain  thirties,  evidently  among 
the  high  branches,  where  a  quartette  of  dec 
ades  would  be  recorded  before  many  more 
warm  summers  had  melted  into  the  historic 
has  been. 

'  There  now,  Mari,  you've  said  enough," 
she  affirmed. 

'"'  Hain't  said  half  's  much  's  I  can,"  and 
no  one  who  knew  Maria  Stackpole  King 
would  have  doubted  that  for  one  instant. 

Jim  enjoyed  fun,  however,  and  therefore 


urged :  "  Go  ahead,  Mrs.  King,  give  us  the 
limit." 

For  once,  however,  Mrs.  King  reined  up. 

"  Hain't  got  time,  Jim.  Mercy  me!  Asa 
has  only  just  come  in.  He  had  to  stop  to 
shoe  somebody's  hoss ;  guess  it  was  the  widder 
Green's,  or  deacon  Wilbur's  mare.  Both 
of  'em  kick  their  shoes  so  loose  in  five  minutes 
there  ain't  no  keepin'  nothin'  on  'em.  The 
deacon  had  two  shoes  on  day  before  yist'day, 
and  I  guess  the  widder's  must  be  barefoot 
by  this  time." 

"  How  does  Asa  bear  his  new  honours?  " 
Jane  inquired. 

"  Oh,  he's  as  bunkum  as  a  bantam  rooster, 
and  frisky  as  a  young  colt.  He  don't  know 
though  yit,  just  how  the  President  happened 
to  hear  of  him,  and  that  he  was  so  well  quali 
fied  for  a  Consul  to  Bully-what-you-may- 
call-em.  I  never  can  remember  that 
name." 

"  Boolahackentula,"  said  Jim. 

'  Yes ;  Dan  says  I  must  have  that  on  my 
visitin'  card,  along  with  Maria  Antoinetty 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE       53 

Stackpole  King,  Consullette  to  that  place, 
whatever  it  is." 

'  Well,  you  see,  Mrs.  King,  the  whole 
thing  is  simple  enough.  The  President  al 
ways  has  his  emissaries  around,  spying  out 
the  worthy  ones,  and  he  naturally  hit  upon 
Asa,"  Jim  endeavoured  to  explain. 

'  Wall,  if  he's  had  any  seminaries  around 
Asa's  shop,  Asa  never  suspicioned  it.  Now, 
Jim,  you  entertain  Jane  while  I  slip  out  for 
a  minute  and  change  my  dress.  Wall,  Asa 
has  his  good  p'ints.  I  won't  be  a  minute. 
There's  the  album,  Jane,  an'  you  can  show 
Jim,  Cousin  Hannah's  baby." 

With  this  Mrs.  King  disappeared  into  her 
bedroom  to  accomplish  her  rehabilitation. 

"  For  goodness  sake,  Jim  Bailey,"  said 
Jane,  seating  herself  by  the  table,  "  how  was 
it  Asa  King  ever  got  that  'pintment?  " 

'  I'll  tell  you,"  he  replied,  appropriating 
a  seat  on  the  haircloth  sofa;  "some  years 
ago,  when  the  President  was  a  plain,  unim 
portant  citizen,  my  father  had  the  good  for 
tune  to  save  his  life.  He  was  genuinely 


54     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

grateful,  and  told  him  then  that  if  ever  he 
could  do  him  a  favour,  to  call  on  him.  He 
never  wanted  anything,  so  there  was  never  a 
word  said  until  lately,  when  he  wrote  at  my 
solicitation,  saying  that  I  knew  a  man  to 
whom  I  wished  he  would  give  a  consulship,  to 
some  unimportant  place,  where  the  pay  was 
fair,  and  the  duties  of  no  earthly  account. 
Hang  me  if  he  didn't  send  the  commission 
right  on,  bang,  in  Asa's  name,  to  Boolahack- 
entula,  South  Africa ;  so  there  you  have  it." 

"Does  Asa  know  that?" 

"  Not  a  word." 

;<  Well,  I  never!     Is  there  any  pay?  " 

"  Pay!  Yes;  $3,000  a  year,  expenses  and 
perq's.  You  see — it's  one  of  those  places 
where  there  is  only  the  remotest  possibility 
of  an  important  matter  coming  up,  and  there 
must  be  somebody  there  to  screech  '  Hail 
Columbia,'  and  wave  the  Star  Spangled 
Banner  over  some  poor  cuss  who  ain't 
worth  two  cents." 

Jane  was  greatly  impressed  by  the  recital, 
it  was  quite  evident. 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE       55 

'  Three  thousand  dollars !  "  she  exclaimed. 
"  That's  a  fortune,  Jim.  But  why  didn't 
you  get  it  for  yourself?  " 

'  You  see,  I'll  get  more  than  the  money's 
worth  in  fun,  watching  the  blacksmith  play 
Consul." 

"  Be  you  goin'  too?  " 

'  Yes,  I'm  going  as  Private  Secretary," 
and  Jim  placed  his  thumbs  into  the  armholes 
of  his  vest,  making  a  deep  bow  to  his  inter 
ested  listener. 


CHAPTER   FIVE 

T  the  "  moment  of  contact,"  as 
they  say  in  describing  railroad 
collisions,  or  in  other  words,  as 
Jim  made  his  low  obeisance  to  Jane  Higgins, 
a  third  party  entered  the  room  in  the  shape 
of  May  King,  a  vision  of  simple  diminutive 
beauty. 

She  stopped  short  in  the  doorway,  evi 
dently  confused. 

"  Good  evening,"  said  Jim,  bowing  again, 
without  the  slightest  embarrassment. 

"  Good  evening,"  said  she  in  a  confused 
manner.  "Do  I  interrupt?" 

"  No,  indeed,"  Jim  replied.  "  I  was 
showing  Jane  Higgins  the  style  of  salute  to 
give  the  King  of  Zululand,  also  the  Queen 
of  the  King  household,"  making  another  low 
bow,  minus  the  thumbs  in  the  armholes. 

"  Oh,"  said  May,  also  bowing  low.  Peace 
was  declared. 

56 


THE    MAN    FROM   MAINE       57 

"  Hello,  Jane,"  now  warmly  exclaimed  the 
beautiful  young  lady,  who  was  very  simply 
but  tastefully  gowned.  "  Isn't  it  going  to  be 
lovely?  You  see,  Jim  is  going  with  us,  and 
he  can  take  me  around,  and  show  me  all  the 
beautiful  places,  the  grand  palaces,  and  the 
princes  and  princesses." 

"  Yes,"  added  Jane,  "  and  the  dukes  and 
dukesses,  and  the  earls  and  earlesses,  I  sup 
pose,  too." 

"  Oh,  yes,,  of  course,"  said  Jim.  "  I'll 
show  her  all  there  are,  rest  assured." 

May  and  Jim  were  now  seated  on  the  sofa 
together,  and  in  the  innocence  of  her  heart 
she  continued  to  paint  the  air-drawn  picture. 

"  I  suppose  we'll  have  a  fine  turnout  after 
we  get  there.  The  Guv'nor  will  buy  one,  of 
course." 

"  The  Guv'nor? "  Jane  repeated  inquir 
ingly. 

"  Yes,  papa.  Jim  says  I  ought  to  call 
him  that  now." 

"I  guess,"  Jane  replied,  with  the  set  lip 
expression  of  offended  propriety  supposed 


58    THE   MAN   FROM    MAINE 

to  belong  to  unselected  maidens  of  semi- 
mature  years,  "  I  guess  in  the  regal  royal 
society  of  Bally  Whack  or  whatever,  you'll 
have  to  give  up  callin'  the  Guv'nor's  Private 
Secretary,  Jim." 

"  I  guess  not,  must  I,  Jim?  " 

"  Not  on  your  life." 

"  No,  I've  always  called  him  Jim,  and  I'm 
always  going  to,"  and  the  beautiful  little 
doll  was  as  firm  as  a  plate  of  Harveyized 
steel. 

'  You  stick  to  that,"  the  interested  party 
referred  to  agreed  emphatically. 

There  was  now  the  opening  of  the  bed 
room  door,  and  the  low  rustle  of  a  dress, 
accompanied  by  the  entrance  of  Mrs.  King 
into  the  apartment. 

She  was  attired — not  simply  dressed,  but 
attired — in  the  black  silk  dress  that  hitherto 
had  only  seen  the  light  on  such  occasions  as 
called  for  the  use  of  the  "best  room;"  but 
this  being  a  state  occasion,  even  if  informal, 
May  had  succeeded  in  inducing  her  mother 
to  don  it. 


THE    MAN    FROM   MAINE       59 

She  was  all  excitement,  as  she  glanced  out 
of  the  still  open  doorway,  where  a  flood  of 
mingled  glow  of  the  western  heavens,  with 
the  pale  bluish  light  of  a  nearly  full  moon 
made  the  atmosphere  almost  as  light  as  day. 

"  Here  comes  Squire  Doolittle,  and  Doc 
tor  Locke,  and  Nell,"  she  announced  hastily; 
"  and  who  do  you  think?  If  Squire  Doo 
little  hain't  brought  that  city  niece  of  his, 
Gertrude  Doolittle,  along  with  him,  and 
ain't  she  rigged  out  to  kill?  She's  got  a  hat 
on  bigger  'n  an  ambrill.  Mary,  set  them 
chairs  back  straight  agin  the  wall.  I  wish 
Asa'd  hurry  up  an'  git  dressed.  I  can  dress 
in  half  the  time  he  can.  Guess  she's  'fraid 
she'll  git  moonstruck." 

Dan  now  put  in  an  appearance  from  the 
kitchen,  and  at  once  fell  under  the  Inspector 
General's  gaze. 

"  Dan,  pull  down  your  pants  leg,"  was 
the  quick  order. 

Dan  was  fully  as  quick.  In  fact,  there 
was  nothing  slow  about  Dan. 

"  Can't  'thout  showin'  my  shirt." 


60    THE    MAN   FROM   MAINE 

Gertrude  Doolittle  was  the  first  to  enter, 
and  hearing  this  remark  of  the  lengthy 
young  man,  very  modestly  beat  a  speedy  re 
treat,  for  fear  the  order  might  be  enforced. 

The  Squire  then  hove  in  sight,  followed 
by  his  niece,  who  discreetly  used  her  uncle  as 
a  visual  buffer,  then  Nell  Locke  and  the 
doctor. 

Mrs.  King,  who  was  chairman  of  all  com 
mittees,  extended  greetings. 

"  Why,  Squire,  how  d'ye  do?  Glad  to  see 
ye.  You're  looking  well,  doctor.  Hello, 
Nell,  where'd  ye  git  that  ring?  Ben  gettin' 
engaged  to  some  feller?  I  hain't  heard 
nothin'  'bout  it.  An'  this,  I  s'pose,  is  Ger 
trude  Doolittle.  Land  sakes!  I  ain't  seen 
you  sence  you  was  round  here  bare 
legged." 

The  squire  and  the  doctor  had  appropri 
ately  recognised  her  salutations,  shaking 
hands  with  Jim  Bailey  and  May.  Jane 
Higgins  joined  the  group  of  ladies,  who  re 
moved  their  hats,  Dan  and  May  doing  the 
honours  in  bestowing  them  safely.  When 


this  had  been  accomplished,  Mrs.  King 
resumed : 

"  Now,  folks,  make  yourselves  com f  table, 
and  I'll  see  if  Asa  is  ever  comin'.  You've  no 
idee  what  a  time  I've  had  sence  that  man  got 
his  sentence — I  mean  his  'pintment.  I 
shouldn't  wonder  ef  he  put  himself  in  nomi 
nation  for  the  Presidency  next  term." 

Whereupon  the  squire  added : 

"  I  s'pose  he's  got  his  nomination  speech 
ready  now.  Asa's  a  great  speechifier." 

At  this  moment  the  door  of  the  bedroom 
opened,  and  a  IGmo  edition  of  an  octavo 
Daniel  Webster  stood  one  moment  in  the 
entrance. 

He  wore  a  blue  swallow-tailed  coat  with 
brass  buttons,  a  buff  vest,  and  tight,  dark 
trousers,  light  gaiters,  high  dickey  and  stock; 
as  nearly  a  reproduction  of  the  American 
Demosthenes  as  he  could  well  present. 

Taking  a  step  forward,  he  raised  one  hand 
aloft,  and  thus  addressed  his  friends: 

"Feller  Citizens:  The  eagle  eye  of  the 
President  has  swept  the  horizon,  in  search  of 


62    THE   MAN   FROM    MAINE 

a  fitting  representative,  who  will  be  a  beacon 
light  of  his  administration  in  the  far-away 
darkness. 

"As  the  lightning  descends,  and  strikes 
the  most  conspicuous  object,  so  his  eye  imi 
tated  the  lightning,  and  struck — me.  But 
I  am  not  proud  or  stuck  up ;  no  matter  how 
common  the  folks  be,  I  will  still  take  'em  by 
the  hand." 

He  approached  the  squire :  "  How  be  ye, 
squire;  evenin',  doctor,"  shaking  hands 
heartily  with  each. 

"  Toler'ble,  toler'ble,"  returned  the  first 
gentleman.  "  Do  ye  feel  any  different  sence 
ye  was  made  a  Council,  Asa? " 

Asa  placed  one  hand  to  his  throat  as  he 
answered : 

"  I  begin  ter  feel  a  bit  of  a  choking  sensa 
tion  in  my  phalanx  now  an'  then.  Ye  see, 
I  ain't  used  to  travellin',  an'  I  never  was  f  ur- 
der  than  Lewiston  and  Augusta  in  my  life." 

Early  as  was  the  stage  of  affairs,  Dan's 
exuberant  nature  prompted  him  to  inquire  of 
his  mother; 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE       63 

"  Marm,  can  I  bring  in  the  molasses  candy 
now?  " 

"  Shut  up!  Set  down,  all  hands.  Dan, 
show  the  album  to  the  girls,"  directed  the 
Consul's  consort. 

Asa  then  continued: 

'  That's  when  I  think  of  the  great  respon 
sibility  which  is  placed  on  me,  to  represent 
this  great  guv'ment.  Ye  see  this  guv'ment 
hain't  been  run  right  sence  Andy  Jackson 
was  President.  I've  been  tellin'  folks  so 
for  years,  an'  now  they're  a  findin'  of  it 
out." 

Asa  was  beginning  to  enjoy  the  exalted 
position  which  he  had  suddenly  attained 
among  his  townsmen.  He  was  a  man  who 
would  have  continued  to  his  dying  day  the 
"  same  old  sixpence,"  so  even  was  his  dispo 
sition,  had  nothing  extraordinary  occurred 
to  lift  him  into  the  limelight  of  political  no 
toriety,  but  great  and  honest  as  was  his 
nature,  he  could  not  but  feel  the  importance 
of  his  position  in  the  eyes  of  all  he  met  in 
that  remote  corner  of  the  world. 


64     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

The  doctor  now  thought  to  have  his  little 
joke,  and  yet  in  more  than  half  earnest  he 
inquired : 

"  I  say,  Asa,  you  don't  think  you'd  like 
to  take  me  along,  as  Surgeon- General  to  the 
royal  household,  do  you?  " 

But  the  Consul  took  his  inquiry  in  all 
seriousness. 

"  I've  ben  thinkin'  of  that,  doctor.  I 
s'pose  the  suit- 
May  thought  this  a  good  time  to  correct 
her  father's  improper  pronunciation. 

"  Suite,  papa,"  she  whispered,  which  the 
said  sweet  papa  promptly  misunderstood. 

'  Very  affectionate  child,  doctor,"  he  re 
marked.  "  I  s'pose  the  suit— 

Another  prompting  from  the  affectionate 
child. 

"  Suite,  suite  f  papa." 

"  Sweet  girl,"  fondly  repeated  the  ap 
pointee  for  consular  honours,  but  May  was 
not  to  be  shaken  off.  She  had  taken  it  upon 
herself  to  ingraft  into  her  father's  limited 
vocabulary  some  polite  English,  that  ap- 


peared  necessary  for  South  African  con 
sumption,  hence  her  persistence. 

"  Papa,  you  don't  pronounce  it  right. 
You  should  say,  suite." 

This  was  where  Asa  reared.  The  spur 
was  too  much  for  the  plodding  old  family 
horse.  He  knew  that  for  the  present,  at 
least,  there  was  no  occasion  for  a  revision  of 
his  dictionary. 

With  his  present  attainments  he  had  risen 
to  fame,  and  as  a  farmer  would  not  put  on 
a  dress  suit  to  take  luncheon  with  a  neigh- 
hour,  so  polished  diction  was  uncalled  for 
now,  even  were  he  possessed  of  the  lingual 
commodity,  which  he  was  not. 

"  Don't  you  s'pose  I  know  the  calipers  of 
the  folks  I'm  talkin'  to? "  was  his  impatient 
inquiry.  '  Well,  all  right.  I  s'pose  the  su- 
su-it  wouldn't  be  complete  'thout  a  surgeon, 
but  the  salary  won't  warrant  it.  I've  got 
to  have  a  Private  Secertary  of  State,  and  a 
varlet,  and  when  a  man  has  to  hobnob  with 
r'y'lty,  the  tin  melts  fast.  We've  got  to  give 
state  bankets,  too,  and  that  costs  like 


66    THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

Sancho.  Ye  can't  banket  r'y'lty  on  baked 
beans  and  salt  pork,  and  it  don't  matter  a 
gosh  darn  to  them  what  it  costs,  does  it, 
Jim?" 

"  Not  a  thing/'  Jim  agreed. 

"  About  what  wages  does  a  Private  Sec 
retary  git? "  was  the  squire's  practical 
inquiry. 

"  He  don't  git  wages,  squire,  he  gits  a  sal 
ary."  Asa  had  learned  the  difference  that 
accompanies  this  distinction. 

"  Does  the  varlet  git  a  salary,  too?  "  con 
tinued  the  squire. 

"  No,  he  gits  wages." 

"What  does  he  do?" 

"  The  varlet? " 

"  Yes." 

"  Wall,  I've  ben  readin'  up  the  life  of 
Napoleon — he  was  the  fust  Consul,  ye  know 
— an'  as  near  as  I  can  figure  it  out,  he  had  to 
dress  him,  an'  ondress  him,  see  that  his  flan 
nels  was  mended,  keep  his  hair  brushed,  an' — 
an'  his  boots  well  tallered." 

Mrs.  King,  who  had  been  respectfully 


silent  until  now,  saw  her  opportunity  to 
emerge  from  temporary  eclipse. 

"  Well,  I  guess  some  of  them  duties  I'll 
take  care  of,"  with  a  nod  that  placed  this  in 
the  category  of  ultimatums. 

Maria's  ultimatums  having  been  for  years 
as  numerous  as  unsold  shares  in  an  over 
capitalized  copper  mining  company,  this 
one  created  no  panic  in  the  market — so  Asa 
continued. 

"  Then  he's  got  to  have  lit'ry  talent,  so's 
to  write  a  book  about  his  master  arter- 
wards." 

"Pretty  good  job,  ain't  it,  Asa?"  ven 
tured  the  doctor. 

'  Yes,  but  I  shall  be  able  to  let  up  on  some 
of  them  duties."  Mrs.  King  again  ventured 
into  the  firing  line. 

"  Is  that  varlet  coming  right  into  our  bed 
room,  I  sh'd  like  to  know? " 

'  Ye  see,  Napoleon  teches  a  leetle  bit  light 
on  that  p'int.  I  can't  jest  make  out  yit, 
whuther  Josephine  had  got  up  first,  and  gone 
out  to  the  kitchen,  or  how,"  he  explained. 


68    THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

Jane's  confidence  in  Mrs.  King  suddenly 
became  a  known  factor. 

"  I  ain't  much  acquainted  with  Josie,"  she 
averred,  "  but  if  she  had  half  Maria's  spunk, 
she'd  a  ben  up  and  had  a  fire  built,  an'  the 
kittle  bilin'  " 

Asa's  historical  research  now  enabled  him 
to  sink  Jane's  craft  with  a  contact  mine. 

"  Bless  your  poor  ignorant  soul,  Jane 
Higgins,  why,  they  hed  a  cook." 

"  La  sakes,"  weakly  from  Jane. 
'  Yes,  an'  we'll  hev  one  in  our  su-su-it, 
too ;  but  we  can  hire  a  whole  reticule  of  ser 
vants  after  we  get  there.  Ye  see,  the  guv'- 
ment  is  princely  in  the  matter  of  salary. 
$3,000  per  year,  an'  found." 

The  "ohs"  and  "ahs"  that  followed 
would  remind  a  listener,  of  a  fireworks  night 
on  a  Fourth  of  July. 

'Yes-sir-ee;     Bob-nag-ee;     Horse-and- 
buggy.     $3,000  per  year." 

This  was  real  Yankee  emphasis,  and  Asa 
was  Yankee  from  keel  to  truck.  Dan  had 
been  speechless  for  an  unconscionably  long 


time  in  his  estimation,  and  regardless  of  con 
sequences  repeated  his  former  inquiry: 

"  Marm,  can't  I  bring  in  the  molasses 
candy  now? " 

"  Shut  up ;  don't  you  hear  your  father 
talking? " 

Dan  again  retired  into  a  temporary  ob 
scurity,  as  the  doctor  wanted  information. 

"What's  Mrs.  King  going  to  have?" 

"  Ye  see,  doctor,  guv'ment  don't  take 
women  into  account.  Officially  they  don't 
exist.  It  seems  Josephine  had  a  maid,  but 
we  may  hev  to  put  up  with  a  smart  widder." 

The  quick-firing  gun  responded. 

"  Asa  J..King,"  said  Mrs.  King,  and  when 
the  "  J  "  wras  inserted,  there  was  something 
doing,  "  when  I  can't  arrange  and  dis 
arrange  my  own  twilight,  you  kin  git  a  wid 
der,  but  it  won't  be  till  you're  a  widderer,  I 
kin  tell  ye." 

In  reporting  this,  "  laughter  and  ap 
plause  "  should  be  added.  Maria  was  a 
practised  target  shooter,  and  she  generally 
hit  the  bull's-eye. 


70    THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

"  Good  for  you,  Mari,"  said  Jane,  who 
had  no  sympathy  with  airs. 

"  What  '11  ye  do  when  r'v'lties  come  callin' 

•/  « 

on  ye? "  inquired  the  squire. 

"  I  ain't  callated  much  on  that  yit,  but  I 
guess  I'll  send  my  varlet  out  to  hold  the  hoss 
an'  ask  'em  in.  Then  they  can  kind  er  look 
at  the  picters  in  the  album  till  I'm  ready  ter 
receive  'em.  Ye  see,  it  don't  do  to  see  folks 
too  soon,  or  they'll  think  ye  ain't  much  pun- 
kins.  Napoleon,  I  hear,  made  folks  cool 
their  heels  in  the  anteroom.  What  on  airth 
he  wanted  'em  to  have  cold  heels  for,  I  don't 
know.  Now  Maria  wouldn't  need  no  ante 
room 

Maria  was  ready;  as  an  extemporaneous 
speaker,  Maria  was  a  success  of  the  first 
magnitude. 

"  Don't  you  say  nothin',  Asa,  for  if  ever 
I  had  ice  on  my  spinal  column,  it  was " 

What  the  occasion  was,  is  still  unknown, 
for  Dan,  whose  knowledge  of  inappropriate 
periods  in  the  conversation  of  his  elders, 
when  he  might  venture  a  remark,  might  be 


THE   MAN    FROM    MAINE       71 

represented  by  the  algebraic  character  of 
"  x,"  butted  in,  in  time  to  cut  short  even  Mrs. 
King  in  the  height  of  her  indignation. 

"Say!"  was  Dan's  introductory  mono 
syllable,  "  ain't  ye  never  goin'  to  do  nothin'? 
Can't  we  play  Button,  Spin  the  Platter, 
Copenhagen,  or  somethin'?" 

"  Dan,  you  hain't  got  a  bit  of  dignity," 
retorted  his  mother.  "  Look  at  your 
father." 

"  Oh,  rats  on  your  father! "  was  the  de 
cidedly  disrespectful  rejoinder  of  Asa's  only 
son,  but  which,  coming  as  it  did  from  Dan, 
attracted  absolutely  no  attention  from  any 
one. 

It  is  to  be  understood,  that  while  much  of 
Asa's  conversation  may  appear  impossible, 
if  taken  with  absolute  seriousness,  he  was 
possessed  of  much  grim  humour,  and  while 
speaking  with  apparent  earnestness  at  times, 
there  was  ample  evidence  that  in  his  heavy 
way,  he  was  merely  "  jollying  "  his  friends, 
and  that  even  they  were  not  always  deceived 
by  his  appearance  of  ignorance. 


A  stranger  listening  to  Asa  King's  ap 
parently  ignorant  utterances  might  have 
taken  him  for  a  fool,  while  in  fact  he  was 
many  degrees  removed  from  such  a  condi 
tion  of  mind.  True,  his  actual  knowledge 
of  the  world  from  personal  observation  was 
limited,  but  like  the  desert  that  only  wants 
irrigation  to  produce  beautiful  results,  so 
Asa's  mind  was  fertile  and  prolific  of  mental 
wonders,  were  he  to  have  had,  or  to  still  have, 
the  brain  irrigation  of  travel  and  actual  con 
tact  with  ways  and  people,  other  than  those 
of  his  own  kin  and  kind. 

He  was  gentle,  and  simple  as  a  child,  of 
kindly  nature,  but  like  everybody  else,  and 
which  nobody  will  admit,  he  had  eccentric, 
almost  trivial  caprices.  We  see  these  things 
plainly  enough  in  others,  but  think  ourselves 
absolutely  free  from  them. 

Probably  each  one  of  us  knows  of  certain 
people,  intimate  friends,  perhaps,  of  unques 
tioned  sanity  and  intelligence,  who  cannot  re 
main  in  the  room  with  a  cat;  who  are  made 
frantic  by  the  presence  of  cheese,  or  per- 


haps  celery  on  the  table;  to  hear  a  person 
whistle,  or  drum  with  their  fingers;  and 
scores  of  other  things.  But  who  of  us 
can  enumerate  our  own  peculiarities,  or 
even  if  we  could,  wrould  admit  for  one 
instant  that  they  indicated  in  the  slightest 
degree  any  impairment  of  the  brain,  or 
lessened  our  ability  to  comprehend  the  prog 
ress  of  the  world. 

Asa  might  be  placed  in  this  category.  A 
trickster  probably  could  not  have  unloaded 
a  gold  brick  on  Asa,  or  have  inveigled  him 
into  any  unknown  place  by  means  of  confi 
dence  games,  for  Asa  "  read  the  papers," 
but  it  is  highly  probable  that  he  might  have 
many  times  given  money  to  sham  charity 
solicitors,  rather  than  miss  one  that  was 
genuine. 

Mrs.  King,  although  talkative  and  assert 
ive,  was  a  true  helpmeet  to  Asa,  and  had 
every  respect  for  him  in  her  unpolished  way. 
No  sign  of  affection  was  ever  publicly 
shown,  but  she  would  have  fought  for  him, 
like  an  enraged  tigress,  had  the  necessity 


74    THE    MAN   FROM    MAINE 

arisen.  While  she  generally  spoke  promptly 
and  with  an  air  of  emphasis,  still  she  never 
thought  of  "  bossing  "  Asa,  and  Asa  would 
have  been  a  bad  candidate  for  such  treat 
ment,  gentle  as  he  appeared.  There  was 
plenty  of  Yankee  grit  and  firmness  there 
when  necessary,  as  witness  the  fact  that  he 
persisted  in  his  adherence  to  the  doctrines  of 
the  Democratic  party  in  his  little  community, 
when,  like  Casabianca,  "  all  but  him  had 
fled." 


CHAPTER    SIX 

'QUIRE  DOOLITTLE,  short, 

fat  and  cumbrous,  appeared  to 
be  quite  rejuvenated  this  even 
ing,  advertising  the  fact  by  remarking — 

"  I  feel  like  a  boy  agin,  seein'  Asa  doin' 
so  well.  I  b'lieve  I  could  beat  most  any  on 
ye,"  alluding  of  course  to  Dan's  proposition 
to  play  games,  the  thing  uppermost  in  Dan's 
mind,  associated  as  games  usually  were  to 
him,  with  refreshments,  and  forfeits,  which 
meant  kisses,  in  addition  to  which,  Gert  Doo- 
little  was  present,  a  very  important  factor, 
who  cut  a  wide  swath  in  Dan's  juvenile 
affections. 

The  squire  was  the  same  age  as  Dan,  they 
were  seventy  and  sixteen,  the  former  being 
in  his  second  childhood.  The  feeling  for  fun 
appeared  to  be  infectious,  for  the  doctor  now 
joined  the  union  of  which  Dan  was  the  walk 
ing  delegate. 

75 


76    THE    MAN   FROM    MAINE 

"  Me,  too,  squire,"  said  he.  '  Trot  out  a 
plate,  Dan,  and  we'll  see  which  is  the  spryest, 
eh,  Asa?" 

'  The  ancientest  of  Romans  had  games, 
and  them  fellers  had  Consuls,  so  I'll 
go  ye." 

The  acquiescence  of  the  Yankee  Consul 
settled  the  matter,  and  Dan  began  a  war 
dance  of  the  Sioux  instanter. 

Mrs.  King  was  quite  as  interested  as  any 
of  them  to  participate  in  the  fun,  and  one 
might  readily  have  believed  that  some  exhil 
arating  and  youth-renewing  fluid  had  been 
suddenly  turned  on  at  the  metre,  so  giddy 
were  old  and  young. 

"  All  right ;  now  boys  and  girls  set  round 
in  a  circle.  Dan,  git  a  plate." 

All  was  now  bustle  and  buzz,  everybody 
talking  at  once  in  anticipation  of  a  good 
time. 

Dan  probably  thought  that  by  this  time 
his  mother  might  have  forgotten  something, 
he  therefore  prompted  her  again  as  before. 

"  Can  I  bring  in  the  molas " 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE       77 

Molas —  was  as  far  as  Dan  was  allowed  to 
proceed  this  time. 

"  Dan  King,  you  say  molasses  candy  to 
me  again  to-night,  and  I'll  warm  you  well/1 
she  said  in  a  tone  that  carried  conviction — at 
the  time. 

Dan  went  after  the  plate  with  mutterings 
that  if  magnified  into  audible  speech,  un 
doubtedly  indicated  his  firm  determination 
to  run  away  to  sea,  or  to  enlist  in  the  army 
as  a  drummer  boy  or  captain's  waiter;  pos 
sibly  he  may  have  had  some  idea  of  becoming 
a  pirate,  or  exterminating  all  the  Indians 
still  left  on  the  far  western  prairies. 

Jane  suggested  that  it  would  be  a  pretty 
large  heating  contract  to  warm  the  whole 
of  Dan's  anatomy,  but  Mrs.  King  failed  to 
agree. 

"  I  can  fill  it  all  right.  Here  you,  Mary, 
take  this  table  out'r  the  way.  There,  Jim, 
you  set  there,  next  the  squire." 

Dan  returned  with  the  plate. 

"  Dan,  go  over  there  by  the  doctor." 

Dan  reluctantly  obeyed,  casting  backward 


78    THE    MAX   FROM   MAINE 

glances  at  Gertrude,  by  whose  side  he  would 
have  much  preferred  to  sit.  They  were  now 
seated  in  a  semicircle,  in  about  the  following 
order:  Dan,  Dr.  Locke,  Gertrude,  Nell 
Locke,  Mrs.  King,  Asa,  Jane  Higgins,  May, 
Squire  Doolittle,  and  Jim  Bailey. 

The  idea  at  once  suggested  itself  to  Jim's 
accustomed  eye  that  there  was  a  strong  re 
semblance  to  a  minstrel  first  part  in  the 
arrangement  of  the  assemblage,  which  led 
him  to  remark : 

"  Opening  Chorus :  '  There  once  lived  a 
darkey,  and  his  name  was  Uncle  Ned,' ' 
which  bit  of  pleasantry  caused  loud  laughter 
from  all.  When  this  had  subsided,  Mrs. 
King,  as  Mistress  of  Ceremonies,  issued  De 
partment  Order  No.  2. 

"  Now,  Dan,  spin  the  platter." 

Dan  took  the  centre  of  the  stage  like  a 
star  performer,  and  all  eyes  were  on  him. 
It  was  a  long  range  to  absorb  Dan  with  one 
glance,  but  he  was  not  famed  for  his  bash 
ful  qualities,  and  it  would  not  have  required 
the  genius  of  a  Sherlock  Holmes  to  deduce 


THE    MAN    FROM   MAINE       79 

that,  for  a  dead  certainty,  Dan  would  call 
Gertrude  Doolittle's  name  when  that  plate 
was  duly  spun. 

The  expected  happened,  and  the  name  of 
Gert  Doolittle  resounded  on  the  evening  air 
as  the  circular  china  revolved  on  the 
carpet. 

With  a  leap  and  a  bound,  the  city  girl  was 
on  the  spot,  capturing  the  prize  before  it  had 
appreciably  slackened.  Simple  as  was  her 
success,  yet  applause  and  complimentary 
remarks  were  liberally  bestowed  upon  her. 

Dan  retired,  while  the  "  Jim  Dandiest 
Peacherine  "  in  the  world,  in  his  estimation, 
had  the  floor.  As  she  twisted  the  plate,  and 
its  revolutions  began,  she  cried,  "  Uncle 
John,"  but  Uncle  John  was  not  as  young  as 
he  used  to  be,  and  the  centre  of  equilibrium 
when  seated,  was  where  he  had  to  project  it 
forward  several  degrees,  and  adjust  himself 
to  the  new  order  of  things  before  rising. 
Then  locomotion  set  in,  and  the  space 
between  the  chair  and  the  object  of  his 
desires  was  covered. 


80    THE   MAN   FROM    MAINE 

Needless  to  say,  probably,  the  plate  was 
as  dead  on  the  floor  as  the  carpet  itself  when 
he  reached  it. 

"Gosh  dang  it!"  said  he,  as  a  perfect 
shout  of  laughter  was  the  penalty  of  his 
failure.  "What  hev  I  got  to  do?"  he  in 
quired,  good-naturedly. 

"  Forfeit,  forfeit,"  was  the  chorus  of 
replies. 

:'  What  is  it  goin'  ter  be? "  he  wished  to 
know. 

"  Measure  four  yards  of  tape  with  Mrs. 
King,"  was  the  squire's  sentence. 

This  brought  the  said  party  of  the  second 
part  promptly  to  her  feet. 

'Well,  I  do  declare!"  was  her  exclama 
tion.  "  All  right,  Uncle  John.  We  kin  do 
it,  I  guess.  Dan,  bring  me  them  1'unge 
cushions.  Our  knees  hain't  got  prayin'  hide 
on,  has  they? " 

"  My  hide  is  thick  enough,  I  guess, 
Maria,"  affirmed  the  squire,  "  but  I  guess  the 
hinges  need  'ilinV 

Dan  procured  the  cushions,  throwing  them 


THE   MAN   FROM   MAINE       81 

each  in  turn  in  the  air,  and  hitting  them  with 
his  fist  on  the  way  down,  as  he  would  strike 
a  punching  bag.  Dan  never  lost  a  chance 
to  fill  in  the  extras. 

The  cushions  being  finally  placed  on  the 
floor,  Mrs.  King  knelt  promptly,  but  the 
squire  with  much  ado;  whereupon  they  took 
hands  and  "  measured  tape  "  to  the  quantity 
of  four  yards,  Gertrude  calling  the 
number. 

Maria  rose  nimbly  at  the  conclusion,  it 
requiring  the  assistance  of  the  doctor  and 
Jim  to  restore  the  squire  to  a  perpendicular 
position. 

Places  being  resumed,  the  squire  essayed 
to  give  the  plate  a  whirl,  but  there  was  no 
"  Foxy  Grandpa  "  about  the  squire,  the  plate 
giving  two  or  three  very  wobbly  imitations 
of  "  we  won't  go  home  till  morning,"  as  he 
called  with  much  deliberation,  "  May  King." 

Had  May  King  been  electricity,  she  could 
not  have  reached  that  plate  in  time  to  prevent 
its  fall,  and  "  forfeit,  forfeit,"  again  became 
the  cry. 


82     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

The  forfeit  was  announced  by  the  squire 
to  be  as  follows : 

"  You  kin  git  three  letters  out'n  the  post 
office  with— Dan." 

Dan's  countenance  fell  like  the  mercury 
when  a  lump  of  ice  is  applied,  and  his  disap 
pointment  and  disgust  found  vent  in  these 
words : 

"  Aw,  I  can  kiss  my  sister  any  time,  if  I 
want  to." 

Had  Dan's  sister  been  Jim's  sister,  or  Dan 
been  Jim,  wild  horses  could  not  have  pre 
vented  the  exchange  of  kiss  microbes,  as  the 
result  of  the  squire's  announcement.  The 
moral  is  too  obvious  to  need  explanation. 

Dan  sulked.  He  moved  sullenly  to  the 
centre  of  the  room,  and  held  his  head  up  to 
the  utmost  of  his  ability,  as  May  stood  in 
front  of  him,  gazing  skyward  as  she  might 
at  the  top  of  the  Eiffel  Tower. 

Not  to  be  balked,  May  ran  to  a  closet,  and 
brought  forth  a  set  of  folding  steps  that 
appear  ordinarily  as  an  innocent  chair,  but 
on  reversing  the  back  they  become  a  series 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE       83 

of  steps.  These  she  placed  promptly  in 
Dan's  right-of-way,  and  mounted,  appro 
priating  the  three  letters,  and  returning  to 
earth,  amid  the  loud  cries  of  approval  and 
laughter  of  the  entire  party.  May  made  a 
hit,  and  Dan  retired  into  obscurity.  The 
steps  were  set  one  side,  and  the  little  beauty, 
whom  Dan  could  "  kiss  any  time,"  gave  the 
plate  a  rapid  whirl. 

'  The  Guv'nor,"  called  May,  which  caused 
no  movement  from  anyone. 

'  That's  you,  dad,"  shouted  Dan,  fully  re 
covered  from  the  sulks. 

"Me?"  inquired  Asa  deliberately. 

Both  Dan  and  May  assured  him  that  it 
meant  him. 

"  Didn't  know  I  was  the  Guv'nor,"  was 
Asa's  remark,  as  he  made  for  the  plate,  but 
too  late  to  reach  it  in  time. 

Jim  announced  that  "that  was  one  on 
him." 

:<  I  s'pose  I  got  to  whang  it  now,  ain't  I?  " 
Asa  inquired,  when  a  chorus  of  protests  arose 
in  the  shape  of  "  no,"  "  not  yet,"  "  not  'till 


you've  paid  a  forfeit,"  "  don't  be  in  a  hurry," 
and  the  like. 

The  twinkle  came  into  Asa's  eye  as  he 
said, — 

"  P'raps  Consuls  aint  'lowed  to  kiss  no 
body." 

"  Ain't  they  though?  "  from  Jim. 

"  Mary,  tell  me  something  dignified  and 
proper  now." 

"Let  me  see,"  May  reflected.  "You 
may  pick  a  bushel  of  cherries  with  Jane 
Higgins." 

"  Be  the  cherries  ripe? "  he  wished  to 
know. 

Jim  proposed  that  he  sample  them. 

Asa  had  been  sitting  in  a  rocking  chair, 
and  as  Mrs.  King  suggested : 

"  Come,  git  up  in  your  chairs  you  two," 
Asa  mounted  the  rocker  although  very  un 
steady,  and  Jane  the  cane  seated  chair  she 
had  been  occupying. 

Jim  called,  "Now, — one,"  and  the  first 
"  cherry  "  was  picked,  which  prompted  Asa 
to  inquire: 


85 

"  How  many  cherries  be  there  in  a 
bushel? "  Squire  Doolittle  supplying  the  in 
formation  desired  by  replying,— 

"  Nigh  on  't  two  thousand,  I  reckon." 

"  Cracky,  Jane,"  said  Asa. 

The  prospect  of  standing  on  that  uncer 
tain  foundation  for  the  length  of  time 
required  had  its  drawbacks. 

Dan  bobbed  up  serenely  once  more,  when 
the  prospect  of  a  long  session  arose.  Dan 
had  a  short  memory. 

"  Marm,  ain't  it  time  for  the  molasses 
candy? " 

You  have  only  to  knock  long  enough  at 
a  door,  to  have  it  opened.  Dan  was  an  opti 
mistic  believer  in  the  perseverance  that 
had  no  special  reference  to  keeping  honour 
bright. 

"  Mercy  sakes  alive,  yes,"  said  Mrs.  King 
resignedly.  Port  Arthur  had  capitulated, 
and  with  a  "  too-whoo "  yell,  that  would 
have  driven  a  Comanche  brave  into  nervous 
prostration,  Dan  leaped  toward  the  kitchen 
door,  opened  it  wide,  and  shouted  "  Varlet." 


86    THE   MAN   FROM   MAINE 

What  followed,  instantly  struck  every 
one  in  that  assemblage  with  equal  consterna 
tion.  Dan  had  sprung  a  mine. 

Webster,  the  tramp,  had  "  acquired " 
some  of  Asa's  wardrobe,  as  well  as  some  of 
Mrs.  King's,  and  entered  the  sitting-room  at 
Dan's  call,  which  this  "  devilish  kid  "  had 
prearranged,  carrying  before  him  a  large 
tray  of  molasses  candy. 

Each  rose  suddenly  and  moved  back,  not 
knowing  just  what  this  strange  figure 
meant;  whether  it  was  a  clever  bit  of  mas 
querading  on  the  part  of  someone,  or  just 
what  the  secret  of  it  might  be. 

Even  Mrs.  King  was  speechless,  which 
goes  far  to  illustrate  the  consternation  with 
which  the  remainder  of  the  party  was 
seized. 

Webster  came  directly  in  front  of  the 
couple  mounted  on  the  chairs,  holding  up 
the  tray. 

"  Here  ye  are,  Guv'nor.  Have  a  kiss 
with  me  this  time." 

"  Git  out,"  was  Asa's  reply,  as  he  made  a 


"  Here  ve  are,  Guv' nor.      Have  a  kiss  with  me  this  time." 


THE    MAN   FROM   MAINE       87 

pass  at  the  tray  with  one  hand,  knocking  it 
from  Webster's,  it  falling  on  the  cushions 
below  without  upsetting;  the  aforesaid 
cushions  not  having  been  removed  from  the 
floor  since  the  squire's  and  Mrs.  King's 
forfeit. 

This  violent  action  on  the  part  of  the 
blacksmith  caused  him  to  lose  his  balance 
upon  the  rocking  chair,  and  to  pitch  forward, 
falling  backward  into  the  tray  of  molasses 
candy  on  the  cushions. 

Jane  naturally  had  endeavoured  to  arrest 
his  fall,  which  effort  on  her  part  resulted  dis 
astrously  to  her  as  well,  for  one  foot  per 
forated  the  cane  seat  of  the  chair,  and  an 
amount  of  striped-hosed  limb  of  goodly  pro 
portions  sufficient  to  reach  from  the  seat  of 
the  chair  to  the  floor,  became  visible  to  the 
astonished  onlookers. 

Jim  had  not  been  idle  meantime,  for  as 
Asa  fell,  he  had  made  a  sudden  dash  for 
ward,  shoving  Webster  violently  backward, 
he  striking  the  still  unfolded  steps,  the  im 
petus  causing  them  to  double  up,  with  the 


88    THE   MAN   FROM   MAINE 

tramp  standing  on  his  head  on  the  other 
side. 

Asa  unhurt,  was  assisted  to  his  feet  by 
the  doctor  and  Mrs.  King,  with  many  choice 
bits  of  molasses  candy  adhering  to  his  Web- 
sterian  swallow-tail. 

This  series  of  events  caused  Dan  to  burst 
into  a  high  state  of  convulsive  laughter, 
which,  in  spite  of  the  diversified  accidents, 
became  contagious  and  the  laugh  general 
among  all  the  spectators. 


CHAPTER    SEVEN 

Gertrude  Doolittle  I  am  in- 
debted  for  a  very  considerable 
portion  of  tins  story  of  the  sudden 
rise  of  Asa  King,  the  village  blacksmith; 
and  for  the  remainder  Jim  Bailey  is  respon 
sible.  Both  have  proved  good  narrators, 
and  fully  alive  to  the  humour  of  the 
situation. 

Jim  had  procured  this  appointment  for 
Asa  purely  for  a  lark,  and  proposed  to  see 
the  thing  through.  He  realised  that  a  man, 
generally  considered  to  be  of  more  than 
average  ability  in  a  small  community,  when 
suddenly  transplanted  and  placed  in  a  posi 
tion  where  his  duties  and  responsibilities  were 
as  foreign  to  him  as  the  land  he  was  going 
to,  must  bring  about  results  quite  up  to  farce 
comedy. 

You  may,  on  the  other  hand,  transplant 
the  shrewdest  operator  in  Wall  Street  to  the 

89 


90    THE    MAN   FROM   MAINE 

blacksmith  shop  or  the  farm,  and  get  fully 
as  ludicrous  results.  The  palm  is  a  flat 
failure  above  the  Arctic  circle,  as  also  is  the 
maple  in  the  torrid  zone. 

Asa  was  a  sage  in  Dixfield,  now  let  us  see 
what  benefit  that  is  to  him  when  he  arrives  in 
South  Africa. 

Days  passed,  and  preparations  were  com 
pleted  for  the  voyage.  Jim  had  attended 
to  nearly  all  the  details  of  the  trip,  and 
especially  all  that  concerned  the  govern 
ment.  The  passage  was  secured  from  New 
York,  whither  the  whole  party  were  to  pro 
ceed,  and  remain  a  week,  Asa  planning  to 
surprise  his  brother,  Hiram,  there,  by  his 
appointment  and  "  su-it." 

Miss  Doolittle  had  returned  to  New  York, 
and  on  a  day  early  in  September,  Asa,  Mrs. 
King,  Dan,  May,  Jim  Bailey,  and  lastly 
Webster,  whose  name  had  endeared  him  to 
Asa,  and  who  appointed  him  "  varlet "  in 
consequence;  proceeded  to  Portland,  where 
they  embarked  on  the  steamer  for  Boston, 
there  taking  train  for  New  York. 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE       91 

Such  was  the  status  of  affairs  as  the  reader 
is  introduced  into  the  drawing-room  of 
Hiram  King  on  Fifth  Avenue,  which  was 
palatial  in  extent  and  in  the  magnificence  of 
its  appointments. 

Why  describe  the  furnishings  of  the  resi 
dence  of  a  millionaire,  a  gentleman  of  high 
social  attainments,  extremely  cultured, 
educated,  artistic  and  refined?  I  will  merely 
mention  two  things,  however,  not  that  they 
were  unusual,  or  of  noticeable  style  or  qual 
ity  under  similar  circumstances,  but  because 
they  are  incidents  in  my  story. 

In  the  centre  of  this  elegant  apartment 
stood  a  large  round  ottoman  with  high  cen 
tre,  and  at  each  side  of  the  broad  entrance 
were  statues;  one  of  Diana,  the  other  of 
Venus. 

On  the  evening  in  question,  the  Hon. 
Hiram  King,  former  Governor  of  the  State 
of  New  York,  and  his  wife,  Victoria  King, 
were  each  quietly  occupied  reading;  the 
former  a  magazine,  and  the  latter  a 
novel. 


Presently  Hiram  looked  up  from  his  book, 
and  remarked: 

;'  When  you  get  to  a  period,  sweetheart,  I 
want  to  speak  to  you." 

This  brought  instant  attention  from  Mrs. 
King,  who  replied, — 

'  Why  now, — any  time,  dear,"  and  her 
book  was  closed. 

"  Here  is  a  short  story,"  he  began,  "  which 
from  the  incidents,  I  believe  was  written 
from  the  true  facts  regarding  that  man 
Fielding,  whom  I  pardoned,  you  remem 
ber." 

"  Indeed." 

;<  Yes.  I  received  some  harsh  criticism 
you  recollect,  from  the  press  at  the  time,  but 
the  real  facts  could  not  be  made  known, 
without  serious  injury  to  others.  The  man 
was  an  innocent  man,  and  somehow  this 
author  has  embodied  the  actual  facts 
in  his  tale  with  changed  names  and 
location." 

Mrs.  King  laid  her  book  aside,  and  pre 
pared  to  listen. 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE       93 

"  I  shall  be  interested  to  hear  it,"  she  said. 
'  You  are  such  a  good  reader,  dear,  won't 
you  read  it  aloud?  " 

At  this  moment  a  bell  was  heard. 
'  Yes.  I  hope  that  is  not  an  interrup 
tion.  Well,  it  opens  in  St.  Louis  instead 
of  Syracuse,  and  the  author  has  called  the 
man  Mayfield  instead  of  Fielding.  Very 
well ;  he  begins :  '  There  are  thousands  of 
people- 

This  is  all  we  shall  probably  ever  know 
about  this  story,  for  an  interruption  occurred 
at  that  moment,  and  the  shape  of  it  was 
Gertrude  Doolittle.  She  entered  like  a  gust 
of  wind  when  the  outer  door  is  opened  dur 
ing  a  gale,  running  to  Mrs.  King  and  salut 
ing  her  with  a  kiss. 

"  Oh,  Mrs.  King,"  she  effervescently 
began;  "  I  ran  over  for  a  bit  of  a  chat 
about  Mr.  King." 

"  About  me?  "  inquired  Hiram. 

"  No,  your  brother." 

"What  about  Asa?" 

"  Why,  his  sudden  rise,"  said  Gertrude. 


94     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

"  Rise?  What  has  he  been  doing,  build 
ing  a  flying  machine,  or  been  kicked  by  a 
horse?  " 

"  No,  he'll  never  shoe  any  more  horses,  I 
don't  think." 

Hiram  now  showed  a  genuine  interest. 

"  Why,  Gertrude,  you  alarm  me,  has  any 
thing  happened  to  Asa? " 

"  Well,  I  should  smile.  Hasn't  he  writ 
ten  you? " 

"  Not  a  line  for  six  months." 

"  And  you  didn't  see  it  in  the  papers?  " 

Mrs.  King  began  to  be  impatient. 

"  Child,"  said  she,  "  do  not  keep  us  on  the 
rack;  what  has  happened?  " 

;'  Well  then,  you  know  I  have  been  down- 
east  on  a  vacation,  and  just  returned  yes 
terday?" 

"  Yes." 

"  I  stopped  a  while  at  Uncle  John's  at 
Dixfield,  and  while  there — well,  Asa  King's 
out  of  sight." 

"  Gertrude,  Gertrude,  any  misfortune?  " 
earnestly  inquired  Hiram  King. 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE       95 

"  Nit,"  was  her  slang  reply.  "  It  seems, 
according  to  your  brother's  story,  *  the 
President  swept  the  horizon  '  with  his  eye,— 
a  big  contract,  wasn't  it, — for  a  Consul  to, 
— oh,  Bally-whack,  or  some  such  place,  in 
South  Africa,  and  he  being  the  most  prom 
inent  feature  visible,  the  President's  eye  lit 
on  him,  and  he  has  the  blooming  sinecure, 
and  $3,000  per  year,  and  perqs.  There 
now!  "  And  Gertrude  plumped  down  on  the 
ottoman  with  an  emphasis  that  made  an  im 
pression  on  the  upholstery. 

A  marked  change  came  over  Hiram's 
features  as  she  went  on,  and  from  a  keen  in 
terest  in  Asa's  well-being  to  one  of  decided 
amusement,  the  change  gradually  overcame 
his  countenance. 

He  now  lay  back  in  his  chair,  giving  ex 
pression  to  his  feelings  in  hearty  laughter. 

"Asa  a  Consul!  Well  of  all,—"  which 
was  as  far  as  words  went,  his  mirth  drowning 
them. 

"  I'm  astounded,"  said  Mrs.  King 
seriously. 


96    THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

"  Well,  it  knocked  me  silly,"  said  Gertrude 
with  her  characteristic  slang.  "  I  haven't 
got  over  laughing  yet.  You  should  have 
seen  him  give  a  farewell  reception  one  night. 
Mama!  Daniel  Webster  ain't  in  it."  The 
exuberance  of  Gertrude  knew  no  bounds, 
and  her  vocabulary  of  slang  phrases  was 
unlimited. 

Hiram,  having  quieted  down,  now  re 
marked  : 

"  But  Asa  has  had  no  experience  in  public 
affairs." 

;'  That  doesn't  cut  any  ice.  The  family 
are  all  going,  and  Jim  Bailey, — you  knew 
his  father,  Cy  Bailey? " 

"  Yes." 

"  He's  going  to  be  Private  Secretary  '  of 
State,'  ah-hah." 

"  A  private  secretary,  eh?  " 

'  Yes, — and  the  '  varlet '  as  he  calls  him, 
— he's  a  bird,  wait  till  you  see  him.  He  is 
going  to  take  him  because  his  name  is 
Webster." 

This  was  too  much,  even  for  the  dignified 


THE    MAN   FROM   MAINE       97 

Mrs.  King,  who  joined  her  husband  in  a 
hearty  laugh. 

"  Wait  now," — Gertrude  continued,  "  He 
was  looking  for  a  maid  for  Mrs.  King,  but 
he  was  afraid  he  might  have  to  put  up  with 
a  smart  widder." 

By  this  time  all  three  were  shaken  by  con 
vulsive  laughter,  Hiram  throwing  himself 
back  in  his  chair,  Mrs.  King  holding  her 
sides,  and  Gertrude  with  both  hands  in  the 
air. 

When  Hiram  could  control  himself  suffi 
ciently  to  speak  once  more,  he  repeated : 

"  A  private  secertary,  a  varlet,  and  a  smart 
widder.  It's  too  good.  This  is  better  than 
the  story,  Victoria.  When  do  they  leave?  " 

'  You  may  expect  them  any  time,  as  they 
are  coming  to  stop  with  you  till  they  sail. 
He  asked  me  what  I  thought  the  c  Cas- 
toria '  would  tax  them  for  board  and  lodg 
ing  for  a  week,  if  you  didn't  have  any  spare 
beds." 

This  was  the  signal  for  more  hilarity, 
Gertrude  finally  continuing: 


"  I  was  afraid  I  might  be  too  late,  before 
their  arrival,  to  tell  you." 

Mrs.  King  suddenly  came  to  a  realising 
sense  of  the  situation  and  what  was  to  be 
the  price  paid  for  the  laughter  she  had  so 
far  enjoyed. 

It  is  a  true  saying  that  those  who  dance 
must  pay  the  fiddler.  With  a  look  of  con 
sternation  in  her  face  she  exclaimed: 

"  Coming  here,  all  those  people!  Hiram 
King,  what  have  we  done? " 

With  supreme  good  nature  Hiram  ad 
justed  himself  to  the  situation,  and  without 
a  ruffle  on  the  surface  of  his  calm  features, 
he  replied : 

"  I  have  no  doubt  we  shall  be  able  to  take 
good  care  of  them.  With  all  his  eccentrici 
ties,  Asa  is  an  honest,  noble  fellow,  and  we 
must  make  them  feel  at  home.  Let  me  see, 
there's  Asa,  Maria,  Dan,  and  May;  the 
private  secretary,  and  the  '  varlet.' ' 

'  Yes,"  interrupted  the  irrepressible 
Gertrude,  "wait  till  you  see  him;  he's  a 
cuckoo." 


THE   MAN    FROM   MAINE       99 

"That's  six,"  Hiram  continued.  "Oh, 
well,  we've  plenty  of  room  for  all,  yes,  yes, 
and  welcome." 

"  Certainly,  Hiram,"  Victoria  acquiesced, 
but  reluctantly. 

"  Now  I  must  be  off,"  from  Gertrude. 
"  I  promised  Harry  faithfully  to  be  at  home 
when  he  calls  at  seven-thirty." 

"  Well,  child,  it  is  eight,  now,"  suggested 
Hiram. 

"Oh,  that  doesn't  matter.  He'll  get 
busy  with  a  cigarette  and  the  ivories  in  the 
billiard  room  till  I  show  up." 

'  Very  well  then,  we  expect  some  friends 
in  for  a  bit  of  music  later,  some  sort  of  sug 
gestions  to  be  tried  for  the  amateur  min 
strel  show  they  are  arranging  for  the  coal 
fund  for  the  poor;  won't  you  stop?"  in 
quired  Mr.  King. 

"  No,  thanks,  can't ;  Harry'd  kick." 

At  this  moment  the  door  bell  was  heard 
to  ring,  and  Gertrude  hastily  added: 

'  There's  some  of  your  folks  now.  I'll 
sneak  before  they  come." 


100     THE    MAN   FROM    MAINE 

So  saying  she  snatched  a  hasty  kiss  from 
Mrs.  King,  patted  Mr.  King  on  the  shoulder 
as  she  passed,  with  a  "  bye-bye  "  to  both, 
when  just  as  she  was  about  to  disappear 
through  the  open  entrance,  she  stopped  sud 
denly  enough  to  be  almost  precipitated  for 
ward  upon  her  face. 

A  voice  was  heard  that  suddenly  trans 
fixed  her  in  about  the  attitude  of  the  statue 
on  the  top  of  Madison  Square  Garden,  the 
voice  being  unmistakably  that  of  Asa  King. 

"  Duz  Hiram  King  live  here?  " 

Gertrude  came  back  to  earth,  and  into 
the  apartment. 

"  I've  changed  my  mind,  I'll  stay,"  said 
she. 

"But  Harry?"  Victoria  suggested. 

"  Oh,  bother  Harry.  I'm  going  to  have 
some  fun.  Now  you  watch  the  Consul,  and 
his  '  su-it,'  "  said  Gertrude,  throwing  herself 
into  a  chair  to  await  developments. 


a 


CHAPTER   EIGHT 

LTHOUGH  Hiram  King  by  real 
Yankee  thrift,  honest  principles, 
and  clear  business  perceptions  had 
acted  wisely  in  removing  to  New  York  early 
in  life,  as  was  easily  apparent  from  his  sur 
roundings,  his  history,  and  his  position  of 
high  esteem  among  his  fellow  citizens,  would 
Asa  have  done  as  wisely  had  he  imitated  his 
brother's  example?  The  percheron  is  not 
built  for  racing,  nor  the  locomotive  for  de 
signing  house  plans. 

Both  brothers  were  well  fitted  to  their  sur 
roundings,  and  each  was  happy  in  them.  A 
million  of  dollars  would  not  have  added  one 
pleasure  to  Asa's,  but  doubtless  much  pain 
and  worry;  while  Hiram  could  scarcely  be 
imagined  with  less  to  his  credit,  yet  all  of  this 
he  would  have  shared  with  his  unsophisti 
cated  brother,  were  the  necessity  to  arise. 

The  voice  of  Asa  with  all  its  unpolished 
101 


102     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

naturalness,  possessed  a  music  and  a  charm 
to  Hiram,  that  was  as  sweet  to  his  ears  in 
Fifth  Avenue,  as  it  would  have  possessed  in 
the  village  home  in  Dixfield,  therefore  the 
familiar  tones  fell  upon  his  ears  with  pleas 
ure  unmixed  with  alarm  or  consternation. 

Horace,  the  English  hall  porter,  presently 
appeared  in  the  entrance,  and  with  a  hesitat 
ing  air,  announced : 

"  If  you  please,  sir,  there's  a "  when  he 

was  interrupted  by  the  appearance  of  Asa 
himself,  who  thus  addressed  the  liveried 
attendant : 

"  Much  obleeged,  General,  for  comin'  to 
the  door.  I  s'pose  Hite  was  busy,"  and  as 
he  ventured  this  remark,  his  eye  fell  upon 
the  brother  in  question,  hastening  toward 
him  with  outstretched  arms. 

"  Hello,  Hite,  old  boy,  how  be  ye? "  and 
the  handshaking  and  back-patting  that  fol 
lowed,  was  genuine  in  its  indication  of  true 
brotherly  love.  Asa  then  continued: 

"An'  this  is  your  woman,  ain't  it?"  fol 
lowed  by  a  composite  handshake  that  began 


Hite,  you  know  Maria  ?  " 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE     103 

by  Mrs.  King  holding  her  hand  aloft,  and 
by  a  hearty  grasp  from  Asa  that  brought 
it  at  once  down  to  his  honest  unaffected  level. 

"  Hain't  seen  ye  sence  that  summer  ye  was 
down  to  our  house.  Glad  to  see  ye,  marm. 
Oh,  wait  a  minute!  "  he  suddenly  exclaimed, 
hastening  towards  the  door,  where  with 
a  beckoning  motion  of  the  hand  he  called  on 
Maria  to  "  come  along."  Then  turning  to 
Hiram  and  Victoria  he  added,  as  she 
entered : 

"  Hite,  you  know  Maria?  " 

Hiram  assured  him  that  he  did,  as  also  did 
Mrs.  King ;  who,  by  the  way,  did  not  attempt 
the  elevated  hand-shake  this  time;  instead, 
cordially  asserting  that  she  was  very  glad 
to  see  them  both ;  causing  Gertrude  over  "  on 
the  side,"  to  remark: 

"  Polite  lie,  but  it  goes." 

Asa  again  returned  to  the  entrance,  at  the 
same  time  throwing  over  the  arm  of  Diana, 
his  linen  duster,  and  over  the  right  hand  of 
Venus,  his  hat,  as  he  again  beckoned,  and 
called  joyously: 


104      THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

"  Come  on,  Mary,  Dan,  and  you  fellers, 
we're  all  welcome." 

"  Mercy  me,"  was  Victoria's  quiet  aside 
at  the  thought,  but  Hiram  was  all  cor 
diality,  and  a  prince  of  hospitality,  making 
Asa  feel  entirely  at  his  ease.  He  grasped 
his  brother's  hand  again. 

"  So  you've  come  to  pay  me  a  visit  at  last." 

'  Yes,  but  only  for  a  week,  though.  Ship 
sails  next  Wednesday." 

May  and  Dan  are  now  added  to  the 
group;  the  former,  pretty  as  a  dream  of  a 
fairy,  and  Dan, — well,  Dan  was  Dan, — the 
same  Dan  as  of  yore,  the  overgrown  awk 
ward  boy. 

"  How  do  you  do,  Daniel? "  his  uncle 
greeted  him  with. 

"  Fair  to  middlin'.     How  be  you?  " 

'  Very  well,  thank  you.  Let  me  see,  how 
old  are  you  now?  " 

"  Sixteen." 

"  Bless  me,  what  a  fine  boy !  " 

Gertrude  indulged  in  another  of  her  asides 
at  that, — 


THE    MAX   FROM    MAINE     105 

"Gee,  ain't  he  a  Rube!" 

May  and  Victoria  had  been  getting  along 
during  this,  with  the  utmost  cordiality,  May 
informing  her  aunt  that  she  was  delighted 
to  see  her,  which  was  undoubtedly  true. 

"  And  I  to  see  you,  dear  child." 

Asa  still  at  his  post  of  observation,  now 
called : 

:'  Here,  secertary,  I  want  to  interduce 
ye,"  as  Jim  Bailey  entered  the  room.  Jim 
fitted  the  present  locale  of  this  story,  as 
perfectly  as  a  prince  would  a  royal  levee. 
Well  and  tastefully  dressed,  his  splendid 
figure,  and  refined  manly  features  came 
upon  the  scene  rather  as  a  surprise  to  the 
Hiram  Kings. 

"  Hite,"  said  Asa,  "  this  is  my  Private 
Secertary  of  State.  He  knows  more  things 
than  any  six  men  in  Dixfield,  and  I  guess  I 
could  throw  in  Peru,  Franklin  Plantation 
an'  Tollawolly,  to  boot." 

Jim  paid  little  heed  to  Asa's  honestly 
meant  compliment,  but  shook  the  proffered 
hand  of  Mr.  King  with  perfect  ease  and 


106     THE    MAN    FROM   MAINE 

cordiality,  bowing  gracefully  to  Mrs. 
King. 

Again  Asa  resumed  his  place  at  the 
door. 

"  Here,  varlet,  take  these  things." 

"  Get  on  to  the  varlet,"  said  Gertrude 
aside  to  Victoria. 

"  Sh!  "  was  her  response. 

Asa  was  all  excitement,  and  proceeded  to 
direct  the  disposition  of  his  forces. 

"  Dan,"  said  he,  "  give  Mr.  Webster  yer 
hat  and  rubbers.  Turn  down  yer  pants. 
Rainin'  in  London,  we  heerd  a  feller  say, 
as  we  come  along.  Wonderful,  them  long 
distance  weather  reports.  Secertary,  give 
him  your  traps;  Maria,  your  notions  and 
things ;  Mary,  yer  carpet  bag." 

As  Asa  had  directed,  all  the  impedimenta 
of  the  travellers  had  been  dumped  upon  the 
patient  Webster,  who  stood  as  calmly  until 
all  had  finished,  as  the  little  Mexican  burro 
does  to  be  buried  beneath  his  freight. 

Webster  was  certainly  a  noticeable  object. 
Jim  had  probably  kept  a  restraining  hand 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE     107 

on  Asa's  desire  to  adorn  him  with  braid  and 
buttons.  He  had  been  shaved,  but  his 
beard  being  naturally  of  that  blue-black 
variety  that  requires  two  operations  daily, 
he,  at  any  time,  would  have  passed  for  the 
ghost  of  Captain  Kidd,  or  some  of  his 
fraternity. 

Opportunities  for  preliminary  training 
and  practice  drill  not  having  been  abundant 
with  Webster,  his  knowledge  of  "  what  to 
do,"  was  limited,  consequently  the  easiest 
thing  to  do,  was  the  proper  one  in  his  estima 
tion,  accordingly  one  by  one  these  articles 
were  attached  to  the  persons  of  Diana  and 
Venus,  the  former  thus  adding  to  her  outfit 
a  rifle,  also  a  variety  of  wraps  and  parcels, 
while  Venus  appeared  for  the  first  time  in 
public  with  a  pair  of  gum  shoes,  a  green  cot 
ton  umbrella,  and  a  picture  hat. 

Hiram  looked  at  his  watch. 

"  It's  now  about  eight-thirty.  We  have 
had  dinner,  have  you?  " 

"  Oh,  yes,"  promptly  replied  Asa. 

'  Very  well.     We  shall  have  some  supper 


108     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

about  ten,  or  ten-thirty,  but  if  you  are 
hungry,—  '  Hiram  continued. 

Asa  had  pulled  Jim's  sleeve. 

"  Here,  secertary,"  he  said,  "  make  a  note, 
— supper  in  high  society  at  ten- thirty." 

Jim  made,  or  pretended  to  make  notes. 
Dan,  he  of  the  molasses  candy,  now 
butted  in. 

"  Marm,  can  I  get  up  to  supper?"  Dan 
could  always  be  depended  upon. 

"  Shut  up,"  was  Mrs.  King's  mimeo 
graphed,  ready-at-all-times  reply,  short, 
sharp  and  convincing, — for  the  moment. 
Mrs.  King  had  been  strangely  silent  up  to 
this  time. 

Asa  now  appeared  to  be  a  little  puzzled, 
and  not  standing  in  the  least  awe  of  his  dis 
tinguished  relative,  inquired, — 

"Dinner  at  twelve,  supper  at  ten-thirty. 
Say  Hite,  ye  don't  make  that  jump  at  one 
fell  swoop,  do  ye,  'thout  a  snack  of  anything 
between  meals,  do  ye?  " 

Hiram  laughed  good-naturedly  as  he 
explained. 


"  I  forgot,  we  dine  at  five  o'clock." 

"  Same  time  Napoleon  did,  by  hokey. 
Now  I  say  Vict'ry,  can't  them  women  folks 
be  packed  off  to  their  rooms  to  spruce  up  a 
bit? " 

"  Certainly,  by  all  means." 

Asa,  not  to  lose  any  chance,  nudged 
Maria's  elbow,  cautioning  her  quietly  to 
"  watch  this  now." 

Victoria  struck  a  little  Japanese  gong  on 
a  table,  and  presently  Horace  appeared. 

"  Horace,"  directed  Victoria,  "  show  Mrs. 
King  and  her  daughter  upstairs,  and  tell 
Janet  to  see  them  comfortable  in  the  pink 
suite." 

Asa  continued  to  direct  Maria. 

"  Did  ye  see  how  that  was  did?  Jest  as 
easy, — we  must  have  some  of  them  pink 
things,  too."  Then  calling  Webster,  who 
responded  with  a  military  salute,  and  "  here, 
Guv'nor,"  he  said,— 

"  Assist  the  general  with  them  notions 
and  things." 

As  Victoria  was  showing  very  kindly  in- 


110     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

terest  in  Maria,  the  latter  assured  her,  she 
was  "  that  fagged  out  by  them  cars  I  hardly 
know  which  end  my  head  is  on,"  to  which 
Victoria  replied  that  she  would  soon  recover 
from  her  fatigue,  whereupon  Maria  King 
and  May  withdrew  from  the  apartment  fol 
lowed  by  Horace  and  Webster  with  the 
Diana  and  Venus  relief  impedimenta. 

"  Dan,  you  and  Jim  can  go  out  to  the 
woodshed,  and  shake  the  dust  off,  then  Dan, 
you  go  and  wash  the  soot  out'n  your  ears, 
and  don't  you  black  the  roller  towel  all  up, 
nuther,"  were  Asa's  instructions.  "I  want 
to  talk  with  Kite." 

'  Victoria,"  said  Hiram,  "  will  you  kindly 
speak  to  Catherine  or  Annie,  and  tell  her  to 
show  them  their  apartments?  George  is 
away  this  evening." 

"  Certainly,  dear.  Come  Daniel,  and 
Mr.  Bailey.  Gertrude,  won't  you  please 
wait  for  me  in  the  small  reception-room,  I 
will  join  you  in  a  moment?  " 

"  Cert,"  was  the  incisive  reply,  which  in 
struction  she  immediately  carried  into  effect ; 


THE    MAN    FROM   MAINE     111 

at  the  same  time  Mrs.  King  retired  to  direct 
Dan  and  Jim  Bailey  to  their  apartments. 

Asa  was  now  left  alone  with  his  brother, 
the  successful  blacksmith  and  the  successful 
financier  and  statesman.  To  estimate  the 
size  of  the  two  men  by  the  size  of  the  puddles 
in  which  they  swam,  Asa  was  the  greater 
man,  for  he  was  looked  upon  as  the  wealth 
iest,  as  well  as  the  most  distinguished  in  his 
community,  while  there  were  many  richer 
men  in  New  York  than  Hiram,  and  of 
greater  present  importance,  but  the  same 
honest  qualities  were  to  be  found  in  each  of 
the  brothers,  the  one  crude,  the  other  pol 
ished  and  refined. 

Asa  took  a  general  look  around  at  the 
grand  apartment  in  which  he  was  a  welcome 
guest,  and  then  at  Hiram,  who  was  standing 
watching  him  with  a  pleased  expression, 
waiting  to  hear  what  he  would  say. 

"  Fine  place  ye  got  here,  Hite.  If  it  ain't 
bein'  too  inquisitive,  what  do  ye  pay  fur  hat- 
racks  like  them? "  indicating  the  Diana  and 
Venus. 


112     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

"  I  paid  five  thousand  dollars  for  the 
two,"  said  Hiram. 

"Sho!    Fivethous— No!" 

"  Yes,  Asa." 

"  Five  thousand  dollars?  Well  I  swanny! 
Didn't  no  clothes  come  with  'em?  " 

"  No." 

"  Hain't  nobody  presented  no  set  of  reso 
lutions  'ginst  'em?  "  Asa  pursued. 

"  Never."     Hiram  laughed. 

"That  beats  all!  Squire  Doolittle  down 
to  our  town,  went  to  the  Centennial  Exhibi 
tion  in  Philadelphia,  with  Harriet,  and  he 
tells  me  there  was  a  statoo  there  by  the  name 
of  '  Love  Blinds,'  and  the  woman  didn't 
have  so  much  as  a  necktie  on,  and  a  little 
naked  boy  was  settin'  on  her  shoulder,  all 
the  time  he  was  there.  Squire  was  there 
three  days,  and  he  says  he  saw  that  statoo 
regularly  eight  times  a  day.  He  says  he 
allowed  intervals  of  fifteen  minutes  be 
tween,  in  which  to  see  the  rest  of  the 
show,  and  ten  minutes  for  refresh 
ments." 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE     113 

"  Art  is  wonderfully  attractive,"  said 
Hiram. 

"  Guess  ye're  about  right  there,  but  natur 
gits  me  every  time.  That's  mighty  nice 
paper,  Hite,"  Asa  added  as  he  ran  his  hand 
over  a  portion  of  the  wall. 

'  Yes,  it  will  do,  I  guess,"  laughed 
Hiram. 

Asa  now  returned  to  Hiram,  and  while 
looking  admiringly  at  him,  continued. 

"  Great  doin's  ain't  they,  Hite?  I'm  goin' 
to  interduce  all  the  American  idees  I  can 
into  Boolahackentula.  Jim  has  ben  postin' 
me,  and  I  want  to  take  some  of  the  stun- 
ninest  funicher  I  can  find.  S'pose  I  can 
git  a  set  like  this? " 

'  Why,  yes,  you  may  have  this  one,  I  will 
give  it  to  you,  Asa.  I  want  a  change." 

"You  don't  mean  it!" 

'  Yes,  but  you  haven't  told  me,  Asa. 
Miss  Doolittle  told  us  something,  but  not 
clearly.  What  has  happened,  and  where  are 
you  going?  Sit  down." 

"I  didn't,  did  I?     Forgot  all  about  it. 


114     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

You  see  the  President  selected  me  out  of  all 
the  folks  he  knew,  to  be  his  representative  in 
South  Africa.  He  said  he  wanted  a  man 
from  Maine,  the  old  Pine  Tree  State,  and  I 
s'pose  I  filled  the  bill." 

"  No  doubt  you  will,  if  he  wants  honesty 
and  earnestness."  Hiram  assured  his 
brother. 

"  Jes'  so.  Ye  see  it's  in  the  track  of  com 
merce,  a  sort  of  half-way  house  on  the  road 
to  India,  and  he  wants  a  man  of  will  and 
determination  to  raise  Ned  there  the  minute 
any  of  them  effete  fellers  snaps  his  fingers 
under  the  beak  of  the  American  Eagle.  I 
can  call  on  the  whole  goll  darned  navy  to 
back  me  up,  if  wust  comes  to  wust." 

"  Hope  you  will  not  have  any  trouble, 
Asa." 

"  No,  I  aint  lookin'  for  trouble,  but  they 
needn't  think  they  can  pull  the  wool  over 
their  Uncle  Samuel's  eyes,  not  if  the  court 
knows  itself.  I'll  show  'em  how  we  do 
things." 

'  You  ought  to  see  me  in  my  Court  dress. 


THE    MAN   FROM    MAINE     115 

I've  ben  readin'  all  over  again,  the  life  of 
Daniel  Webster,  an'  I  find  he  allus  wore  the 
very  same  things  I've  got."  Asa  was  get 
ting  enthusiastic. 

"  Wonderful!  "  exclaimed  his  brother. 

"  And  Maria, — she'll  be  a  pictur.  I 
s'pose  Dan  and  Mary  '11  be  about  equal  to 
crown  princes  over  there.  Say,  Hite,  I'm 
drier  'n  a  contribution  box,  where's  the 
pump? "  and  Asa  was  about  to  rise  to  look 
for  that  very  necessary  adjunct  of  his  village 
home. 

"  Sit  still,"  Hiram  said,  placing  one  hand 
upon  the  top  of  the  ottoman,  which  action 
resulted  in  the  tinkling  of  a  bell  outside. 
"  Horace  will  get  some  water  for  you." 

Horace  now  appearing,  he  was  directed  to 
bring  some  ice-water. 

'  Them  bells  is  great  things,  ain't  they 
Hite?  I'm  goin'  to  hitch  one  of  them  on 
my  varlet." 

"  I  would  call  him  valet,  Asa,"  suggested 
Hiram. 

;'  Well,  ye  see  he  ain't  of  much  vally,  I 


116      THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

kinder  took  to  him,  that's  all.  Napoleon,  the 
Fust  Consul  had  one,  and  that  sort  of  set 
the  fashion.  He  seemed  necessary  to  my 
su-su-it." 

"  Suite,  Asa,"  was  Hiram's  quiet 
prompting. 

"  Yes,  my  dear  brother,  I  know  'twas 
kinder  good  of  me,  but  I  can  make  him  use 
ful,  sawin'  wood,  brushin'  my  coat,  holdin' 
bosses  and  such  like  chores.  Thank  ye,  gen 
eral,"  said  Asa,  the  latter  remark  being  ad 
dressed  to  Horace,  who  had  returned  with  a 
silver  tray,  a  carafe  of  clear  water,  a  glass 
with  a  large  piece  of  ice  in  it,  and  silver  ice 
tongs. 

Asa  immediately  appropriated  the  carafe, 
and  Hiram  probably  fearing  that  the  un 
sophisticated  Asa  might  drink  from  it  direct, 
suddenly  interrupted  the  action  by  saying: 

"  Horace,  pour  some  water  for  my 
brother." 

Horace,  whose  astonishment  knew  no 
bounds,  took  the  bottle  and  did  as  directed  by 
Mr.  King,  afterward  presenting  it  on  the 


THE   MAN   FROM   MAINE     117 

tray  to  Asa,  who  raised  it  to  his  lips,  but  on 
account  of  the  superabundance  of  ice  he 
could  not  drink. 

"  So  much  ice  I  can't  git  no  water,"  he 
explained. 

Hiram  again  came  to  the  rescue. 

!<  Horace,  remove  some  of  the  ice,  and  be 
more  careful." 

The  little  silver  tongs  were  at  once 
brought  into  use  by  the  servant,  the  super 
fluous  ice  removed,  Asa  emptying  the  glass 
almost  at  a  swallow. 

"  Much  obleeged,  general.  That's  mighty 
good  water,  Hite.  I  didn't  s'pose  they  had 
as  good  water  as  that  outside  of  the  State  of 
Maine.  Got  a  spring  on  the  place?  " 

"  No,  that's  Poland  Water." 

"Sho!  You  don't  tell  me!  I  didn't 
know  they  piped  it  as  fur  as  this." 

Hiram  laughed  heartily. 

"  No,  Asa,  we  get  it  in  glass  bottles." 

"  Guess  I'll  take  some  of  that  along  with 
me.  I'm  goin'  to  take  a  lot  of  things,  a 
telephone,  a  piano,  sewin'  machine,  rat-trap 


118 

and  a  gun.  Didn't  know  but  I  might  want 
to  go  gunnin'  'tween  receptions,  ye  know. 
S'pose  you  don't  git  no  gunnin'  here?  " 

"  Not  much,  only  bulls  and  bears." 

"  You  don't  say  so !  They're  good 
shootin',  'specially  ef  they're  huntin'  you." 

"  They  predominate  in  Wall  Street.  We 
do  not  see  them  much  up  this  way,"  Hiram 
explained. 

;<  Keep  'em  behind  a  wall,  eh!  Can't  they 
git  out?" 

"  Oh  yes,  they  can,  and  by  the  looks  of  the 
ticker,  I  guess  there  are  a  lot  of  them  out 
to-day." 

"  Now,  Hite,  I'd  like  to  go  up  and  go  to 
bed,  so  's  to  have  a  little  nap  before,  supper," 
said  Asa  rising;  Hiram  immediately  fol 
lowing  his  example. 

"  All  right,  Asa." 

"  I  s'pose  you  don't  blow  a  horn  for  sup 
per,  same  's  we  used  to  on  the  farm?  " 

"  No,  Horace  will  call  you  if  you  wish  at 
ten." 

"Have  you  got  any  mutton  taller?     I'd 


THE    MAN   FROM    MAINE     119 

like  to  grease  my  boots,  and  put  'em  by  the 
kitchen  fire." 

"  Leave  them  outside  your  door,  and  they 
shall  be  attended  to." 

"  All  right,  I'll  be  down  to  supper,"  and 
with  this  final  remark  he  disappeared,  leav 
ing  Hiram  watching  his  ascent  of  the  stairs. 

"  Room  straight  at  the  head  of  the  stairs," 
he  called  after  him,  and  returned  laughing. 

"  Dear  innocent  Asa.  I  would  give  a 
thousand  dollars  to  see  him  in  his  official 
capacity.  Dear  old  boy." 


CHAPTER   NINE 

'LTHOUGH  Hiram  had  the 
highest  regard  for  his  brother, 
and  would  have  resented  laughter 
at  his  expense  on  the  part  of  others,  it  was 
beyond  his  power  to  prevent  his  own,  and 
even  while  laughing  at  his  oddities,  his  ad 
miration  for  his  good  qualities  was  not  one 
whit  the  less. 

Hiram  had  no  sooner  left  the  drawing- 
room,  than  Gertrude  Doolittle  re-entered  it. 
There  certainly  was  no  effort  on  her  part 
to  bottle  up  any  of  her  effervescent  spirits, 
consequently  they  sizzed  and  bubbled  over. 

"Oh,  mama!"  she  exclaimed,  "Those 
Zulus  won't  do  a  thing  to  those  jays.  They 
won't  toast  them  on  a  spear  or  nothing,  to 
a  pizzicato  andante  on  the  tom-tom.  U-m 
Nit!  Gee,  wouldn't  I  like  to  take  that 
bunch  to  see  the  living  pictures." 

As  Gertrude  reached  this  climax  of  her 
120 


THE   MAN   FROM   MAINE     121 

youthful  imagination,  Asa  was  seen  enter 
ing,  at  the  same  time  glancing  over  the  floor 
as  he  came. 

He  was  now  in  his  shirt-sleeves  and  stock 
ing-feet. 

"  I  come  back,"  he  said,  "  'cos  I  lost  a  but 
ton  oif'n  my  galluses.  Hain't  seen  nothin' 
of  no  button  'bout  here,  hev  ye,  Miss  Doo- 
little? " 

"  Nope." 

"  Big  horn  button,  like  them,"  and  he 
raised  one  side  of  his  vest  to  indicate  the  size 
of  the  stray  button.  "  A  summer  girl  what 
boarded  down  our  way,  give  me  um  off  her 
coat." 

"  Haven't  see  it,"  Gertrude  repeated. 

"  I  don't  vally  it  so  much  for  the  horn 
as  's  in  it,  but  it's  mighty  useful  in  its  place. 
Say,  Sis,  do  the  folks  eat  in  the  kitchen  here, 
or  how? " 

"Not  on  your  life!  What's  the  matter 
with  the  dining-room?  " 

"  Darned  if  I  know.  Do  they  hev  a  room 
jest  for  eatin'  in?  " 


"Betyer!" 

"Nothin'buteatin'in?" 

"  Sure,  Mike." 

"  Don't  keep  a  sewin'  machine,  a  parlour 
organ,  or  even  a  grin'stone  in  it?  " 

"  No,  they  don't  have  grin'stones  here,  Mr. 
King." 

"  Don't  hev  a  grin'stone!  How  in  thunder 
do  they  grind  their  scythes?  " 

At  this  moment,  Horace,  the  hall  porter, 
passed  through,  but  not  before  Asa  had 
hailed  him  with, — 

"  Hullo,  say, — look  here,  general.  I 
guess  I'm  kinder  green  'bout  city  ways,  so 
I  wish  you'd  set  next  to  me  to  supper,  so  's 
to  nudge  me,  see,  when  I  put  my  foot  in  it." 

"  Hi  'd  be  werry  'appy,  sir,  but  hi  don't 
heat  in  the  dining-room,"  was  Horace's 
amused  reply. 

"Sho!"  exclaimed  Asa,  "Well,  I'd  a 
thunderin'  sight  ruther  eat  in  the  kitchen  my 
self.  Wall,  I  must  go  and  lay  down  or  I 
won't  git  up  in  time  for  supper."  Then,  as 
he  looked  once  more  over  the  floor,  he  added, 


THE    MAN   FROM   MAINE     123 

"  Sorry  I  lost  that  button,  they  ain't  goin' 
to  make  no  more  of  'em,  I  hear  tell,"  and  the 
half  innocent,  half  jollying  old  soul,  was  lost 
to  sight  once  more,  leaving  Gertrude  and 
Horace  to  express  their  emotions  each  in 
their  own  way.  The  humour  of  the  situa 
tion  was  only  just  beginning  to  filter 
through  Horace's  slow  perceptions;  but  in 
filtration  was  not  a  feature  of  Gertrude's 
brain,  which  was  as  receptive  as  sticky  fly 
paper. 

"  Blast  my  blooming  heyes,"  said  Horace. 
'  This  is  the  rummest  go  hi  ever  hex- 
perienced." 

There  was  a  ring  once  more  at  the  door 
bell.  '  Wonder  hif  it's  more  jays,"  he  said, 
and  proceeded  to  investigate,  as  Mrs.  King 
re-entered  the  apartment,  finding  Gertrude 
doing  physical  culture  acts  in  her  convulsive 
glee. 

'  Talk  about  circuses,  comic  operas,  and 
farce  comedies,  they  aren't  in  it  with  the 
naked  truth,"  she  exclaimed,  with  Delsar- 
tean  gesticulation. 


124     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

"  But  be  careful,  Gertrude,"  admonished 
Victoria,  "  we  must  treat  them  with  re 
spect." 

"  I'm  fly  enough  for  that.  We  were 
taught  deportment  right  up  to  the  scratch  at 
Vassar." 

Horace  appeared  and  announced: 

"  Mr.  West  and  Mrs.  Gay."  They  fol 
lowed  the  announcement  at  once,  when 
greetings  between  the  four  ensued  in  the 
conventional  manner. 

West,  languidly,  and  in  an  imitation 
English  swell  manner,  was  the  first  to 
speak. 

"  Evening,  Mrs.  King,  how  do,  Miss  Doo- 
little,"  sparing  this  from  his  limited  vo 
cabulary. 

"  Nicely,  thanks.  Mr.  King  will  be  here 
presently,"  Victoria  replied. 

"  Perfectly  delightful  evening,"  from 
Mrs.  Gay.  "  How's  Harry,  Gert?  " 

"Don't  know,  haven't  seen  him  since, — 
four  o'clock."  Then  with  a  slight  curtsey 
and  an  air  of  mock  seriousness,  added: 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE     125 

"  Mr.  King's  got  company." 

"  Now  behave  yourself,  Gertrude,"  ad 
monished  Mrs.  King,  adding  in  explanation, 
"  Mr.  King's  brother,  and— 

"  Su-it,"  came  like  a  torpedo,  from  the 
irrepressible  Gertrude. 

"  And    family,     from    the    country, — 
Mrs.   King  continued  with  an  attempt  at 
seriousness ;  "  but  I  think  they  have  retired." 

"  I  saw  the  '  varlet '  sneak  out  of  the 
kitchen  door  a  little  while  ago,"  said  Ger 
trude,  "  with  a  tomato  can  in  his  hand." 

"  Bless  me,  how  very  odd,"  said  Mrs. 
King. 

"  Isn't  it.  One  might  mistake  him  for 
a  hobo." 

"  Ah,  here  comes  Mr.  King,"  exclaimed 
Mrs.  Gay,  as  Hiram  entered  the  room. 

"  Good-evening,  Mrs.  Gay,  good-evening, 
Mr.  West.  How's  Rock  Island  to-day? " 
Hiram  inquired. 

"  Really,  Mr.  King,  I've  been  too  busy 
to  look,  don't  you  know.  I  had  an  hour  at 
my  dentist's,  beastly  slow  fellow;  an  hour 


126     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

at  the  manicurist's,  which  really  should  have 
been  two,  and  a  Turkish  bath,  and  a  trifling 
walk  on  the  avenue,  then  lunching  and  din-  , 
ing,  there  you  are,"  was  Mr.  West's  very 
lucid  account  of  his  day. 

"Aren't  you  fatigued?"  inquired  Ger 
trude,  with  a  drawl. 

"Of  course  you  are  prepared  with  the 
song  you  promised  us,  for  the  charity  bene 
fit?"  Mrs.  King  inquired,  as  all  became 
seated. 

"  Oh,  quite.  I'm  not  a  Sims  Reeves,  but 
I  can  warble  a  few  notes  like  a  bird." 

'  Yes,   you're   a   lark,"   interposed   Ger 
trude.     "  Well,  let's  have  the  song." 

'  Victoria,  dear,  will  you  accompany  Mr. 
West?  "  Mr.  King  inquired. 

"  Delighted,  I'm  sure.  Have  you  the 
music,  Mr.  West? " 

"  Certainly." 

"Mercy,  it's  a  coon  song!"  exclaimed 
Mrs.  King  in  surprise. 

'  Yes,  they're  all  the  rage,  you  know." 
'  Very   well,    proceed,"    and    Mr.    West 


THE    MAN   FROM    MAINE     127 

"  proceeded  "  to  illustrate  the  darkey  dia 
lect,  through  the  medium  of  a  pronounced 
dandy,  which  was  about  as  wide  of  the  mark 
as  a  French  chanteuse  of  the  boulevards. 

I  tell  yo',  Washington  White, 
No  coon  hain't  got  no  sight 
To  a-gittin'  me 
Till  I  kin  see 
De  colour  ob  his  cash. 
Dat  coon  mus'   hab   a   yot, 
An'  sides,  he's  got  ter  got 
A  big  dollar  watch,  an'  he's  got  to  fotch, 
Me  ebery  new  moon,  a  big  fat  coon, 
An'  a  coon  dat  he  done  kotch; 
He'sef,  Wash  White. 

An*  what's  mo/  Washington  White, 

'Tain't  no  use  for  to  write 

Me  no  billy  doos  nice, 

'Cos  dey  don't  cut  ice, 

An'  I  ain't  on  no  mash. 

Go  coff  up  a  sealskin  sack, 

Jes'  made  fer  to  fit  dis  back; 

Git  a  safety  wheel,  an'  a  ottymobile, 

An'  a  dimun  pin,  dat'll  scotch  yo'  chin, 

'Cos  I  don't  want  no  tar  heel; 

Yo'  hear,  Wash  White? 


128      THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

Furthermore,  Washington  White, 
I  ain't  white  trash,  dat's  right. 
But  I'm  out  fer  de  dough, 
An'  a  big  pile,  so; 
'Cos  dis  chicken  ain't  eatin'  hash. 
I  ain't  takin'  floo's  in  ter  wash; 
An'  you  kain't  gib  me  no  josh, 
'Cos  I  ain't  built  that  way,  an'  wha's 

dat  yo'  say? 
Won  de  lot'ry  prize,  ob  de  biggest  size? 

Go  long,  Wash  White; 
Yo's  a  dandy  nigger,  Wash,  an'  de  slickest 

in  de  bunch; 
It's  nuthin'  less  den  champagne,  coon,  an' 

chicken  fer  our  lunch. 

Gee  whizz.  Wash  White! 

Such  was  Mr.  West's  song,  and  about  as 
inappropriately  rendered  as  it  was  possible, 
yet  to  one  who  appreciated  the  utter  absurd 
ity  of  the  foppish  rendition,  it  might  have 
been  excruciatingly  funny,  especially  with 
the  attempt  at  a  Cakewalk  that  Mr.  West 
concluded  his  offering  with. 

About  the  beginning  of  the  second 
stanza,  "  things  happened  "  not  on  the  pro- 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE     129 

gram,  and  not  exactly  to  be  anticipated.  At 
that  time  Asa  King  had  appeared  in  the  en 
trance,  dressed  as  we  saw  him  last.  As  those 
in  the  drawing-room  were  seated,  he  was 
wholly  unperceived,  and  as  West  proceeded 
Asa  beckoned  vigorously,  whereupon  Maria 
appeared,  then  in  turn  May,  Dan,  and  Jim, 
Dan  with  his  jacket  in  his  hand. 

At  the  close  of  the  song,  the  gallery,  con 
sisting  of  Asa,  Maria,  and  Dan,  laughed 
heartily  and  applauded  vigorously,  while 
May  and  Jim  conducted  themselves  with 
more  decorum. 

Very  naturally,  attention  was  directed  at 
once  to  the  newcomers,  Mrs.  Gay  and  West 
appearing  quite  unprepared  for  this  inva 
sion,  while  Miss  Doolittle  was  seized  with 
an  uncontrollable  fit  of  laughter. 

"  Come  in,  Asa,"  called  Hiram,  always 
ready  to  make  the  best  of  everything; 
"  Come  in,  all  of  you;  sit  down,  and  enjoy 
yourselves." 

Mrs.  Gay  having  evidently  arrived  at  a 
conclusion,  now  remarked: 


130      THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

"  Well,  Mrs.  King,  if  this  isn't  a  surprise! 
What's  the  name  of  the  play?  Where  are 
the  programs? " 

Mrs.  King  politely  requested  her,  aside,  to 
be  quiet,  but  Mrs.  Gay  persisted: 

"  But " 

'  These  are  our  relatives,  and  friends, 
Hiram's  brother  and  family,  Mr.  West  and 
Mrs.  Gay." 

Each  acknowledged  the  introduction  in 
some  form,  when  Asa  waved  one  hand,  and 
exclaimed : 

"  Go  on  with  the  show.  We  Had  a  troupe 
down  to  our  town  once,  in  Marble's  Hall,  but 
the  funny  man  wa'n't  a  patch  to  you 
sir." 

This  created  more  laughter,  this  time  at 
West's  expense,  who  bore  it  coolly.  Mrs. 
King  now  endeavoured  to  change  the  subject 
by  inquiring: 

"  Florence,  did  you  bring  your  costume 
for  your  dance? " 

"  Yes,  but " 

"  Trot   it   out,"    burst    from    Gertrude. 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE      131 

"  Give  us  the  dance.  Have  some  fun — go 
ahead." 

"  All  right,  where  shall  I  go?  " 

"  Into  my  reception  parlour,"  replied  Vic 
toria,  as  Mrs.  Gay  retired.  Mr.  King  now 
turned  to  Gertrude  with : 

"  Come,  Gertrude,  where  are  you?  Won't 
you  favour  us?  " 

"  I  only  know  frothy  things,"  said  she. 

;<  Well,"  said  Asa,  "  give  us  a  frothy 
thing.  Secertary,  make  a  note  of  these 
things  for  our  secret  memoors,"  he  added  to 
Jim. 

"  Go  on,  Gertrude,  I'm  ready,"  said  Vic 
toria,  when  Gertrude,  with  rare  vaudeville 
skill  sang  and  acted  the  following  topical 
song: 

A  youth  and  maiden  blonde, 
Were  sailing  on  a  pond; 
As  the  moon  upon  the  wave 
Made   a   silvery   sloppy   pave 

Not  good  to  walk  on. 
With  one  hand  the  stars  he  traced, 
While  the  other  went  to  waist, 


And  the   maiden   feebly   cried, 
What  ho !  my  laddy : 

What  ho !  what  ho !  what  ho !  my  laddy  boy : 
You  really  must  be  careful,  or  I  shall  cry 

for,— joy. 
I  know  help  is  not  your  need, 

Your  arm  is  strong  indeed, 
So  what's  the  use  of  ho's,  my  laddy  boy, 
my  laddy? 

Another  summer's  sun, 
The  maiden  had  been  won; 
And  their  cottage  by  the  sea 
Had  a  lawn  so  velvetee 

'Twas  good  to  walk  on. 
Then  her  tears  of  joy  fell  fast, 
On  the  greensward  as  they  passed, 
Till  there  was  no  need  of  lawn  hose,  there, 

my  laddie. 
What  hose;   what   hose;   what   hose,  my 

laddy  boy, 
Could  irrigate  with  living  dew,  like  the 

tears  of  joy? 
The  flowers  beneath  her  feet, 

Sprung  up,  their  queen  to  greet, 
So  what's  the  use  of  hose,  my  laddy  boy, 

my  laddy? 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE      133 

Another  twelvemonth  gone, 

The  clothes  line  Monday  morn, 

Told  a  story  without  words,  of  a  nest  with 

four  birds, 

And  things  to  walk  on. 
For  the  baby's  tiny  socks, 
Papa's  half  hose,  mama's  clocks, 
Hung  with  grandma's  outsize  hose, 

My  patient  laddy. 
What   hose;   what   hose;   what  hose,   my 

laddy  boy, 
Brings  gladness  to  the  daddy  heart, 

The  outsize,  or  the  toy? 
But  the  bare  and  chubby  feet,  are  to  mama 

doubly  sweet, 
So  what's  the  use  of  hose,  my  laddy  boy, 

my  laddy? 

Gertrude  received  most  generous  applause 
at  the  conclusion  of  her  song,  and  from  none 
more  than  from  Asa,  who  appeared  to  es 
pecially  appreciate  it. 

'  That's  good,  that's  good.  Mary,  we 
must  have  that  in  our  itinerary." 

This  being  about  as  inopportune  a  time 
as  possible,  Dan  came  to  the  surface  with: 


134      THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

"  Marm,  ain't  it  'most  supper  time?  " 

"  Shut  up !  Don't  ye  know  when  ye're  in 
high  society?  "  was  the  characteristic  up-go- 
the-shutters  reply  of  his  mother. 

Mr.  West  wished  to  know  of  Miss  Doo- 
little,  where  she  got  that  song,  to  which  Ger 
trude  made  answer  with  a  demure  look: 

"  Tony  Pastor's." 

Asa  was  what  might  be  termed  "  a  good 
audience,"  for,  had  he  been  present  at  a  real 
vaudeville  performance,  every  comedian  in 
the  bill  would  have  played  directly  to  him,  he 
was  so  receptive.  Such  people  in  an  audi 
ence  are  the  delight  of  the  actor,  who  flatters 
himself  that  he  has  a  humorous  act  to 
present. 

"  Say,  Hite,"  said  Asa,  "  do  you  recollect 
that  song  we  boys  use'  to  sing,  hayin'  time?  " 

"  Not  perfectly ;  it  has  escaped  me.  Hum 
it  a  bit." 

"  Somethin'  like  this,"  and  he  began  some 
what  diffidently  at  first,  but  as  he  proceeded, 
put  all  the  fire  and  vigour  of  youth  into  it. 


THE   MAN    FROM    MAINE      135 

I  remember  the  time  when  we  raised  the  new  barn, 
And  the  dance  that  we  had  later  on,  by  goll  darn; 
How   old  Wheeler,  the   fiddler,  he   scraped   as   he'd 

call, 
"  Ladies,   grand   chain,"   turn,   turn,   tummy,   tummy, 

turn,  turn. 
"  All  shassey,"   down   the  hall,  lummy  turn  tummy, 

turn,  turn,  turn. 

Then  old  Peter  Chase  would  "  balance  to  pard," 
And  cut  pigeon  wings,  'till  the  mow  timbers  jarred; 
And    Mandy    Ann    Simmons'    little    curls   would    all 

jiggle 
As   Pete   swung   her   to   place,   and   made   the   girls 

giggle- 
Then  Wheeler,  he  says,  "  now  all  promenade," 
And  they  did,  to  the  tie-up,  and  had  lemonade. 
Gee-whizz,  wa'n't  it  fine,  an'  don't  I  recall,  the  gal 
I  stuck  clus  to,  the  whole  of  that  ball. 

Ri-tu-ral,  li-tu-ral,  ri-tu-ral-li-lay. 

Then  I  also  remember  in  June,  hoin'  corn, 

With  my  hands  jest  as  hard  as  a  piece  of  old  horn; 

How  I  wanted  to  quit,  and  go  fishin'  that  day, 

But  dad  kept  on  hoin'  an'  I  had  to  stay. 

I  said  that  my  head  ached,  and  back  ached,  and  toes; 

But  daddy  said  hoin'  was  good  for  all  those; 


136     THE   MAN   FROM    MAINE 

So  I  grunted,  and  looked  from  the  pond  to  the  cloud, 
And  soon  it  was  raining,  so  I  says  aloud, — 
"  Of  course  you  won't  hoe  any  more  corn  to-day, 
Le's  go  home,  'cos  this  shower  is  comin'  to  stay; 
The  fish  would  bite  well,  le's  go,  daddy,  do." 
"  You  keep  on  hoin',  an'  they  won't  bite  you." 
Ri-tu-ral,  li-tu-ral,  ri-tu-ral-li-lay. 


CHAPTER    TEN 

SA  had  certainly  made  a  great  hit, 
and  it  would  have  taken  a  skilled 
artist  of  the  vaudeville  stage  to 
have  given  even  as  good  a  rendition  as  he 
did. 

The  calls  for  the  figures,  and  the  steps 
themselves,  were  faithfully  imitated,  the 
song  concluding  with  a  genuinely  spontane 
ous  burst  of  applause  from  the  entire  as 
semblage. 

Asa  bore  his  "  blushing  honours  thick 
upon  him,"  and  numerous  and  compli 
mentary  were  the  remarks  from  each,  in 
noisy  chorus. 

When  this  had  subsided,  Mrs.  Gay  peeped 
in  from  Mrs.  King's  reception-room,  and 
inquired  if  all  were  ready,  receiving  a  reply 
in  the  affirmative,  and  that  she  was  to  pro 
ceed.  Victoria  played  an  introduction,  when 
Mrs.  Gay  entered  in  dancing  costume,  such 

137 


138     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

as  that   usually   worn   by   so-called   skirt- 
dancers. 

The  colouring  was  such,  that  when  the 
folds  were  extended  and  held  high  above  her 
head  on  each  side,  the  voluminous  material 
bore  very  faithful  resemblance  to  a  butter- 

fly- 

Her  limbs  were  encased  in  yellow  silk 
tights,  with  numerous  bands  of  varying 
colours,  while  on  the  head  she  wore  a  head 
dress  made  to  resemble  that  of  the  butterfly, 
the  eyes  composed  of  two  immense  diamonds 
that  sparkled  in  the  brilliant  light. 

Her  dance,  which  can  hardly  be  classified 
as  such,  but  more  properly  designated  as 
evolutions,  was  graceful  and  artistic  in  the 
extreme.  She  posed  in  many  graceful  posi 
tions,  ran  light  as  a  butterfly  from  one  object 
to  another,  sprang  upon  chairs,  tables,  arms 
of  couches,  and  insofar  as  art  can  imitate 
nature,  this  giant  butterfly  was  as  beautiful 
as  the  gorgeous  creatures  of  India  or  South 
America. 

Of  course  she  was  rewarded  with  her  share 


THE    MAN   FROM    MAINE     139 

of  applause  and  laudatory  remarks,  Asa, 
Maria  and  Dan  being  absolutely  mute  for 
the  moment,  with  wonder  and  delight. 

Asa's  head  swayed  in  unison  with  her 
movements,  and  when  at  last  his  parched 
tongue  could  articulate,  he  slapped  his  hand 
emphatically  upon  his  knee  and  exclaimed: 

"  By  Jupiter,  I'll  hev  one  of  them,  if  it 
costs  a  leg,  I  will,  by  hokey;"  then  to  Mrs. 
Gay,  "  Say,  Miss." 

"  Married  lady,"  whispered  Jim. 

"Is  that  so?" 

"  Widow,  Mr.  King,"  said  Gertrude. 

Asa  actually  jumped  into  the  air. 
"  Cracky  Jane,"  said  he,  "  the  very  thing 
for  my  su-su-it." 

Mrs.  Gay,  evidently  fearing  that  Asa 
wrould  kidnap  her  bodily,  precipitately  fled. 
This  forming  material  for  a  climax,  prob 
ably,  in  Dan's  mind,  he  now  diverted  the  at 
tention  by  his  reiterated  inquiry: 

"  Marm,  ain't  it  'most  supper  time?  " 

"  Shut  up."  This  combination  was  in 
separable  between  Dan  and  his  mother. 


"  Folks  '11  think  ye  ain't  had  no  bringin'  up." 
She  then  aimed  her  disappearing  battery  in 
Asa's  direction.  "  I'll  bet  we  don't  hev  no 
harnsum  young  widders  along,  in  their 
nighties;  not  if  your  aunt  Isaac  knows  her 
self,  and  you  can  bet  your  boots  she 
does." 

"  You  stick  to  that,  Maria,"  said  Hiram. 

"  She's  jest  the  thing  to  entertain  ry'lty," 
persisted  Asa. 

"Is  she?  Well,  you  watch  your  aunt 
Hannah  do  the  entertainin'."  said  Maria  with 
determination,  which  meant  plainly  that  the 
incident  was  closed. 

One  of  Jim's  inspirations  now  prompted 
him  to  interrupt  with: 

"  Mr.  King,  don't  you  want  to  dispose  of 
this  parcel? "  at  the  same  time  handing  one 
to  him. 

"  Forgot  all  about  it;  besides,  I  hain't  had 
time.  Ben  somethin'  doin'  all  the  time. 
Here,  Hite,  here's  a  pair  of  double-thick 
mittens,  mighty  useful  when  you  shovel  a 
path  to  the  barn  in  the  winter.  Maria  knit 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE     141 

'em."  These  he  handed  to  Hiram,  who 
thanked  him  earnestly  for  them. 

"  An'  there's  a  pair  of  heavy  wool  socks 
for  you,  Vict'ry,  to  pull  right  on  over  your 
boots  when  ye  go  to  meetin'.  Maria  knit 
'em  good  size,  'cos  we  heerd  ye  was  a  little 
stocky." 

These  Asa  displayed  as  frankly  as  he 
would  have  shown  a  necktie  or  a  piece  of 
ribbon. 

"  Isn't  that  fierce?  "  was  the  aside  of  Ger 
trude.  'Wouldn't  that  joggle  you!" 

Victoria,  who  had  taken  her  cue  from 
Hiram,  received  the  offering  in  the  same 
spirit  in  which  it  was  given,  and  thanked 
both  Maria  and  Asa. 

To  Dan's  great  relief,  the  announcement 
was  now  made  by  Horace  that  supper  was 
served,  resulting  in  one  grand  leap  by  that 
energetic  young  man,  and  in  being  brought 
up  short  by  May,  who  grasped  his  jacket, 
and  appealed  to  him  to  be  a  gentle 
man. 

"  What,  when  I'm  starved?  " 


142      THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

Possibly  Dan  had  heard  of  the  remark  of 
someone,  that  we  are  only  about  three  days 
from  cannibalism,  and  could  scarcely  con 
ceive  one  being  a  gentleman  and  hungry  at 
the  same  time.  The  two  conditions  were  the 
very  antipodes,  in  his  estimation. 

Asa,  always  on  the  alert  for  points,  and 
not  wishing  to  lose  a  trick,  nudged  Maria's 
elbow  as  before,  remarking: 

'  Watch  this  formula,  now,  'cos  we'll  want 
to  know  how  to  do  it  in  style,  too." 

"  Asa,"  said  Hiram,  "  will  you  conduct 
Victoria? " 

'  Ye  see,"  said  Asa  to  Maria,  "  ye  don't 
'  hook  on,'  ye  '  conduct ' ;  "  then  to  Hiram, 
"  With  the  greatest  of  felicity." 

"  Mrs.  King,  allow  me,"  was  Hiram's  re 
quest  of  Maria. 

Asa  now  caught  Jim  by  the  arm,  and  whis 
pered:  "  Secertary,  jest  make  a  mental  res 
ervation  of  these  things." 

Hiram  then  continued : 

"  Mr.  Bailey,  Mrs.  Gay,  when  she  returns. 
Mr.  West,  will  you  escort  Miss  King?  Dan, 


THE    MAN    FROM   MAINE     143 

I  suppose  you  will  be  able  to  take  care  of 
Miss  Doolittle?" 

"  You  bet  I  will,"  was  that  young  man's 
reply. 

"  Wait  a  minute,"  shouted  Asa.  "  By 
hokey,  I  forgot  my  boots.  I'll  be  back 
in  a  minute,"  and  away  he  went  like  a 
shot. 

When  he  had  disappeared,  Dan  resumed 
his  jacket,  Mrs.  Gay  returned,  and  Victoria 
took  occasion,  while  waiting  for  Asa,  to  say 
to  Maria: 

"  Mrs.  King,  I  thank  you  a  thousand  times 
for  your  thoughtfulness  in  making  those 
articles  for  us,  and  as  long  as  we  live  we  shall 
prize  them  as  reminders  of  your  visit  and 
your  kindly  heart." 

"  Ain't  that  a  good  jolly? "  murmured 
Gertrude. 

"  We  shall  indeed,"  added  Hiram.  "  Asa 
is  somewhat  unused  to  the  ways  of  the  world, 
but  his  heart  is  as  big  as  an  ox's.  I  have  seen 
the  lad,  many  a  time,  divide  the  pennies  he 
had  for  the  circus  with  poorer  boys  than  we, 


144      THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

and  sometimes  go  home  whistling  and  happy, 
without  seeing  the  show  himself." 

This  truthful  description  of  Asa's  nature 
brought  tears  to  his  wife's  eyes,  who  replied 
with  subdued  sobs: 

"  Asa's  a  good  man,  Hiram,  an'  ef  he  is 
a  little  green,  he  means  well." 

A  sudden  loud  report,  as  of  a  gun,  was 
heard,  causing  the  utmost  consternation 
among  all  present.  For  the  first  instant  no 
one  moved,  listening  for  further  develop 
ments,  which  materialised  rapidly. 

Asa's  voice  was  now  heard  in  the  hall, 
evidently  in  great  glee. 

"  I  got  him,  I  got  him.  Shot  him  square 
'tween  the  eyes.  I  see  him  lookin'  out  from 
under  the  1'unge,  an'  I  peppered  him.  B'ars 
do  git  out  of  Wall  Street,  I  guess,"  where 
upon,  Asa  appeared  in  the  entrance  with  his 
gun  in  one  hand,  and  dragging  a  huge  tiger 
skin  rug  with  the  other. 

The  shout  of  laughter  that  greeted  his 
appearance  was  electrical.  Hiram  himself, 
usually  dignified  as  any  judge,  threw  himself 


THE    MAN    FROM   MAINE     145 

upon  the  ottoman  in  uncontrollable  laughter. 
Gertrude  sank  into  a  chair  and  played  a 
tattoo  on  the  floor  with  her  feet,  while  her 
body  swayed  wildly  to  and  fro. 

Asa,  not  understanding  the  meaning  of 
this  reception,  presently  looked  back  at  the 
trophy  of  his  hunt,  and  for  the  first  time 
realised  the  ridiculous  nature  of  his  prize. 

"  Well,  I'm  jiggered!  "  said  he,  presently 
joining  in  the  laughter  as  heartily  as  any  of 
the  others. 


CHAPTER    ELEVEN 

OURING  all  the  years  of  Hiram 
King's  residence  in  New  York, 
he  had  many  times  urged  his 
brother  to  come  to  the  city  and  make  him  a 
good  long  visit,  and  at  increasingly  lengthy 
intervals  ITiram  and  Victoria  had  made  brief 
trips  to  see  Asa  in  his  native  town. 

Asa  could  not  be  prevailed  upon,  however, 
to  wander  further  than  Paris  Hill,  where  the 
county  records  were  kept,  or  Lewiston  for 
special  purchases,  and  the  State  Fair,  usually 
taking  the  whole  family,  and  "  visiting " 
Jotham  King,  a  cousin,  who  kept  a  grain 
and  feed  store  on  Main  Street  above  the 
canal. 

During  the  week  that  he  had  allowed  to 
remain  in  New  York  before  sailing,  Hiram 
took  especial  pains  to  see  that  he  went  about 
and  had  every  opportunity  to  get  familiar 

146 


THE   MAN   FROM   MAINE     147 

with  city  customs,  never  hesitating  to  intro 
duce  him  to  any  friend  he  met,  and  with  an 
air  of  pride  in  his  ability  to  do  so.  One 
might  have  inferred  that  Asa  was  a  prince, 
or  a  multimillionaire  in  disguise,  from  the 
deference  paid  to  him  by  Hiram. 

Asa  already  had  a  crude  knowledge  of 
the  city's  ways  from  reading  the  Portland 
Transcript,  the  Lewiston  Journal,  and  the 
True  Flag,  much  the  same  ideas  that  a  stu 
dent  gets  of  a  foreign  tongue,  studying 
from  a  book  and  alone. 

One  day  Asa  wandered  unaccompanied 
across  34th  Street  to  Broadway,  where  he 
was  very  soon  accosted  by  a  very  slick-look 
ing  stranger,  who  addressed  him  as 
follows : 

"  Ah,  how  do  you  do,  Mr.  Adams.  Come 
to  town  once  in  a  wrhile,  I  see.  I'm  selling 
country  real  estate  now;  don't  care  where  it 
is  located.  Have  you  got  any  for  sale  over 
in  Hohokus? " 

"  No,  my  friend,  I  ain't  got  no  land  for 
sale.  I  ain't  Adam,  and  I  don't  live  in 


148      THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

Hokus-Pokus,"  Asa  replied  grimly  and  with 
emphasis. 

"  Well,  well !  "  replied  the  stranger,  "  what 
a  remarkable  resemblance!  I  never  saw 
anything  quite  so  extraordinary.  You  must 
be  a  relative,  another  branch  of  the  Adams 
family? " 

"  Not  this  eve,  stranger,"  said  Asa. 

:( I  really  beg  your  pardon,  but  I  am  sure 
I  have  met  you  somewhere,  and  got  the 
name  and  location  mixed.  Let  me  see,  your 
name  is— 

"  Pinkham,"  said  Asa. 

"  Certainly,  certainly,  now  I  remember. 
I  met  you  down  in — let  me  see — don't  tell  me 
now — it  was  down  in — er — er — how  morti 
fying." 

"  Lynn,"  suggested  Asa  slyly. 

"  Ah,  that's  wiiere  it  wras.  Now  it  all 
comes  back  to  me,  and  the  first  name  is— 

"  Lydia,"  said  Asa  with  a  laugh  that  at 
tracted  even  the  attention  of  a  policeman 
on  the  opposite  side. 

The  "  real  estate  "  man  had  run  against  a 


Rube  who  not  only  read  the  papers,  but  who 
made  practical  use  of  what  he  read. 

When  Asa  related  the  morning's  adven 
ture  later  to  Hiram,  the  latter  laughed  until 
his  sides  ached. 

"  You'll  do,"  said  he.  "  If  all  strangers 
who  come  to  New  York  would  be  as  sharp, 
and  exercise  a  little  common  sense,  the  career 
of  the  confidence  man  would  be  a  brief  one. 
All  solicitations  from  strange  men,  under 
whatever  pretext,  are  to  be  looked  upon  with 
suspicion." 

"  I  tell  you,  Hite,  I  may  be  green,  but  by 
hokey,  I  ain't  ripe  enough  for  pickin',"  was 
Asa's  reply. 

Hiram  assisted  Asa  and  Jim  in  their  pur 
chases,  looking  carefully  after  any  attempt 
at  overcharging,  and  saw  the  entire  party, 
minus  Webster  the  tramp,  who  disappeared 
the  first  day  in  New  York,  with  the  tomato 
can,  on  board  the  steamer  for  Southampton, 
from  whence  they  \vere  to  take  steamer  for 
Cape  Town. 

There  was  a  large  party  present  at  the 


pier  when  they  sailed,  friends  of  the  Kings 
who  had  become  greatly  interested  in  the 
quaint  old  man  and  his  mission  to  Zululand, 
beside  Hiram,  Victoria  and  Gertrude. 

After  leaving  the  pier,  an  inspection  of 
the  staterooms  was  instituted. 

;<  Thunder!  "  Asa  exclaimed  as  he  looked 
their  room  over,  "can  we  two  live  in  this 
closet?  It  hain't  got  a  winder  bigger  'n  a 
pants  button,  an  if  a  feller  rolled  off  of  that 
top  shelf,  he'd  land  in  the  wash  basin.  Say, 
Maria,  who's  goin'  to  sleep  on  the  top  shelf, 
you  or  I  ?  " 

"  I  don't  know  for  certain  who's  goin'  to, 
but  I  know  for  sure  who  ain't,  and  that's 
me,"  said  Maria. 

'  Then  I  guess  it's  goin'  to  be  me.  Jim, 
s'pose  you  order  in  a  tac'le  and  fall." 

'  You'll  get  the  hang  of  it  soon,"  said  Jim. 
"  Just  stand  on  the  lower  one,  and  swing 
yourself  right  in." 

"  I  can  manage  it  some say,  who's 

smoking?  Somebody's  smoking  strong  to 
bacco.  Strong  tobacco  always  did  make 


Say,  Maria,  who's  goin'  to  sleep  on  the  top  shelf, 
you  or  I  ?  " 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE     151 

me  sick.  Gosh,  what  was  that?  Guess  she 
struck  a  rock.  Jim,  run  up  to  the  roof,  and 
look  off.'* 

Jim  disappeared,  but  did  not  go  up  "  on 
the  roof  "  as  directed,  but  turned  just  in 
time  to  prevent  Dan  from  collapsing  like  a 
photographer's  tripod;  then  assisted  him 
to  his  stateroom,  and  bundled  him  bodily 
into  the  lower  berth,  boots  and  all. 

Asa  sat  down  promptly  on  the  side  couch, 
and  ran  his  hand  slowly  over  his  clammy 
brow,  while  Maria  proceeded  calmly  to  dis 
pose  of  wraps  and  parcels  in  safe  snug  places 
for  the  voyage. 

Soon,  however,  her  attention  was  called  to 
Asa  from  the  mere  fact  of  his  inactivity, 
when  she  observed  the  paleness  of  his  fea 
tures,  and  especially  the  white  rings  about  his 
mouth. 

'  You  ain't  seasick,  be  ye,  Asa? "  she  in 
quired. 

:<  What  in  thunder  do  ye' think  I  am — pic 
nicking  at  Weld  Pond? " 

"  I  didn't  think  you'd  be  sick,  Asa." 


152     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

"I  ain't  sick,  Maria,  I'm  dyin'.  Jest 
stand  one  side  while  I  take  a  header  into  that 
cupboard.  I  don't  want  to  die  on  the 
floor." 

Maria,  like  some  few  favoured  mortals, 
did  not  appear  to  be  in  the  least  affected  by 
the  movement  of  the  vessel,  and  never  hav 
ing  felt  the  unexplainable  nausea  of  seasick 
ness,  failed  as  everyone  does  under  like  cir 
cumstances  to  appreciate  the  deathly  feeling 
that  had  overcome  Asa  the  moment  the 
steamer  struck  the  first  swell  of  the 
sea. 

May  had  very  quietly,  and  without  a  word 
or  a  sign,  stolen  to  her  own  room,  and  there 
awaited  results — not  only  the  effect  upon 
herself,  but  upon  the  others. 

Asa  pitched  headforemost  on  to  the 
"  lower  shelf,"  clothes  and  all,  replying  to 
all  inquiries  that  he  "  wouldn't  move  for  the 
best  farm  down  east." 

No  arguments  or  entreaties  from  Maria 
had  any  effect  upon  him,  and  Asa  lay  like 
the  statue  of  Napoleon  in  the  Place  Ven- 


THE   MAN   FROM   MAINE     153 

dome,  after  the  Communists  had  overthrown 
the  column,  and  the  nose  of  the  conqueror 
was  driven  into  the  earth. 

Mrs.  King,  Jim  and  May  never  missed  a 
meal,  much  to  the  astonishment  and  disgust 
of  Asa  and  Dan,  who  scarcely  moved  for  two 
days. 

On  the  third  day,  however,  the  sea  being 
calm,  both  were  sufficiently  sea-broke  to  be 
assisted  on  deck,  where  they  reposed  com 
fortably  on  steamer  chairs,  watching  the 
promenade,  and  the  occasional  rise  of  por 
poise. 

Asa  soon  recovered  his  usual  good  spirits, 
and  on  the  fourth  day  he  was  present  at 
meals,  and  walked  the  deck  as  briskly  as  any 
man  of  his  age  might.  Dan  also  rebounded 
like  a  rubber  ball,  and  became  again  the  once 
familiar  boy. 

In  due  time  Southampton  was  reached, 
prompt  connection  being  made  with  the 
steamer  for  Cape  Town. 

It  was  a  long  sail  the  Consul  and  his  party 
had  down  the  coast  of  Spain,  Portugal,  and 


154     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

Africa,  touching  at  several  ports  on  the  way, 
including  a  halt  at  the  Canary  Islands,  and 
also  at  St.  Helena. 

This  latter  place  aroused  great  interest  in 
Asa,  it  having  been  associated  so  intimately 
with  the  career  of  Napoleon,  the  "  Fust 
Consul,"  as  he  was  fond  of  designating 
him. 

Sufficient  time  being  allowed  all  wrho 
wished,  his  entire  party  took  the  trip  inland 
to  the  place  of  the  great  Emperor's  impris 
onment  and  death. 

"  Now  Dan,"  said  Asa  reflectively,  as  they 
stood  in  the  room  where  Napoleon  breathed 
his  last,  "you  see  a  man  can  be  too  great; 
until  other  folks  who  don't  like  turnin' 
their  necks  into  pavin'  stones  for  conquerors 
to  walk  on  take  a  hand  in  the  game,  and  land 
him  neck  and  heels  in  a  room  this  size,  with  a 
first-class  recommendation  as  a  place  to  draw 
his  last  breath  in.  You  don't  want  to  try 
and  be  too  great,  Dan.  Webster  tried  it, 
and  a  whole  bunch  of  the  little  fellers  downed 
him.  Jest  sneak  up  gradual,  Dan,  and  all 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE     155 

at  once  they'll  find  a  great  man  among  'em 
before  they  have  time  to  trip  ye.  Let  them 
flies  alone  on  that  winder,  Dan.  P'raps 
their  ancestors  use'  to  be  friends  of  the  great 
Napoleon." 

"Guess  there  wa'n't  no  flies  on  Nap, 
daddy,"  said  Dan. 

"  No,  I  don't  expect  there  was,  but  there 
are  several  on  you." 

From  St.  Helena  but  few  days  remained 
before  Cape  Town  was  reached,  where  Jim 
and  Dan  wrere  dispatched  in  advance  to  Bool- 
ahackentula,  to  get  things  in  readiness  for 
the  coming  of  the  representative  of  the 
United  States.  The  palace  of  the  Consulate 
was  to  be  gotten  in  order,  with  the  furnish 
ings  and  equipment  brought  by  Asa,  to  make 
a  strong  impression  on  the  king  and  his 
people. 

Asa,  Mrs.  King,  and  May  remained  be 
hind  in  Cape  Town,  Jim  assuring  them  that 
it  would  not  be  dignified  for  Asa  to  be  put 
ting  up  lace  curtains,  hanging  portieres  or 
pictures,  and  laying  rugs  and  carpets. 


156     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

Asa  very  readily  acquiesced  in  this  sug 
gestion,  for  he  was  naturally  dignified  and 
sensitive ;  besides,  it  gave  him  an  opportunity 
to  gain  some  knowledge  of  South  Africa 
in  an  unofficial  way  before  he  took  upon  his 
shoulders  the  robes  of  office. 


CHAPTER    XII 


BAILEY  and  Dan  had  been 
a  week  in  Boolahackentula  before 
their  labours  were  completed. 

They  had  found,  much  to  their  surprise, 
that  such  a  thing  as  a  "  house  "  did  not  exist 
in  that  country,  the  retiring  Consul  having 
occupied  a  four-posted  thatched-roof  shack, 
which  was  considered  all  that  the  dreams  of 
avarice,  so  often  alluded  to,  could  desire. 

The  king  lived  in  just  such  another,  with 
his  daughter,  and  an  Irishman  of  whom  he 
was  very  fond. 

Aoola  I.  had  offered  them  every  facility 
for  putting  their  "  palace  "  in  order,  even  as 
sisting  in  tacking  up  the  lace  curtains  along 
the  front,  and  laying  rugs  over  the  ground. 

The  one  only  hammer  in  all  Zululand, 
the  property  of  his  Majesty,  was  freely 
loaned  to  Jim  or  Dan,  although  with  caution 
to  guard  it  safely,  and  return  it  to  the  Mas- 

157 


158     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

ter  of  the  Household  at  the  conclusion  of  its 
service. 

This  thatched  hut,  when  viewed  by  Jim 
and  Dan  on  this  particular  day,  presented 
some  such  appearance  as  this: 

It  was  square,  with  a  roof  of  four  sides 
coming  to  a  peak.  Three  sides  were  open, 
but  the  back  was  thatched  like  the  roof. 

Lace  and  madras  curtains  hung  from  the 
other  three  sides,  while  a  Japanese  bead  por 
tiere,  or  several  of  them,  were  suspended 
from  the  roof  inside,  answering  for  par 
titions. 

The  ground,  inside  and  outside  the  hut, 
was  covered  with  a  large  carpet  and  nume 
rous  rugs,  while  Hiram's  parlour  set  of  ele 
gant  material  and  design,  was  artistically 
bestowed  outside  as  well  as  inside  the  shelter, 
if  it  may  be  called  such. 

A  large  pier  glass  was  standing  under  a 
palm  tree,  a  telephone  being  attached  to 
another.  Over  the  centre  of  the  structure 
was  placed  prominently  the  familiar  por 
trait  of  Daniel  Webster,  while  at  one  corner 


was  a  flagstaff,  flying  the  star  spangled 
banner. 

A  folding  work-table  stood  near  the  centre 
of  the  open  space  in  front  of  the  official  resi 
dence,  back  of  which  was  a  short  flight  of 
folding  steps,  covered  "with  a  patchwork 
quilt,  the  table  being  also  partially  concealed 
by  a  chenille  cover. 

At  the  time  we  first  come  into  visual  con 
tact  with  this  scene,  Dan  is  seated  on  the  top 
of  the  steps  looking  off,  through  a  pair  of 
field  glasses,  and  Jim  is  lazily  smoking  a 
cigar,  while  seated  in  a  large  rocking  chair 
under  a  tree.  Jim  speaks  first. 

"Now,  Dan,  I  think  we  are  ready  for 
them.  Everything  is  in  apple-pie  order." 

"  Bet  yer  sweet  life  it  is,  Jim,  but  you  want 
to  watch  out  when  dad  finds  out  this  is  the 
Mansion  of  the  United  States  Embassy." 

"  Lucky  we  came  on  a  week  ahead  from 
Cape  Town  and  got  things  in  order.  Can 
you  see  anything  of  them  yet,  Dan?  " 

Dan  takes  another  look  through  the  glass. 
"  No,"  he  replied ;  then,  suddenly,  "  hold  on, 


though — them's  um  now.  Hooray!  they'll 
be  here  in  a  jiffy,"  said  Dan,  coming  down 
from  his  perch  and  flying  around  like  a  hen 
with  her  head  cut  off. 

Presently  distant  shouts  of  "  halloo  "  as 
from  Asa  were  heard,  eliciting  another 
"  hooray  "  from  Dan,  who  further  suggested 
to  Jim  that  he  fire  a  gun,  which  the  latter  did 
as  an  official  salute. 

"  That's  it,"  said  Dan;  "  that  '11  warn  the 
natives  to  look  out,  too." 

Jim  now  possessed  himself  of  two  flags, 
that  had  been  crossed  over  Webster's  por 
trait,  and  waved  them  vigorously,  re 
marking  : 

'  We'll  give  them  a  grand  triumphal 
entry  into  Boolahackentula,  eh,  Dan? " 

"Bet  yer!  Hello,  dad,"  he  shouted. 
"Hello,  marm.  Here  we  are,  hooray!" 

In  a  few  moments  more  the  American 
Consul,  his  honourable  consort,  and  lovely 
daughter,  entered  the  little  plaza  in  front  of 
the  "  Embassy,"  as  Jim  waved  the  flags, 
backing  and  bowing  obsequiously. 


THE    MAN   FROM    MAINE     161 

"  Welcome  to  the  Mansion  of  the  United 
States  Embassy.  Welcome  to  Boolahack- 
entula,"  said  Jim  with  mock  gravity. 

Asa  was  puzzled.  He  scarcely  knew  what 
to  make  of  the  unexpected  condition  of 
things  that  now  confronted  him. 

"  Say,  Jim,  this  is  the  place  I  had  callated 
my  speech  for,  but  I  don't  see  no  gapin' 
multitude." 

"  They're  off  on  the  royal  hunt,  but 
they'll  call  around  later,"  said  Jim  reas 
suringly. 

"  Say,  May,"  said  Dan,  "  ain't  this  like  a 
novel?  Look  at  that  mansion,  marm." 

Mrs.  King  gasped. 

'That!  What  the  dickens — now  Dan, 
what  you  gone  an'  put  them  valerble  curtings 
up  on  that  cowshed  for?  " 

"Cowshed!"  exclaimed  Dan.  "I  want 
you  to  know  that's  the  "  Mansion." 

"  That !  "  exclaimed  Maria  with  disgust. 

"  That's  the  White  House." 

Asa  had  by  this  time  recovered  sufficient 
breath  to  inquire: 


162      THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

"  Jim  Bailey,  is  this  the  habitation  of  the 
representative  of  the  United  States?  " 

'  That's  what  it  is.  It's  the  best  house  in 
the  country,  anyhow.  Even  the  king's  is  not 
as  good." 

'  Ye  don't  s'pose  we've  struck  the  wrong 
country,  do  ye — but  le's  see  the  inside." 

Jim  and  Dan  immediately  pulled  the  cur 
tains  aside,  revealing  more  of  the  parlour 
set,  the  piano,  the  bead  portieres,  and 
various  articles  of  a  useful  or  decorative 
character. 

'  There  now,"  Jim  exclaimed  with  pride, 
"  what  do  you  think  of  it?  Isn't  that  ro 
mantic?  " 

It  struck  Asa  and  Maria  in  much  the  same 
fashion,  as  each  dropped  half-paralysed  into 
convenient  chairs.  May  laughed,  and  voted 
it  "  awfully  jolly,"  Jim  and  Dan  joining 
with  her.  This  was  too  much  for  Maria. 

"Stop  laughing,  you  fools!"  she  ex 
claimed  excitedly. 

Asa  presently  recovered,  and  with  his 
usual  optimism  attempted  to  console  his 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE      163 

wife  and  himself  at  the  same  time,  with  the 
remark : 

"  Well,  Maria,  it's  better  'n  the  king's. 
Jim  says  so." 

"  I  s'pose  we've  got  to  stand  it.  Do 
we  all  sleep  in  that  hen-coop? "  Maria 
inquired. 

"  Yes,  indeed,"  Jim  assured  her.  "  Just 
hang  up  some  of  those  bead  portieres,  to 
divide  the  rooms,  and  there  you  are." 

This  caused  a  lockjaw  of  the  upper  lip  to 
Maria,  for  that  feature  set  instantly  as 
straight  and  firm  as  that  of  any  Boston  ter 
rier  in  a  dog  fight. 

"  Jim  Bailey!  "  she  exclaimed  shortly,  "  if 
you  expect  me  to  dress  an'  ondress  behind  a 
string  of  beads,  I  guess  you  don't  know  your 
aunt  Isaac." 

Asa  had  about  settled  down  to  the  inevi 
table,  the  humour  of  the  situation  beginning 
to  dawn  upon  him,  therefore  he  endeavoured 
as  best  he  might  to  soothe  Maria's  ruffled 
feelings. 

"  Never   mind,    Maria,"   he   said,  "  we'll 


hang  up  the  royal  bed-quilt,  and  call  it  the 
tapestry  chamber ;  "  but  Maria  tossed  her 
head  and  flounced  off  into  the  hut  accom 
panied  by  May. 

"What's  this  for,  Jim?"  Asa  inquired, 
placing  one  hand  on  the  steps. 

'  That — oh,  you  can  pick  dates  off  the 
palms  with  that,  or  use  them  as  a  signal 
station." 

"  I  tell  ye,  dad,"  interrupted  Dan,  "  that's 
your  throne,  when  ye  receive  kings  and  jacks, 
and  ten  spots,  and  things." 

"  Hamlet  said,  '  A  king  of  shreds  and 
patches,'  "  Jim  quoted;  "  but  this  would  be 
a  throne  of  shreds  and  patches." 

"  And  what  do  we  do  with  the  table  out 
here,  Jim? " 

"  I  suppose  we  will  have  to  call  that  the 
Council  table,  to  sign  treaties  on,"  laughed 
Jim. 

'  Yes,  and  to  give  banquets  on,"  again 
suggested  Dan. 

"  Bankets  on  that,  Dan!  "  said  his  father; 
"  ye  couldn't  banket  a  muskeeter  on  that." 


THE    MAN   FROM   MAINE     105 

"  You  will  have  plenty  of  opportunity  to 
try,"  added  Jim. 

Asa  now  took  a  more  general  look  at  the 
ensemble  of  the  place.  Noticing  a  tree  with 
several  hats  hanging  from  its  trunk,  he  re 
marked  : 

"  I  s'pose  that  is  a  hat-tree,  eli,  Jim? " 

'  Yes,  and  didn't  cost  five  thousand  dol 
lars,  either." 

"  Got  any  rubber  trees?  I  need  a  new 
pair." 

"  Yes,  I  think  there  are,  sir." 

Asa  was  now  in  excellent  spirits,  and 
joking  in  his  dry,  droll  way. 

"  All  kinds  of  trees,  eh?  Got  any 
umbrella  trees  or  whiffle-trees  on  the 
place?" 

"  Yes  sir,  a  half-dozen  umbrella  trees." 

"  Cracky,  we  won't  have  to  go  in  when  it 
rains,  will  we?  Well,  yeVe  fixed  up  nice 
here,  Jim.  Dan,  you  go  and  help  your 
mother  get  settled." 

"Daniel!"  was  the  loud  call  at  that  mo 
ment  from  Maria  in  the  hut. 


166      THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

"  I'm  a-comin,"  Dan  replied,  as  he  leis 
urely  obeyed. 

'  Yes,  Dan  and  I  have  worked  hard  to  get 
things  placed,  and  when  you  see  the  other 
places,  you  will  feel  quite  like  a  king  indeed," 
Jim  assured  Asa. 

'  Then  the  view  off  here  is Asa 

had  turned  to  look  off  in  the  opposite  direc 
tion,  when  he  was  actually  paralysed  to 
speak,  by  a  sight  that  suddenly  met  his  gaze 
as  he  and  Jim  turned. 

Almost  at  his  back  was  a  man,  whose  ap 
pearance  at  any  time  and  in  any  place  might 
bring  terror  to  the  beholder. 

He  was  a  large  man  with  long  hair  and 
beard,  both  of  the  lion's  mane  variety;  from 
beneath  his  shaggy  eyebrows  the  wildest  pair 
of  eyes  were  glistening,  while  between  his 
teeth  a  huge  dirk  gleamed  viciously.  He 
wore  a  red  shirt,  and  at  his  belt  were  two 
large  revolvers.  He  also  wore  a  pair  of 
rough  high  boots  into  which  his  trousers  were 
tucked,  and  on  his  head  was  a  dirty  slouch 
hat  of  formidable  proportions. 


"  You  havn't  seen  me." — "  I'm  Jim, —  Red  Jim." 


THE   MAN    FROM   MAINE     167 

As  this  man  removed  the  knife  from  be 
tween  his  teeth  and  stepped  stealthily  for 
ward,  Asa  slowly  retreated  until  he  backed 
against  the  steps  and  almost  unconsciously 
mounted  them  backwards. 

The  visitor  then  growled,  or  hissed,— 

'  Ye    haven't    seen    me,    d'ye    hear, — ye 
haven't  seen  me." 

Asa  would  have  given  a  year's  salary  at 
that  moment,  to  have  been  able  to  reply 
truthfully  that  he  had  not,  but  he  made  no 
reply,  only  saying  to  Jim.  "  Give  me  the 
flag,  Jim."  Jim  immediately  obeyed,  and 
Asa  held  it  above  his  head,  as  Jim  stood 
quietly  by,  with  a  hand  on  his  revolver,  ready 
to  interfere  should  it  become  necessary. 

The  ladies  had  sought  shelter  behind  por 
tieres  and  things,  while  Dan  peeped  out 
from  behind  a  post. 

4  You  haven't  seen  me, — "  again  mysteri 
ously  remarked   the   miner,    "understand? 
I'm    Jim, — Red    Jim.     Keep    that,—       he 
added  as  he  threw  a  bag  upon  the  table,— 
"  but    ye    haven't    seen    me, — understand, 


understand?  Don't  tell  'em  ye  saw  me. 

Keep  that  bag.  Sh ™  then  placing  a 

finger  to  his  lips  he  stepped  cautiously  on 
tip-toe  across  the  space,  and  as  he  turned 
suddenly,  he  found  himself  face  to  face  with 
the  large  pier  glass  Jim  had  placed  there. 

Throwing  up  both  hands,  and  with  a  yell 
of  terror,  he  turned  and  fled  in  the  opposite 
direction,  as  if  all  the  demons  of  the  infernal 
regions  were  after  him. 

Silence  reigned  a  moment,  the  tableau  of 
five  figures  being  undisturbed  by  as  much  as 
a  breath. 

Jim  was  the  first  to  move,  however,  in 
order  the  better  to  follow  the  movements  of 
the  retreating  figure. 

Asa  began  slowly  to  descend  from  his 
"  throne,"  Maria's  head  appeared  above  the 
piano,  May  parted  the  bead  strings,  and 
Dan  partially  emerged. 

Suddenly  there  was  a  terrific  shriek  from 
the  direction  the  miner  had  taken,  and  a 
movement  to  retreat  was  instantly  begun  on 
the  part  of  all  but  Jim,  \vho  boldly  advanced. 


THE    MAX    FROM   MAINE     169 

"  Look  out,  Jim,"  cautioned  Asa. 

"  It's  all  right,  he's  jumped  off  that  cliff 
down  onto  the  rocks  and  there  won't  be  a 
piece  of  him  left  big  enough  to  make  a  mince 
pie.  It's  all  right  now,"  was  Jim's  welcome 
assurance. 

Asa  immediately  recovered  his  usual 
spirits,  remarking,— 

'  The  majesty  of  the  Guv'ment  was  too 
much  for  him.  Did  ye  see  him  wilt  when  I 
waved  Old  Glory?  Come  out  gals  an  le's 
see  what's  in  the  bag." 

The  reserves  now  came  forward  cau 
tiously  from  the  shelter  of  the  hut,  as  Asa 
peeped  into  the  bag. 

"  Stones,  nothin'  but  stones,"  was  Asa's 
disgusted  remark  as  he  poured  them  out 
upon  the  table. 

Jim  took  one  glance  at  them,  removing 
one  to  examine  it  attentively. 

"  Stones,  eh,"  said  he;  "  well,  if  they  were 
mine,  and  anyone  offered  me  fifty  thou 
sand  dollars  for  them,  I  wouldn't  sell 
them." 


"  Jerusha,  Jim,  you  must  be  as  crazy  as 
the  other  fellow,"  exclaimed  Asa.  "  What 
be  they? " 

"  Diamonds,  fifty  thousand  dollars'  worth, 
at  least." 

"  Jim,  honest  now,  ye  ain't  foolin'  be  ye?  " 

"  No,  indeed.  I  never  was  more  serious 
in  my  life.  They're  diamonds,  uncut  and 
unpolished.  There's  one  now,  that  ought  to 
cut  to  twenty-five  thousand  dollars.  A 
good  day's  beginning,  Asa." 

'  Well,  ruther.  Do  all  of  'em  have  to 
come  and  pay  toll  to  Uncle  Sam?  He 
seemed  sort  of  ashamed  like,  as  if  he  didn't 
want  folks  'bout  here  to  know  we'd  seen 
him." 

"  No,  I  see  through  the  whole  thing  now, 
Mr.  King.  That  was  some  miner  who  has 
been  made  insane  by  his  sudden  wealth, 
and  thought  someone  was  trying  to 
steal  it." 

This  was  Jim's  correct  solution  of  the  in 
cident  as  they  afterwards  discovered. 

"  Big  head,"  said  Asa.     "  Maria,  when  we 


THE    MAX    FROM    MAINE     171 

go  back  to  Maine  we  won't  need  a  moon  no 
more.  I  'spose  them  come  under  the  head 
of  perqs? " 

"  Certainly,"  Jim  assured  him. 

"  Oh,  mama,  mama,  won't  we  shine?  "  May 
exclaimed  enthusiastically. 

;'  We  kin  have  a  di'mun  weddin'  the  min 
ute  we  strike  Dixfield,  an'  I'll  have  di'mun 
buttons  on  my  robe  de  chamber,"  was 
Maria's  exultant  remark;  then  placing  her 
little  finger  prominently  against  her  cheek, 
as  if  to  display  a  diamond  ring,  she  added, 
"  Seen  anything  of  our  caouw? "  at  which 
all  laughed  heartily,  then,  "  Say,  Jim, 
where's  the  cook  stove?" 

"  Over  in  that  hut." 

"  Come,  Mary,  le's  git  to  work,  I'm  as 
hungry  as  a  bear." 

May  and  her  mother  having  departed  on 
their  errand,  Asa  directed  Dan  to  go  and 
split  some  wood  for  his  mother. 

"Aw!"  growled  that  worthy,  "a  crown 
prince  splittin'  wood,"  but  he  went  never 
theless. 


172     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

"  Put  the  stones  in  the  ice-box,  Jim.  I'm 
afraid  they'll  melt." 

"  All  right,  sir,"  Jim  replied,  as  he  ad 
vanced  to  the  telephone  on  the  tree,  opened 
the  top,  and  dropped  the  bag  in,  returning  to 
Asa,  who  had  removed  his  coat  preparatory 
to  getting  to  work. 

"  I  s'pose  I've  got  to  git  out  a  proclama 
tion  of  amnesty,  or  thanksgiving,  pretty 
soon? " 

"  I  think  it  had  better  be  thanksgiving," 
Jim  suggested,  "  for  escaping  from  the 
crazy  miner,  for  the  diamonds,  and  because 
we're  all  hungry." 

"  Good  idee.  Now,  Jim,  I  s'pose  the  fust 
thing  is  to  make  ready  for  callers." 

'  Yes,  right  away." 

"  I  see  you've  got  Daniel  up  mighty  con 
spicuous,  right  behind  this  'ere  table,  too. 
Folk's  '11  think  it's  my  own  pictur,  won't 
they? " 

"  To  be  sure  they  will." 

"  Now,  let  me  see,  I've  heerd  of  a  '  speech 
from  the  throne,'  an'  so  long  's  you've  got  a 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE      173 

throne  here,  I  might  try  mine.  I  ain't  no 
king, — cracky  Jane,  yes  I  am  too,  come  to 
think  of  it,  and  I  had  expected  to  be  obliged 
to  deliver  a  speech  to  these  fellers,  so  I  wrote 
one  down  on  the  steamer." 

This  he  takes  from  his  pocket,  unrolls,  and 
mounts  one  step  of  the  "  throne." 

"  There  now,  Jim,  you  chip  in  with  the 
'  hear,  hears,'  and  the  '  hoorays.' '  Asa 
cleared  his  throat  and  began. 

" '  I  did  not  expec'  to  make  a 
speech ' ' 

"Hold  on,"  interrupted  Jim;  "how  can 
you  say  so,  when  you  have  it  all  there  written 
out?" 

"  Oh,  that's  all  right.  That's  parliament 
ary,  don't  you  see?  Figger  of  speech. 
'  Friends  and  furrin  citizens.'  "  Asa  began, 
with  a  flourish,  "  '  I  am  sent  by  the  great 
Ruler  across  the  great  waves  of  the  heavin' 
Atlantic,  to  see  that  your  Guv'ment  is  run 
as  it  ought  to  be;  to  see  that  the  Star 
Spangled  Banner ' — wave  the  flag  when  I 
git  there,  Jim — *  is  allus  looked  up  to  and 


174      THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

not  trod  under  the  heel  of  despotism.' — Cur'- 
us  thing  'bout  despotism,  Jim,  it  don't  never 
seem  to  have  but  one  heel.—  '  We  air  a  free 
people ' — then  you  want  to  hooray  like 
thunder,  Jim,  you  an'  Dan — '  We  believe 
the  Bird  of  Freedom,  whose  wings  extend 
from  ocean  to  ocean,  an'  whose  tail  feathers 

cover  every  ' nigger,  Jim." 

The  sudden  and  unexpected  climax  to 
Asa's  speech  was  caused  by  the  sudden  ap 
pearance  from  a  clump  of  trees  at  Jim's 
back  of  a  startlingly  curious  figure  with  the 
blackest  of  skins. 


CHAPTER    THIRTEEN 

^"^IM'S  attention  being  thus  sud- 
O  I  denly  diverted  from  the  literally 
^^^^*  spread-eagle  speech  of  his  chief, 
turned  to  learn  the  cause  of  Asa's  odd  re 
mark,  to  behold  the  reason  of  his  surprise; 
which,  however,  was  no  surprise  to  him,  the 
"  nigger  "  alluded  to  being  no  other  than 
the  Zulu  king,  Boorabo  Aoola  I.,  accom 
panied  by  his  Private  Secretary,  Patrick 
O'Hara,  and  his  daughter,  the  princess 
Foozoola. 

"  Mr.  Secertary,  pass  up  the  ladies'  and 
gents'  cards.  The  United  States  Guv'ment 
will  give  'em  audience,"  was  Asa's  very  dig 
nified  direction  to  Jim. 

The  reply  that  came  from  Boorabo  was 
as  startling,  and  even  more  unexpected,  than 
was  his  sudden  appearance,  for  black  as  he 
was,  his  words  were  uttered  with  as  rich  a 

175 


176     THE    MAN    FROM   MAINE 

brogue  as  ever  emanated  from  the  "  ould 
bog  "  in  County  Connaught. 

"  Awjence,  is  it?  Sure  it's  not  awjence 
Aoola  the  First  wants,  but  jist  to  see  phat 
kind  of  a  lookin'  jay  that  guy  in  Ameriky 
has  sint  me  this  time." 

This  was  certainly  an  unexpected  lan 
guage  for  the  King  of  the  Zulus  to  converse 
in,  and  for  the  moment  it  rather  staggered 
the  Consul. 

Just  a  moment  to  describe  the  appearance 
of  these  visitors.  As  I  have  said,  Boorabo 
was  black,  coal  black.  Surmounting  his 
bushy  black  hair  was  a  fairly  well-kept  tall 
silk  hat.  His  ears  bore  large  gold  rings. 
Around  his  loins  was  a  mass  of  white  wool, 
and  with  the  exception  of  a  red  English 
hunting  coat,  his  body  under  it,  as  well  as 
his  legs,  was  bare.  He  wore  wide  gold  arm 
bracelets  and  the  same  around  each  leg  under 
the  knee,  and  at  the  ankle. 

His  daughter,  the  princess,  was  of  the 
same  type,  but  only  half  black,  having  had 
a  white  mother.  She  wore  the  heavy  mat 


"  Surmounting  his  bushy  black  hair  was  a  fairly 
well-kept  tall  silk  hat." 


of  white  wool,  but  her  body  was  covered  by 
a  silk  shirt  waist  with  large  sleeves,  evidently 
acquired  from  some  civilised  country,  by 
some  means  unknown  to  the  writer. 

Her  hair  wras  done  up  in  a  high  pyramid 
or  knot  on  the  top  of  her  head,  stuck  full  of 
fancy  pins  of  gold  and  precious  stones. 

Below  the  mass  of  white  wool,  her  legs 
were  bare,  although'  her  feet  were  covered  by 
high  laced  boots  of  red  morocco. 

The  Private  Secretary  to  his  Majesty 
was  entirely  European  in  his  get-up,  in  fact 
it  was  practically  that  of  an  Irish  country 
squire  dressed  for  the  hunt,  his  coat  being 
of  green,  and  the  waistcoat  red.  He  also 
carried  a  hunting  crop  in  his  hand. 

"  Be  you  the  king  of  Boolahackentula  ?  " 
Asa  inquired. 

;'  Indade,  I  am  that  same;  the  Zulu  king, 
Boorabo  Aoola  First." 

Asa,  beginning  to  recover  his  breath, 
again  inquired: 

"  I  don't  like  to  be  inquisitive,  but  how  did 
ye  learn  .that  language?  " 


178      THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

"  Ain't  it  good  English  I'm  spakin', 
thin?" 

"  I  ain't  never  ben  in  England,  but  I  sh'ud 
say  it  must  hev  come  from  acrost  the  water 
somewheres." 

"  That's  roight;  sure  it  was  Patrick 
O'Hara,  the  gintleman  that  stands  at  me 
ilbow,  and  who's  from  the  County  Sligo, 
London,  who  tached  me  the  most  illigant 
English,  his  native  tongue.  But  phat's  your 
name,  ma  boucle? " 

"  Asa  King." 

"Ace  a  king!  Sure,  Pat,  ye  niver  told 
me  an  ace  was  iver  a  king." 

"  Faith,  sire,  it's  many  a  strange  thing  ye 
see  when  ye  haven't  a  gun,"  replied  the  secre 
tary,  the  mystery  of  the  king's  brogue  being 
no  longer  a  mystery. 

"  Jim,  call  the  folks,"  said  Asa,  which  di 
rection  Jim  at  once  obeyed.  "  Have  a  seat, 
Miss  King,  and  Mr.  Patrick.  Have  a 
throne,  Mr.  King,"  Asa  hospitably  re 
quested,  waving  his  hand  to  chairs,  couches, 
and  the  steps. 


Foozoola  availed  herself  of  the  invitation 
by  seating  herself  on  a  rocker,  nearly  fall 
ing  over  backward  the  first  instant,  while 
Mr.  O'Hara  took  a  seat  on  the  base  of  the 
pier  glass. 

Boorabo  declined  the  invitation,  however. 

"  Excuse  me,  I  do  be  settin'  so  much,  it's 
a  pleasure  to  stand.  Whin  are  yez  comin' 
up  to  my  shanty  to  shmoke  a  pipe  wid  me?  " 
'  What's  a  good  time  for  receptions,  any 
how?  " 

"  Come  up  whin  ye're  the  hungriest,  and 
bedad  Foozoola'll  cook  yez  a  dinner  that  '11 
bate  the  world." 

"  Indade,  she  can  that,"  added  Patrick. 

"  For  I've  roamed  in  many  a  clime, 

And  dined  with  princes  and  kings; 

But  Foozoola's  the  queen  of  good  cooks  iv'ry  time 
And   her   praties  and   dumplings   the    best   of   good 
things." 

As  he  finished,  he  bowed  very  low  and 
gracefully  to  the  object  of  his  flattery,  who 
rose  and  curtsied  in  turn,  with  a  very  charm 
ing  "  Merci,  Monsieur,"  in  excellent  French, 


180     THE    MAN    FROM   MAINE 

her  reply  indicating  the  presence  some  time 
of  still  another  nationality. 

"  By  hokey,"  exclaimed  Asa,  "  I'll  never 
be  any  hungrier  'n  I  am  now,  I  guess." 

"  Foller  me,  thin,  and  I'll  sing  yez  a  song 
after  dinner  that  Pat  larnt  me." 

Just  at  this  moment  Jim  returned,  accom 
panied  by  Mrs.  King,  May  and  Dan. 

"  Wait  a  minute,  Mr.  King.  Here's  my 
wife,  my  darter,  and  my  son.  Folks,  this 
is  Mr.  Oola,  and  his  darter  Foozalum,  and 
Mr.  Harrer,  the  royal  family  and  su-it  of 
Zululand." 

"  Glad  to  see  ye,  Mr.  Eoozer,  and  you  Miss 
Boozalum.  Hope  ye're  quite  well,"  said 
Maria. 

May  went  directly  to  Foozoola  and  soon 
made  rapid  headway  with  that  member  of 
the  royal  family. 

"  Ladies,"  said  O'Hara,  bowing  low,  "  it 
does  me  heart  good  to  see  once  more  the 
grace  "  —bowing  to  May,  who  responded — 
"  and  queenly  dignity "  —bowing  low  to 
Maria,  who  returned  the  low  salute  with  in- 


THE    MAN   FROM    MAINE     181 

terest— "  of   the   ladies   of   me   own    race, 
although  not  of  me  own  dear  ould  sod. 

"  But  divil  the  odds,  be  it  Yankee  or  Celt, 
The  sunshine  kisses  'em  all; 
And  the  blush  on  the  cheek,  where  the 

warmth  of  it's  felt 
Is  roses  in  cream 
To  the  queen  of  me  dream; 
And  the  one  that  is  near 
Is  the  one  that's  most  dear, 
Though  the  kiss  is  the  kiss  of  Old  Sol." 

'  That's  me  poet  laureate,"  said  Boorabo. 
"  Phat  he  don't  know  about  poetry  is  small 
enough  to  put  in  your  eye." 

"  What  is  this  song  about,  you  promised 
us? "  Asa  inquired. 

"About?  It's  about  a but  faith,  I'll 

sing  it  to  yez  now." 

Asa  beckoned  Jim,  and  remarked  to  him 
aside : 

"  Good  item  for  the  Oxford  Democrat, 
Jim,  or  the  Skowhegan  Clarion.  Mary,  git 
to  the  pianner,  p'raps  you  can  keep  him 
company." 


182      THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

May  hastened  to  do  as  she  was  bid,  but 
as  she  opened  it  and  ran  her  fingers  over  the 
white  ivories,  Boorabo,  who  was  about  to 
begin  his  song,  stopped  suddenly,  his  eyes 
staring  wildly  at  the  piano. 

"Phat  the  divil's  that?" 

"  A  piano,"  May  informed  him. 

"  Howly  Moses,  hit  'im  agin." 

May  did  so,  striking  several  chords. 

"  Mother  o'  Moses,  did  yez  iver  hear  the 
loikes  o'  that.  Let's  thry  once  more." 

"  Go  on  with  the  song,"  said  May,  "  and 
I  will  follow  you  with  an  accompaniment." 

"  Be  off  wid  yez  thin,"  and  Boorabo  de 
lighted  the  party  with  the  following  Irish 
ditty: 

"  Whin  the  Lord  he  created  the  land  and  the  say, 
From  his  crown  he  selicted  a  gim  of  bright  ray; 
And  the  imerald  placed  in  the  waters  of  blue, 
Is  the  gim  o'  the  say,  on  me  word  it  is  true. 
But  from  Cape  Town  to  London,  or  Hong  Kong 

to  Berne, 

It  matters  not  wherever  I  go; 

To  one  spot  on  earth,  do  me  thoughts  quickly  turn, 
'Tis  the  top  o'  the  morning  to  Sligo. 


tTHE    MAN    FROM   MAINE     183 

The  hills  are  so  green, 
Sure  niver  was  seen, 
A  spot  on  the  earth, 
Like  the  place  of  me  birth, 
That's  Sligo,  bedad  it  is  Sligo. 
"  Sure  Limerick's  fine,  and  Killarney's  a  pearl, 

And  in  Cork, — och,  bedad,  but  there's  the  fine  girl ! 
Thin  to  ride  behind  shtame,  I  wouldn't  go  far, 
While  Kilkenny's  the  place  for  the  ould  jauntin' 

car. 

Iv'ry  spot  has  its  charm, — Dublin,  Belfast,  Galway, 
In  Ireland  wherever  I  go; 
Still  Ulster's  me  darlint,  and  Donegal  Bay, 
Gives  the  top  of  the  morning  to  Sligo. 
The  Blarney  stone's  great, 
Tipperary's  hard  bate, 
But  there's  only  one  spot, 
Sets  me  blood  runnin'  hot; 
That's  Sligo,  bedad  it  is  Sligo." 

The  song  appeared  to  give  great  satisfac 
tion  to  the  listeners,  while  O'Hara  could  not 
refrain  from  joining  with  the  king,  in  the 
last  lines  of  each  stanza. 

"  Now  begorra  I  must  be  off.  It's  a  great 
time  we'll  have  this  day.  Hurroo, — but  say, 
the  young  paple  must  come  in  coort  dress, 


184     THE    MAN   FROM   MAINE 

to  be  presinted  officially.  Sure  't  '11  niver  do 
to  come  in  thim  things,"  pointing  to  May  and 
Dan.  :'  We're  very  particular.  Obsarve 
me  coort  dress.  Mr.  O'Hara,  will  yez  ex 
plain  to  the  ladies  the  customs  of  the  royal 
banquets? " 

'  With  pleasure,  your  Majesty,"  replied 
Patrick.  ;'  Whin  I  was  Ambassador  from 
Dublin  to  the  Coort  of  St.  Petersburg,  ye 
see  the  Czar  took  me  aside  and  confidentially 
told  me  to  wear  me  native  dress,  being  such 
a  high  official,  but  if  he  reprimanded  me  at 
dinner  for  not  wearing  their  coort  dress, 
not  to  mind,  but  keep  on  eating;  but  the 
ladies,  do  ye  mind,  got  niver  a  tip,  and  sure 
they  had  to  obsarve  the  rules." 

"  His  Majesty  Aoola  First  set  the  pace 
for  all  Europe  and  Asia,  so  ye  see  the  ladies 
must  follow  the  strict  letter  of  the  law,  only 
the  Ambassador  being  allowed  to  wear  his 
own  togs.  That's  the  law  of  the  Coort 
of  Boolahackentula.  God  save  the 
King." 

'  Wall,  I  guess  my  darter  don't  go  pranc- 


ing  around  in  a  wool  mat  and  no  stockings 
on!"  exclaimed  Mrs.  King  with  much  em 
phasis. 

:'  Well  I  guess  yls,  old  woman,"  replied 
Boorabo,  "  or  your  head  will  decorate  the 
top  of  that  shtick,"  indicating  the  top  of  the 
flag-staff.  "  Beware  the  wrath  of  King 
Aoola  First,"  and  his  Zuluanic  Majesty 
strode  pompously  away  in  the  direction 
from  which  he  came." 

"  Au  revoir,  Madame,  Mademoiselle,  et 
Messieurs,"  very  charmingly  added  Foo- 
zoola  who  retired  also,  O'Hara  bowing  as  she 
passed  him. 

"  Ladies,"  said  the  latter,  "  permit  me  as 
an  Irish  gintleman  to  say  it  is  a  pleasure 
to  me  to  welcome  to  the  land  of  me  timporary 
exile,  such  hitherto  unknown  acquisitions  to 
the  society  of  the  realm;  and  to  add  that 
whiniver  Patrick  O'Hara  can  do  ye  a  sarvice, 
it's  mesilf  that's  at  your  command.  Ladies, 
Gintlemen,  I  am  your  most  humble  servant," 
and  he  bowed  low,  making  a  wide  sweep  with 
his  arm,  hat  in  hand;  then  turning  to  Jim 


186     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

added,  "  Sure,  Jim,  don't  forgit  to  return 
the  royal  hammer." 

With  the  grace  of  a  master  of  deportment 
he  restored  his  hat  to  his  head,  and  with  a 
swing    of   the   crop,    went   away   singing 
merrily : 
"  Oh,  the  bells  of  Tipperary  are  ringing  in  me  ear, 

And  the  girls  of  Ballycastle  in  me  drames  always 

appear ; 

So  come  all  ye  lads  and  lasses  let  us  drame  on  foriver, 
For  I  wouldn't  wake  and  find  me  slape, 
Was  far  from  Shannon  River, 

Sing  ho  lally  ho,  sure  we're  the  b'ys  that  niver 

'LI  forget  the  sod  that's  ours  from  God,  foriver 
and  foriver. 

Sing  ho  lally  ho/'  etc. 

His  melodious  and  joyous  tones  being  heard 
for  some  time  after  he  followed  the  king. 

Following  this  little  episode,  Asa  turned 
to  his  children  and  directed  May  to 
go  and  put  on  a  court  costume,  and  Dan  to 
go  out  behind  the  barn  and  rig  out  too. 

"I'll  go  and  git  my  own  supper,  land 
sakes,"  said  Maria.  "  You  and  the  rest  of 
the  King  family  may  go  and  eat  fried 


ostrich;  Jim  and  I'll  stay  right  here  and  eat 
canned  baked  beans,  and  I'll  bet  when  I  git 
'em  warmed  up  and  fixed,  they'll  beat  Ka- 
foozleum's  cooking  all  holler." 

"I'll  bet  they  wiU,  Mrs.  King,"  Jim 
replied. 

Dan  and  May  disappeared  in  different 
directions  to  carry  out  their  father's  instruc 
tions,  wrhile  Asa,  with  Jim's  assistance,  went 
rummaging  in  an  old-fashioned  hair  trunk 
for  his  "  court  costume,"  the  "  very  things 
that  Daniel  Webster  used  to  wear." 

In  about  a  half  hour  Asa  reappeared 
fully  caparisoned,  and  almost  the  exact 
counterpart  of  the  immortal  statesman,  in 
fact  startlingly  so,  but  of  reduced  pro 
portions. 

Presently  Dan  and  May  also  appeared, 
the  latter  having  arrayed  herself  in  a  white 
astrachan  cape,  fastened  about  her  waist 
instead  of  her  neck,  and  reaching  nearly  to 
her  knees.  Her  bodice  was  of  somewhat 
similar  style  to  that  of  Foozoola,  while  her 
hair  had  been  coiled  and  puffed  to  a  high 


188     THE    MAN   FROM   MAINE 

elevation,  and  in  addition  skewered  with 
shafts  and  darts  of  every  variety. 

Dan  was  beyond  description,  resembling 
a  tuning  fork  more  than  anything  else  that 
presents  itself  to  my  mind.  A  tuning  fork 
with  a  jacket,  a  cap,  a  large  pair  of  shoes, 
and  a  pair  of  bathing  trunks. 

Such  was  the  picturesque  variety  of  cos 
tume  presented  by  the  King  family,  pre 
pared  for  a  banquet  with  the  royal  family  of 
Aoola  First. 

Jim  remained  behind  with  Mrs.  King  as 
a  home  guard,  and  in  her  excellent  New 
England  manner  she  prepared  a  meal  that 
both  enjoyed  to  the  utmost. 

Given  an  old-fashioned  Yankee  house 
wife  and  a  few  raw  materials,  the  possibili 
ties  are  beyond  gastronomic  calculation. 
Eggs  and  even  milk  are  jauntily  dispensed 
with  when  they  are  not  to  be  had;  biscuit 
without  milk,  and,  I  verily  believe,  cus 
tard  without  egg,  are  easily  within  her 
scope. 

"  Truly,  Mrs.  King,"  protested  Jim,  after 


THE   MAN    FROM    MAINE     189 

they  had  partaken  of  their  supper,  "  I  never 
knew  that  beans  a  la  can  could  taste  as  good." 

"  Grandma  Stackpole  used  to  say,"  re 
plied  Mrs.  King,  "  that  when  she  cooked,  her 
food  tasted,  and  it's  a  pretty  poor  can  of 
beans  that  I  can't  doctor  up  and  make  wuth 
somethin',  at  any  rate." 

"  I  can  readily  believe  that,  Mrs.  King.  I 
have  eaten  beans  cooked  in  the  ground  by 
the  river  drivers  that  could  scarcely  equal 
these/' 

"  Gammon,  Jim  Bailey;  but  these  would 
a  ben  flatter 'n  a  pancake  if  I'd  jest  turned 
'em  outer  that  can.  Hullo,  what's  that? " 

Maria  stopped  to  listen,  Jim  imitating  her 
example,  when  the  sound  of  music  lightly 
fell  upon  the  ear,  which  gradually  increased 
in  volume,  until  it  was  easily  identified. 

"  It's  that  Irishman,  or  I'm  a  sinner. 
Never  mind  the  dishes  now.  I'll  just  take 
off  my  apron,  and—  —is  my  hair  all  right, 
Jim?" 

Jim  assured  her  that  it  was,  as  O'Hara's 
Irish  ditty  became  fully  audible. 


190     THE   MAN    FROM    MAINE 

"  Sing  Tio  lally  ho,  sure  we're  the  b'ys  that  niver 
'LI  forget  the  sod,  that's  ours  from  God,  foriver 
and  foriver; 

Sing  ho  lally  ho,  for  the  girls  with  eyes  so  blue, 
For  no  colleen  was  iver  seen,  so  tinder  and  so  true. 
Sing  ho  lally  ho — " 

"  Here  we  are,  safe  and  sound,  home  once 
more  under  the  ould  flag.  Sure  if  I'd  iver 
change  the  green  flag  of  ould  Ireland,  with 
its  beautiful 

'  Harp  that  once  through  Tara's  halls 

The  soul  of  music  shed, 
Now  hangs  as  mute  on  Tara's  walls 
As  if  that  soul  were  fled ;' 

only  that  beautiful  imblem  of  freedom 
should  be  mine  be  adoption,"  was  the  con 
clusion  of  O'Hara's  half-musical,  half- 
poetical  speech. 

O'Hara  was  accompanied  by  Asa,  May, 
and  Dan,  the  Consul  expressing  appreciation 
of  his  Irish  friend's  very  complimentary 
allusion  to  the  United  States. 

"  Won't  you  stop  awhile,  Mr.  O'Hara? " 
May  politely  inquired, 


'  Thank  ye,  Miss,  but  I  have  to  return  to 
me  royal  master.  Sure,  he's  going  to  pass 
a  tariff  law  to-night,  and  establish  a  few 
banks,  order  two  or  three  nagurs  shot  for 
high  treason,  and  there's  sure  to  be  some 
thing  doing." 

"  All  right  then,  Mr.  Harrer,  we'll  excuse 
ye,"  said  Asa.  "  Much  obleeged  for  your 
company  home.  Call  agin.  Glad  to  see 
ye  any  time." 

Asa  and  the  children  then  rejoined  Mrs. 
King  and  Jim,  as  O'Hara's  voice  was  once 
more  heard  on  the  evening  air,  singing  his 

"  Ho  lally  ho  for  the  girls  with  eyes  so  blue, 
For  no  colleen  was  iver  seen,  so  tinder  and  so  true, 
Sing  ho  lally  ho,"  etc. 


CHAPTER   FOURTEEN 

EVERAL  days  passed  without 
anything  worthy  of  note  occur 
ring,  the  king  making  daily  un 
official  calls  at  the  Consulate;  Mr.  O'Hara 
also  finding  it  to  his  fancy  to  "  drop  in  "  and 
drum  a  little  on  May's  piano,  playing  with 
an  easy  grace,  and  favouring  his  listeners 
with  numerous  Irish  ditties  of  which  he 
appeared  to  have  an  inexhaustible  fund. 

Foozoola  had  also  taken  a  great  fancy  to 
May,  and  between  the  little  English  she 
could  command,  and  the  little  French  May 
had  acquired  at  school,  they  managed  to  get 
along  very  well. 

Foozoola  explained  that  her  mother  had 
been  a  French  woman,  but  died  some  few 
years  previous  to  these  occurrences. 

O'Hara  had  taught  Boorabo,  her  father, 
"English,"  and  hence  the  Babel  of  lan- 

192 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE     193 

guages,  Zulu,  French,  English-Irish,  and 
Irish-English. 

"  It  must  be  lovely,  to  be  a  princess,"  said 
May  to  Jim  one  day,  as  they  were  strolling 
near  the  Consulate. 

'  There  are  '  perfectly  lovely  '  princesses, 
and  princesses  that  are  not  lovely.  The  story 
book  princess  is  usually  of  the  bon-bon  and 
chocolate  cream  order,  too  sweet  for  any 
thing." 

"  But,  Jim,  did  you  ever  see  a  real  prin 
cess,  I  mean  one  of  the  truly,  truly  kind,  not 
one  like  Foozoola,  like  a  new  kind  of  choco 
late  blend? " 

;<  Why,  yes,  I  suppose  so.  Just  what  do 
you  call  a  real  princess?  " 

"  A  real  princess  must  be  the  daughter  of 
a  king,  in  the  first  place,"  May  explained. 

'  Then  I  have  seen  a  real  princess." 

"Not  Foozoola?" 

"  No,  not  a  bit  of  black  blood." 

"  Oh  Jim,  tell  me  what  she  was  like,"  May 
went  on,  all  impatience,  her  beautiful  dark 
eyes  sparkling  with  interest.  "  Did  she 


194     THE    MAN   FROM   MAINE 

speak  English,  French,  German,  Italian, 
Spanish  or  Boston? " 

"  English  principally;  it  is  her  native 
tongue." 

"  Oh,  how  lovely,  Jim!  Go  on,  tell  me  all 
about  her.  Was  she  blonde  or  brunette, 
short  or  tall,  slim  or  stout,  old  or  young? 
Did  she  speak, — did  you  hear  her  speak? 
What  did  she  say?  Go  on,  why  don't  you 
tell  me  about  her?  " 

"  Sit  down  here  a  minute,"  Jim  replied, 
indicating  a  little  rustic  bower  the  retiring 
Consul  had  built  by  the  shore  of  a  pretty 
stream,  and  which  was  covered  with  a  variety 
of  flowers. 

May  did  as  requested,  Jim  proceeding  to 
pick  one  each  of  various  kinds  of  roses. 

"  Now,  then,  in  the  first  place,  she  was  a 
brunette,  of  beautiful  colour  tone,  as 
an  artist  would  say,  like  that  dark 
rich  red  rose.  She  was  young,  like  that 
pink  bud  just  beginning  to  give  indica 
tion  of  the  wealth  of  beauty  soon  to  be  un 
folded.  She  was  petite,  like  that  moss  rose, 


THE    MAN    FROM   MAINE     195 

that  has  nearly  reached  its  maturity.  She 
was  of  pure,  unblemished  character,  like  that 
white  rose,  without  a  touch  of  colour." 

"  Oh,  Jim,  how  perfectly,  perfectly 
lovely!  And  she  is  English,  you  say? " 

"  No,  I  do  not  think  I  said  so." 

"  Oh,  but  you  did,  though.  You  said 
English  was  her  native  tongue." 

'  True,  but  all  to  whom  the  English 
language  is  native  are  not  necessarily  Eng 
lish;  there  are  Canadians,  and  Australians, 
and, — and  Americans." 

"  But  no  royalty,  Jim,  only  Great  Brit 
ain's.  She  must  be  a  Victoria,  or  a  Maud, 
or  an  Alice.  Come,  tell  me.  Where  did 
you  see  her? " 

"  Several  places." 

"  Did  you  hear  her  speak?  " 

"  Many  times,  and  her  voice  was  like 
music." 

'  Tell  me  one  place,  Jim  Bailey,  where  you 
saw  this  perfect  woman,  this  fairy  princess, 
— oh,  how  exasperating  you  are!" 

"One  place?     On  the  steamer." 


196     THE    MAN   FROM    MAINE 

"  On  the  steamer!  Nonsense!  Why  didn't 
I  see  her? " 

"  You  couldn't." 

"But  if  she  came  down  here,  I  may 
yet." 

"  You  will  never  meet  this  daughter  of  a 
line  of  kings." 

"Never?" 

"  No,  never;  it  is  impossible." 

"Why?" 

"  Because  this  princess,  this  daughter  of  a 
king,  is — yourself." 

"  Me,  Jim?  And  is  all  this  really  meant 
for  me? " 

"  Every  word.  To  me  you  are  the  com 
posite  of  these  flowers,  the  grace,  the  beauty, 
the  delicacy,  and  the  sweetness,  all  combined. 
To  me  you  are  more  than  a  princess,  you 
shall  be  my  queen.  May  I  hope  to  call 
you  so? " 

"  Oh,  Jim,  I  shall  be  so  happy,  for  you 
have  always  been — my  king." 

What  happened?  The  same  thing  that 
has  happened  to  untold  millions,  and  which 


THE   MAN   FROM   MAINE     197 

the  majority  can  imagine  would  happen, 
when  a  grand,  manly  fellow  has  been  ac 
cepted  by  the  girl  he  loves. 

Those  roses  are  still  to  be  seen,  pressed 
between  the  leaves  of  a  book,  and  tell  mutely 
the  story  of  the  "  sweetest  love  song  ever 
sung,"  for  is  not  every  one  the  sweetest? 

It  must  not  be  thought  that  this  was  a 
sudden  inspiration  on  the  part  of  Jim  Bailey. 
No  indeed,  for  he  had  always  known  and 
loved  May  King,  and  on  the  long  voyage 
over  had  said  many  tender  things  to  her,  to 
learn  her  feeling  toward  him,  and  the  inter 
view  of  to-day  was  the  climax  of  the  first 
chapter  to  what  promises  to  be  a  long  story 
of  love. 

The  following  day,  while  Asa  and  Jim 
were  enjoying  a  chat  in  front  of  the  "  Em 
bassy  "  which  had  concerned  the  love  episode 
of  the  day  before,  and  in  the  conclusion  of 
which  Asa  had  grasped  Jim  by  the  hand  and 
heartily  given  his  consent,  Asa  had  con 
cluded  with,— 

"I   tell   ye,   Jim,    I'm   glad   on't.     Yer 


198     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

father  too  is  one  of  the  finest  men  I  ever 
knew,  and  so  was  yer  mother.  I  never  knew 
Cy  Bailey  to  speak  a  cross  word,  or  to  do 
anybody  or  anything  an  injury.  He's  the 
stiddiest  goin'  man  in  the  world.  Nothin' 
ever  ruffled  him.  He'll  never  die  of  nervous 
prostration,  or  anything,  I  hope,  but  extreme 
old  age." 

'  Thank  you,  Mr.  King.  I  am  sure 
father  will  feel  proud  of  possessing  your 
good  opinion.  Father  has  gotten  to  be 
pretty  rich,  but  I  do  not  think  that  he  is 
any  different  from  what  he  was  when  he 
lived  in  Farmington." 

"  Cos  it's  the  genuine  article,  the  true  blue 
blood,  dyed  in  the  wool,  no  shoddy  in  his 
warp,  Jim.  I  know  him  from  way  back, 
and  his  father  afore  him.  Great  snakes, 
Jim,  what's  this  coming,  another  crazy 
miner? " 

The  villainous-looking  person  who  now 
appeared  bore  every  mark  of  being  in  &  sim 
ilar  class  with  the  lunatic  who  confronted 
them  on  the  day  of  their  arrival.  Asa  was 


THE    MAN    FROM   MAINE     199 

standing  in  front  of  the  set  of  steps,  and 
placed  one  hand  on  the  top,  as  the  miner 
came  near  and  demanded  roughly, — 

"  Come  off  your  perch.  Here,  sign  that," 
as  he  threw  a  document  upon  the  table. 
"  Hands  up,  young  feller,"  to  Jim,  point 
ing  a  pistol.  Jim  quickly  followed  his  "  ad 
vice,"  not  having  any  gun  about  him  to 
"  contradict "  with. 

"  Now  keep  'em  thar.  You're  the  new 
American  Consul,  ain't  ye?  " 

"  I  am  that  highly- 

"  That'll  do;  now  sign  that.  It's  a  paper 
to  allow  me  to  enter  the  United  States  with 
out  question,  and  not  be  sent  back,  or  held  as 
an  escaped  convict."  Asa  hesitated.  "  Sign, 
I  say." 

The  Consul  hesitatingly  signed  the  paper 
with  a  lead  pencil. 

'  There  now,  there's  your  dirty  pay  to 
keep  your  conscience  quiet."  Saying  which, 
the  miner  threw  a  bag  upon  the  table. 

"  Thank  ye,"  said  Asa.     "  Call  again." 

"  Not   if   I   know   it.     Look   here,"   he 


200     THE    MAN   FROM    MAINE 

added,  brandishing  his  revolver,  "  you  betray 
me  and  I'll  blow  you  over  into  Asia.  Good- 
day,"  and  he  was  gone. 

Nothing  was  said  between  the  two  for  a 
moment  after  the  departure  of  the  miner, 
until  finally  Asa  looked  at  the  bag,  and  then 
at  Jim,  slowly  inquiring  of  the  latter, — 

"  Jim,  how — fur — is — Asia?  " 

"  Oh,  a  matter  of  two  or  three  thousand 
miles." 

"  Ain't  that  treason,  or  some  kind  of  con 
tempt,  to  threaten  to  blow  a  United  States 
Consul  as  fur  as  that?  " 

"  High  treason  at  least." 

"  Don't  you  think  we'd  better  telephone 
for  some  war  ships?  " 

'  That  might  be  a  good  idea.  The 
Asiatic  squadron  may  be  around  here  some 
where;  but  let's  see  what  is  in  the  bag  first. 
There  may  be  balm  in  it." 

Upon  this  he  cautiously  untied  the  bag, 
and  poured  its  contents  upon  the  table. 

"  Diamonds  again,"  said  he.  "  Ten  thou 
sand  dollars'  worth  at  least." 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE     201 

This  led  Asa  very  resignedly  to  remark, — 

"  And  yit  folks  wonder  how  we  Guv'ment 
officials  git  rich.  Is  this  place  full  of  luna 
tic  miners,  s'pose? " 

"  It  begins  to  look  that  way." 

'  Then  I'm  willin'  ter  dress  behind  a  string 
of  beads,  or  a  string  o'  onions,  for  ten  years, 
at  this  rate." 

;'  That's  right,  Mr.  King,  but  did  you  sign 
the  paper? " 

Asa  chuckled  quietly. 

*  Yes,  I  signed  it  all  right,  but  I  guess 
it  was  a  forgery." 

"How  so?" 

"  'Cos  I  signed  P.  T.  Barnum,  by  jing." 

"  Good,  that's  good!  You  don't  think 
he'll  object? " 

"  Couldn't  help  it.  Signature  demanded 
by  force  don't  count,  and  by  gum,  that  was 
the  only  name  I  could  think  of.  I  remem 
ber  hearing  a  story  once;  somebody  called 
Henry  Ward  Beecher,  a  universally  well- 
known  man,  and  Beecher  said :  "  You  never 
made  a  greater  mistake  in  your  life;  there 


202      THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

ain't  but  one  universally  well-known  man, 
and  that  is — P.  T.  Barnum,"  and  by  hokey 
I  guess  he's  right.  Take  care  of  the  funds, 
Jim.  My  conscience  troubles  me  a  leetle 
over  this,  'cos  it's  obtaining  di'muns  under 
false  pretences." 

"  Don't  let  that  worry  you,"  said  Jim. 

;'  We  Guv'ment  officials  have  some  blood 
curdling  escapes,  don't  we,  Jim? " 
'  Yes,  but  all  for  love  of  country." 

"  Every  bit,"  Asa  agreed. 

"  Here's  somebody  else  coming,  a  wild 
woman,  I  guess,  this  time,"  Jim  announced. 

"  Gimme  that  flag." 

Asa's  impulse  was  to  get  to  the  top  of  the 
steps,  for  a  wild  woman  has  a  thousand 
more  terrors  in  any  man's  mind  than  a  man 
under  similar  conditions.  He  had  no 
sooner  reached  the  top  of  the  steps,  which 
were  in  fact  but  four  steps  high,  than  a 
plainly  dressed  woman  who  had  evidently 
seen  better  days,  not  so  very  remote,  either, 
entered  the  presence  of  the  Consul,  appar 
ently  in  great  distress  of  mind.  She  threw 


"  She  threw  herself  at  his  feet." 


THE    MAN   FROM    MAINE     203 

herself  at  his  feet,  and  with  a  wild,  scared 
look  cried  beseechingly,— 

"  Protection !  protection !  " 

"  You  shall  have  it,  though  I  hev  leanin's 
for  free  trade,"  was  the  Consul's  pleasing 
assurance. 

:<  What  from,  my  good  girl? "  inquired 
Jim. 

"  It  don't  make  a  darn's  odds  what  frum; 
she  asks  pertection,  and  she's  goin'  to  git  it." 

"  Bless  you !  You  are  a  noble  representa 
tive  of  a  great  and  good  government,"  the 
young  woman  exclaimed  with  renewed 
fervour. 

Asa  bowed  low. 

"  I  am.  Why  in  thunder  don't  you  shout, 
Jim?  It  ain't  dignified  for  me  to." 

"  Hear !  hear !  "  put  in  Jim. 

"  That's  one  of  the  things  I've  ben  waitin' 
for  somebody  ter  say.  You  hev  ter  look  to 
women  for  appreciation.  Go  on,  my  gal," 
to  her. 

"  Don't  let  him  take  me,"  she  pleaded. 

"  You  air  safe  under  the  wings  of  the 


204      THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

American  eagle-;  but  what  appears  to  be  the 
diffikelty? " 

This  was  the  sort  of  thing  that  brought 
Asa  out  strong. 

"  He  is  going  to  America,  and  is  going  to 
drag  me  after  him." 

"  Drag  ye!  drag  ye!  He  shan't  do  it." 

"  Oh,  thank  you,  thank  you." 

'  Ye  needn't  thank  me,  miss.  It  ain't 
much  punishment  to  be  sent  to  America,  but 
to  be  dragged  there, — no  sir-ee !  " 

At  this  juncture  the  sound  of  Rocky  Bill's 
voice  was  again  heard,  that  being  the  name 
of  the  miner  who  so  recently  required  the 
Consul's  signature. 

"  I'll  settle  him  durned  quick,"  were  his 
very  reassuring  words. 

As  he  came  into  view  from  behind  a  clump 
of  foliage,  an  unexpected  thing  happened, 
unexpected  to  Asa,  Jim,  and  Madge,  for 
that  was  the  suppliant's  name,  as  well  as  to 
Rocky  Bill. 

As  the  latter  strode  threateningly  forward 
and  was  about  to  lay  violent  hands  on  the 


woman,  the  form  of  O'Hara  emerged  from 
the  other  side  of  the  brush,  unseen  by  the 
miner,  and  presenting  a  revolver  at  his  head, 
said  quietly, — 

"  Hands  up,  me  frind." 

Rocky  Bill  was  taken  completely  by  sur 
prise,  and  hesitatingly  complied. 

"  Pardon  me  abruptness,  me  frind,  but 
there  wasn't  time  to  ax  your  pardon  first. 
Mr.  Bailey,  sor,  will  ye  kindly  favour  the 
gintleman  by  relieving  him  of  some  of  his 
dangerous  weapons?  Thank  you.  Don't 
forget  the  knife  in  his  belt,  and  the  maga 
zine." 

Jim  had  rapidly  followed  O'Hara's  in 
structions,  removing  two  revolvers,  a  large 
dirk,  and  a  cartridge  belt. 

"Got  the  drop  on  me,  didn't  you?" 
growled  Bill. 

"  Mere  formality,  me  b'y.  Sure,  some 
body  has  to  be  first,  an',  be  me  sowl,  this 
time  it  was  your  frind  O'Hara." 

As  he  said  this  he  strolled  to  one  side, 
taking  a  seat  in  a  rocking-chair,  still  keeping 


206      THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

his  gun  in  hand,  and  while  apparently  in 
different,  yet  still  having  a  watchful  eye  on 
the  proceedings. 

"  What's  the  matter? "  inquired  Asa. 
"  Was  the  signature  a  forgery?  " 

"I  want  the  woman;  she's  mine,"  was 
Bill's  fierce  reply. 

Madge  clutched  wildly  at  Asa,  clinging 
tightly  to  his  trousers. 

"  Hold  on, — I  mean,  let  go ;  this  place 
wa'n't  built  for  two.  Now,  Mr.  Miner,  le's 
hear  the  evidence.  Is  she  yer  wife  or 
darter? " 

"  No." 

'  Yer  mother,  yer  aunt,  or  yer  cousin?  " 

"  No." 

'  Then  yer  claim  ain't  wuth  a  Continental 
darn,"  was  Asa's  decision. 

'  You're  an  American,  she's  an  English 
woman,  and  mine,"  was  Rocky  Bill's  deter 
mined  reply. 

The  fuse  had  been  lighted,  and  quickly 
reached  Asa's  magazine  of  explosives. 

"  A  female  woman  is  without  a  nation, 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE     207 

and  all  countries  are  her  pertectors.  When 
cusses  like  you  bully  a  woman,  any  man, 
whuther  he  stands  beneath  the  Stars  and 
Stripes,  the  Union  Jack,  or  the  Russian 
Bear,  will  die  in  her  defence.  That's  all 
the  woman's  rights  I  want  in  mine,"  and  as 
he  concluded,  he  stepped  down  to  the 
ground,  facing  the  burly  miner  calmly. 

"  Look  here,  you  Yankee,"  replied  Bill, 
"  I'll  call  on  the  British  government,  and 
they'll  send  a  warship  here  that'll  blow  you 
off  the  earth." 

"  Let  'em.  Uncle  Sam  can  send  a  cruiser 
here,  quicker,  and  bigger,  with  more  fight  in 
her  to  the  square  inch  than  any  gol-durned 
Guv'ment  on  earth.  I  don't  know  nothin' 
'bout  international  law,  an*  I  ain't  up  in 
Cushing's  parli'mentary  rules,  but  I  dew 
know  what's  human,  an*  /  pertect  the 

gal" 

"  Well,  I  say  she's  got  to  go  with  me,"  said 
Bill,  very  threateningly,  as  Madge  crouched 
at  Asa's  feet. 

Jim  took  a  step  nearer,  as  O'Hara  also 


208     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

rose  from  his  chair,  watching  the  outcome 
more  closely. 

"  An'  I  say,  she  shan't ! "  from  Asa  with 
great  force  and  determination.  His  face 
was  now  as  hard  as  that  of  the  bronze  figure 
in  front  of  the  Capitol  building  in  Boston, 
and  showed  as  little  fear. 

As  he  delivered  his  ultimatum,  he  brought 
his  clenched  fist  down  so  firmly  upon  the 
frail  table  before  him,  that  it  collapsed  and 
fell  fiat  upon  the  ground  at  the  Consul's 
feet. 

Asa  contemplated  the  wreck  for  an  in 
stant,  then  turning  his  eyes,  they  rested  upon 
the  weeping  woman  before  him.  As  he  spoke 
again,  his  tone  had  changed  to  one  of  ex 
treme  gentleness,  that  showed  the  sympathy 
and  depth  of  true  manly  qualities  he  pos 
sessed  in  such  abundance. 

;'  The  fall  of  that  table  is  like  this  poor 
gal — it  fell,  not  because  of  ch'ice,  but  be 
cause  it  was  weak,  and  too  much  pressure 
was  brung  to  bear.  It  kin  be  set  up  ag'in, 
an'  not  be  left  there  to  be  kicked  about  for- 


THE    MAX   FROM   MAINE     209 

ever.  So  kin  this  gal,  ef  the  gol-durned 
human  society  will  reach  out  and  encourage 
her  to  stand  on  her  legs  ag'in." 

"  Spoken  like  a  true  gintleman,"  burst 
forth  O'Hara.  "Sure,  I'm  thinkin'  ye 
must  have  Irish  blood  in  ye." 

"  Well,  keep  the  gal.  I  s'pose  I'm  well 
rid  of  her,"  said  Rocky  Bill  sullenly. 

"  Der  the  grapes  hang  high,  or  der  ye 
think  ye've  squeeged  the  orange  dry,  an' 
flung  the  peel  away?  Human  bein's  is  like 
a  sponge,  an'  absorb  the  good  or  the  bad 
they're  thrown  into,  but  the  sponge  kin  be 
cleaned  an'  become  pure  an'  sweet,  clean 
through,  an'  so  kin  the  human  sponge,  ef  ye 
give  it  a  chance.  Now  what  hev  ye  got  to 
say  for  yerself  ?  " 

Asa  had  certainly  found  his  forte,  for  no 
orator,  no  matter  what  his  degree  of  educa 
tion  or  mental  attainments,  could  have  been 
more  effective  in  impressing  his  hearers,  and 
in  arriving  at  results. 

The  strong  qualities  of  some  men  require 
great  occasions  to  bring  them  to  the  surface, 


210     THE    MAN    FROM   MAINE 

and  crude  as  were  Asa's,  they  were  there, 
and  answered  to  the  call. 

In  response  to  Asa's  question,  Rocky  Bill 
replied, — 

"  Nothin'.  I  give  her  a  home,  and  clothes, 
and  'miff  to  eat,  and  she  deserted  me." 

With  great  tenderness,  Asa  turned  to 
Madge. 

"  And  you,  my  gal,"  said  he,  "  what  hev 
you  got  to  say?  " 

Madge  looked  up  with  tears  in  her  eyes, 
as  she  replied  meekly, — 

'  The  same  old  story;  but  I  have  worked 
for  him,  and  cared  for  him  when  sick,  only 
to  be  beaten  and  abused  in  return.  I'll  die 
before  I  return." 

"  So  ye  shell,  an'  thet's  a  long  way  off." 
Then  assuming  the  attitude  of  counsel  for 
the  defense,  he  turned  toward  the  steps,  as  if 
addressing  the  Court, — 

"  Now,  your  Honor," — then  to  Jim  and 
O'Hara,—  "  and  gentlemen  of  the  jury,  I 
maintain  that  the  plaintiff  here  has  failed 
utterly  to  make  out  his  case,  an'  the  defend- 


THE   MAN    FROM   MAINE     211 

ant  should  be  found  not  guilty.  What  say 
you,  gentlemen  of  the  jury,  is  your  verdict 
for  the  paintifF  or  for  the  defendant?  " 

"The  defendant!"  shouted  Jim. 

[t  The  defindant,"  was  also  O'Hara's  ver 
dict. 

'  With  damages,"  Jim  added. 

'  Yis,"  said  O'Hara,  "  damage  him  com- 
plately." 

''  What  shall  the  damages  be?  " 

"  Oh, — blow  him  over  into  Asia,"  was 
Jim's  reply. 

"  Yis,  blow  him  to  the  divil,"  added 
O'Hara,  as  he  stepped  forward  to  assist 
Madge  to  rise. 

"  Not  if  I  know  it,"  said  Rocky  Bill,  and 
with  a  sudden  dash  he  was  dodging  among 
the  trees  and  away. 

Jim  and  O'Hara  would  have  fired  on  him, 
had  not  Asa  held  up  a  hand  restraining 
them. 

"  Let  him  go,  boys;  p'raps  he'll  jump  off 
the  same  cliff  t'other  feller  did.  Now,  Jim, 
is  the  treasury  open?  " 


'  Yes." 

"  Perduce  it." 

Jim  "  perduced  "  the  bag  Rocky  Bill  had 
thrown  upon  the  table  for  Asa,  as  Madge, 
overwhelmed  with  gratitude,  exclaimed, — 

"  Heaven  will  bless  you  for  your  noble 
defense." 

"  I'm  blessed  a'ready.  Here,"  said  he,  as 
he  took  the  bag  of  diamonds  from  Jim  and 
offered  it  to  Madge.  '  Ye  helped  to  earn 
it,  an'  it's  yours,  an'  may  God  bless  ye." 

'This  generosity,  so  ample  and  unexpected, 
was  too  much  for  the  hitherto  unhappy 
young  woman,  who,  with  eyes  filled  with 
tears,  threw  herself  upon  Asa,  as  her  arms 
clasped  about  his  neck,  and  her  face  was 
buried  upon  his  shoulder. 

Asa  patted  the  poor  girl  in  a  tender, 
fatherly  way,  and  was  about  to  cheer  her 
with  some  consoling  remark,  when  he  was 
awakened  from  his  dream  by, — 

"Another  widder!  Oh,  you  Don  Jose- 
phus!  "  which  plainly  emanated  from  Maria. 

A  glance  over  his  shoulder  revealed  to 


THE    MAN    FROM   MAINE    213 

him  his  worthy  spouse,  in  a  cook  apron, 
sleeves  rolled  up,  and  a  big  wooden  spoon  in 
one  hand,  both  being  held  aloft  in  surprise. 
May  was  there  as  wrell,  but  in  quiet  aston 
ishment,  while  Dan,  who  had  also  entered 
unperceived,  lay;  down,  rolled,  and  kicked 
upon  the  lawn. 


CHAPTER    FIFTEEN 

v"*  •  "•"^T  is  a  far  cry  from  Boolahacken- 
tula  to  Dixfield,  and  a  span  of 
^.B  ^  two  years  is  considerable  to  look 
forward  to,  but  very  brief  to  look  back 
upon. 

Asa,  wholly  unfitted  technically  for  the 
position  he  had  been  called  upon  to  fill,  had 
brought  a  solid  basis  of  honest  principles 
and  equity  to  bear  upon  subjects  that  arose 
during  the  term  of  his  appointment,  and 
although  he  "  slopped  over  "  at  times,  and 
had  very  erroneous  ideas  of  the  functions 
of  a  Consul,  his  good  sound  common  sense 
soon  made  him  better  conversant  with  his 
duties  and  the  limitations  of  his  office. 

Travel,  and  contact  with  other  parts  of  the 
world  than  that  in  which  our  own  nest  is 
built,  immensely  broadens  a  man,  and  at  the 
time  Asa  sent  in  his  resignation,  after  being 
abroad  nearly  two  years,  while  still  the  same 

214, 


•THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE     215 

in  principle,  his  ideas  had  been  enlarged  to 
understand  the  broad  principle  that  "  we  " 
are  not  "  the  only,"  and  that  habits  and  cus 
toms  common  to  us  are  not  practicable  or 
even  possible  in  other  lands  and  in  other 
climes ;  and  that  their  methods  of  living  and 
doing  are  the  logical  and  natural  results  of 
climatic  conditions  and  environment. 

In  Mexico,  for  instance,  we  find  the  native 
woman  taking  the  soiled  clothing  to  the  bank 
of  a  stream,  washing  it,  and  rubbing  it  clean 
upon  flat  stones,  removing  her  own  scanty 
clothing  and  cleansing  it  in  the  same  man 
ner,  throwing  it  upon  a  bush  to  dry  in  the 
sun,  meanwhile,  herself,  taking  a  bath,  until 
her  covering  is  again  ready  to  don.  Nor  is 
this  sought  to  be  done  in  solitude,  yet  this 
finds  no  remonstrance  or  even  thought  of 
impropriety  in  the  mind  of  the  people  of 
her  own  land;  it  is  only  the  "  higher  educa 
tion  "  that  sees  harm  in  this  cleanly  custom 
that  we  are  told  is  next  to  godliness. 

Like  Aladdin  of  the  Arabian  tales,  we  rub 
the  lamp  of  our  imagination,  and,  presto,  we 


216     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

are  back  in  the  old  Pine  Tree  State,  in  rug 
ged  Oxford  Count}?-,  and  find  ourselves  on 
Asa  King's  lawn  by  the  waters  of  the  Andro- 
scoggin,  almost  beneath  the  shadows  of  the 
Sugar  Loaves,  that  have  stood  guard  over 
the  valleys  of  Webb's  River  and  the  Andro- 
scoggin  since  the  creation  of  the  world. 

Dixfield  is  in  a  state  of  great  mental  ac 
tivity,  for  to-day  Asa  King  and  family  are 
expected  to  return  to  their  own  again. 

It  is  August,  and  the  day  is  hot,  hence  the 
reception  committee,  consisting  of  the 
squire  and  the  doctor,  have  seated  themselves 
upon  the  lawn  beneath  the  shade  of  the  over 
hanging  elms.  The  old  squire  is  slowly  fan 
ning  himself  with  a  large  palmleaf  fan,  his 
straw  hat  lying  upon  the  ground  at  his  side, 
while  Dr.  Locke  is  occupied,  as  is  his  habit, 
in  tracing  outlines  and  diagrams  of  nothing 
in  particular,  upon  the  ground  with  his  stick. 

"  Hot  day,  squire,"  remarked  the  doctor. 

"  Hotter'n  tophet,  by  jing." 

"  Seems  to  me,  squire,  I  never  saw  a  hot 
ter  day  here,"  added  the  doctor. 


.THE   MAN   FROM   MAINE     217 

"  Well,  I  have,"  replied  the  squire.  "  It 
was  jest  about  forty  year  ago  now,  we  was 
raisin'  Jotham  York's  barn,  and  we  had  a 
jug  of  cider  under  a  bush,  corked  tight. 
Well,  it  was  so  hot,  it  boiled  the  cider,  and 
the  steam  blew  the  cork  up  through  the 
brush,  and  the  friction  was  so  great,  it 
set  fire  to  the  dry  alders.  You  ask  old 
Deacon  Kidder  if  it  didn't.  He  was 
there." 

"  Did  the  deacon  drink  any  of  the  cider, 
squire?  " 

'  Ye  see,  the  cider  spouted  up  into  the  air, 
and  as  it  came  down,  the  deacon,  who  had  a 
powerful  big  mouth,  jest  opened  it  and 
caught  the  stream  and  saved  it.  If  it  hadn't 
ben  for  the  deacon,  it  would  all  a  ben  lost," 
explained  the  squire. 

*  Yes,  I've  always  heard  that  the  deacon 
was  a  self-sacrificing  man,  and  a  public  bene 
factor.  My,  but  it's  hot!  This  ought  to 
produce  a  good  crop  of  sunstrokes,"  said  the 
doctor,  with  an  eye  to  business. 

"  Good  for  your  wallet,  doctor.     I  s'pose 


218     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

ef  it's  as  hot  as  this  here,  it  must  be  blisterin' 
down  in  South  Africa." 

"  No,  it  ain't,  squire;  it's  just  opposite  to 
what  it  is  here." 

"  How  d'ye  make  that  out?  Ain't  it 
thousands  of  miles  furder  south?  "  was  the 
squire's  inquiry. 

"  Yes,  it's  so  fur  south,  it's  north  again," 
the  doctor  explained. 

This  roused  the  squire's  mettle. 

'  Who  d'ye  think  ye're  talkin'  tew,  a  par 
cel  o'  boys?  I  tell  ye,  south  is  south,  an'  west 
is  west." 

"  No  it  ain't  either ;  south  ain't  south  any 
more  after  ye  git  past  the  pole." 

'  Wall,  by  gosh,  they  ain't  nobody  got 
past  it  yit,  nor  even  tew  it." 

'  They  can  go  round  it,  can't  they,  even  if 
they  can't  find  it? "  the  doctor  continued  to 
argue. 

"  How  do  they  know  it's  any  good,  any 
way,  when  they  do? " 

'  There's  some  sense  in  that,  anyhow.  So 
Asa's  to  be  home  to-day?  " 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE     219 

'  Yes ;  Jane  Higgins  told  me  so  yist'day, 
and  I  read  a  hull  lot  about  it  in  the  Lewiston 
Journal  last  night.  I  cal'late  Asa's  got 
pretty  rich  down  in  them  diggin's.  'Ston- 
ishin'  how  them  Guv'ment  'fishals  dew  git 
rich." 

"  So  'tis,"  assented  the  doctor,  "  but  Asa's 
honest." 

'  Yes,  Asa's  honest ;  lib'ril,  too.  I  was 
readin'  in  the  Journal  about  a  statoot  he 
bought  in  London  on  the  way  home,"  the 
Squire  said  as  he  pulled  a  paper  from 
his  pocket.  "  It's  got  a  name  I  never 
heern  on." 

The  squire  adjusted  his  spectacles  and 
held  the  paper  off  nearly  at  arm's  length,  at 
an  angle  of  about  forty-five  degrees.  "  How 
would  you  pronounce  P-s-y-c-h-e;  I  call  it 
Fish,  but  John  Jackson  says  it's  Sike." 

"  You're  both  wrong.  It's  Fizz-ke,"  ex 
plained  the  doctor. 

"  Yes,  of  course,  I  know  that's  the  French 
pronunciation,  but  we  shorten  'em  up.  I 
don't  know  what  he's  goin'  to  do  with  the 


220     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

statoot,  anyway.  P'raps  he's  goin'  to  tack 
it  onto  the  revised  statoots  by'm  by." 

'  Very  likely,  squire,"  laughed  the  doctor. 

Just  then  Gertrude  Doolittle  appeared, 
coming  up  the  walk. 

"  Most  time  for  them  to  be  here,  Uncle 
John,"  said  she,  as  she  seated  herself  in  the 
swing  that  hung  suspended  from  a  large 
limb  of  the  biggest  elm. 

Gertrude  had  grown  even  prettier,  and 
had  developed  into  a  fine  dashing  young 
woman,  at  the  present  time,  of  the  "  summer 
girl "  variety. 

'  They'll  be  here  pretty  soon,  ef  they're  a 
comin'  to-day,"  replied  her  uncle. 

"  I  suppose  May  King  will  be  covered  with 
diamonds  and  ostrich  feathers,  and  all  those 
savage  things,"  Gertrude  remarked. 

"  Don't  you  wish  you  were?  "  queried  Dr. 
Locke. 

"  To  a  reasonable  extent." 

"  Has  any  woman  discovered  what  a  rea 
sonable  extent  is? "  inquired  her  inter 
rogator. 


THE   MAN   FROM   MAINE     221 

'  There,  I  gave  you  a  chance,  didn't  I  ? 
You  think  there  are  no  sensible  women." 

"  I  didn't  say  so." 

"  No,  but  you  thought  it.  I  know  you 
doctors,"  said  Gertrude,  with  a  wise  look 
and  a  toss  of  her  head. 

'  So  I  lick  you  for  dat/  as  the  Dutchman 
said,"  added  the  doctor. 

Jane  Higgins,  who  had  acted  as  house 
keeper  for  the  Kings  during  their  absence, 
now  joined  the  little  group,  coming  from  the 
house. 

"  Sakes  alive!"  she  exclaimed,  "I'm  so 
nervous,  seem  'sif  I  sh'd  fly,"  which  admis 
sion  on  her  part  caused  the  squire  to  assure 
her  that — 

"  Ye  wouldn't  git  fur,  'fore  ye'd  git  shot 
for  one  er  them  long  legged  crane  fellers." 

"  I  wouldn't  say  nothin',  squire,  ef  I  was 
as  broad  as  I  was  long." 

"  '  Where  Mary  got  the  axe/  "  hummed 
Gertrude,  as  she  touched  her  neck  with  the 
edge  of  her  palm. 

The  squire  and  the  doctor  had  now  arisen, 


222     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

when  the  squire  calmed  Jane  by  assuring  her 
that  he  was  "  just  funnin',  ye  know,"  when, 
as  the  doctor  wras  looking  toward  the  town, 
he  added,  "  Kin  ye  see  anything  of  'em  yit?  " 

"  There's  two  teams  coming, — yes,  and 
somebody  waving  a  flag.  Guess  it's  Dan." 

Jane,  who  ran  back  to  the  piazza,  now  ex 
claimed  excitedly, — 

"  Yes,  it  is  Dan,  an'  there's  May  wavin' 
a  handkercher.  They're  comin',  they're 
comin'." 

"  I'm  blest  if  there  ain't  the  band  in  one 
of  them  wagons,"  added  the  doctor.  "  Yes, 
now  they're  all  getting  out  at  the  end  of  the 
lane.  The  band  is  going  to  play, — they're 
coming  back  in  style.  It  pays  to  be  a  gov 
ernment  official." 

"  That's  what  I  ben  tellin'  ye,  by  Sancho," 
said  the  squire.  "  Band  don't  play  nothin' 
for  me,  arter  I've  ben  up  to  Bosting." 

Just  then  the  strains  of  "  When  Johnny 
Comes  Marching  Home  Again  "  were  heard 
by  the  waiting  quartette  of  friends,  which 
elicited  a  few  remarks  from  Jane  Higgins. 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE     223 

"  Look  at  them  ejuts  bio  win'  their  lungs 
out,  and  Asa  with  his  hand  in  his  bosom,  a- 
bowin'  an'  a-scrapin'  like  all  possessed," 
and  Jane  gave  a  slightly  exaggerated  imi 
tation  of  the  proceeding. 

"  Mari's  got  a  new  f  angled  bunnit,  I  vum, 
an'  Dan,  he's  growed  out  er  sight." 

"  Taller  'n  a  bean  pole  afore,"  added  the 
squire. 

The  music  now  stopped,  as  Asa's  well- 
known  voice  was  heard  in  an  address  to  his 
fellow  townsmen,  who  had  gathered  to 
do  him  honour  on  his  return  to  his  native 
town. 

"  Feller  Citizens,"  said  the  ex-blacksmith- 
Consul,  "  I  did  not  expec'  to  receive  such  a 
valedictory  on  my  return  to  my  native  town, 
even  arter  fightin'  the  battles  of  my  country 
single-handed  in  a  furaway  furrin'  land. 
Great  as  has  ben  the  honours  as  has  ben 
heaped  upon  me,  I  am  still  true  to  the  sile  of 
Maine." 

This  bit  of  flattery  brought  forth  loud 
applause  from  all  within  hearing,  not  only 


224      THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

those  in  his  immediate  vicinity,  but  from 
the  squire,  the  doctor,  and  the  ladies  as 
well. 

"  I  return  to  you,  feller  citizens,"  he  con 
tinued,  "  richer  in  experience,  broader  in 
idees,  heavier  in  wallet,  but  still  ready  to 
shoe  a  hoss,  or  to  weld  a  tire ;  an'  ef  the  wid- 
der  Green's  mare  is  as  barefoot  as  she  gin- 
erally  was,  I'll  shoe  her  for  nothin'." 

Shouts,  hurrahs  and  loud  laughter  fol 
lowed  this  generous  announcement  of  Asa's, 
and  a  weak,  thin,  high  voice  was  heard  to 
remark, — "  Hain't  got  a  nail  on  her,  Asa," 
which  was  followed  by  more  laughter  from 
all." 

;<  Trot  her  round,  widder,"  Asa  went  on, 
"  an'  I'll  fix  her  up  bunkum.  Now,  thank 
ye,  boys,  I  must  go  in  and  git  on  a  clean  shirt, 
an'  see  ye  down  to  the  shop  to-morrer." 

Those  who  had  accompanied  him  to  his 
gate  now  expressed  their  welcome  by  addi 
tional  shouting,  while  the  band  struck  up 
"  Home  Again,"  and  marched  away. 

Gertrude,  who  had  been  an  enthusiastic 


THE   MAN   FROM    MAINE     225 

spectator  of  the  proceedings  at  the  gate, 
announced,— 

"  Here  they  come,  now.  There's  a  nigger 
and  a  strange  woman.  I  suppose  that's  the 
maid,  or  the  young  widder.  I  wonder  if 
that  other  fellow  is  the  varlet,  turned  up 
again?  " 

In  an  instant  more  there  was  hearty  and 
indiscriminate  handshaking;  hugs  and  kisses 
among  the  women,  and  a  general  assortment 
of  greetings  among  all  those  who  had  met 
before. 

Asa  was  smarter  dressed  than  formerly, 
but  over  all  was  the  familiar  linen  duster. 
Maria  was  attired  rather  gaudily,  with  an 
inartistic  attempt  at  being  fashionable ;  May 
nattily  dressed  in  a  becoming  travelling 
gown,  while  Dan  was  quite  a  sport  in  a  new 
suit  acquired  during  their  stay  in  London, 
on  the  return. 

Accompanying  them  were  Madge,  quietly 
and  becomingly  gowned,  as  became  her  dis 
position;  Boorabo,  the  Zulu  king,  in  a  mili 
tary  uniform,  and  Patrick  O'Hara,  looking 


226     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

very  jaunty  and  gentlemanly  in  a  fashion 
able  English  walking  suit. 

Asa  had  grasped  the  hand  of  his 
old  friend  the  squire,  then  that  of  the 
doctor. 

"  Squire,  how  be  ye?  Doctor,  I'm  right 
'tarnal  glad  to  see  ye  once  ag'in." 

"  And  I  to  see  you.  You're  looking 
well,"  replied  the  doctor. 

"I'm  as  spry  as  a  young  colt,  ain't  I, 
Maria?" 

Maria,  who  was  talking  among  the 
women  at  a  mile  a  minute  pace,  turned  and 
replied, — 

"  Guess  so, — yes, — I  dunno.  What  was 
it? "  returning  to  her  interrupted  exchange 
of  greetings  with  Jane  and  Gertrude. 

"  Boys,"  said  Asa  to  his  old  comrades,  "  I 
want  to  interduce  two  of  my  friends.  This 
is  General  Boorabo,  a  fine  fellow  and  a  great 
soldier.  Squire  Doolittle, — Dr.  Locke.  Gen 
tlemen,  this  is  Sir  Patrick  O'Hara,  an  Irish 
gentleman  we  met  in  South  Africa." 

Boorabo  nodded  but  said  nothing.     Pat- 


This  is  General  Boorabo,  a  fine  fellow 
and  a  great  soldier." 


THE    MAN    FROM   MAINE     227 

rick,  however,  bowed  politely,  taking  the 
hand  of  each. 

"  Gintlemen,"  said  he,  "  this  is  a  proud  day 
in  me  history.  Ye've  a  fine  country,  almost 
as  fine  as  me  own;  but  I'm  not  jealous,  for 
has  it  not  been  selicted  by  thousands  of  me 
own  people  as  the  only  place  on  earth  nixt  in 
their  hearts  to  their  own  dear  ould  sod? " 

"  Thank  ye,  Mr.  O'Hara,"  said  the  doctor, 
"  that's  very  kind  of  you  indeed." 

"  Now  gals,"  said  Jane,  "  hustle  right  into 
the  house  an'  git  the  dust  off 'n  ye.  Ye  must 
be  dog  tired." 

"  Well,  I  snummy,  Jane,  ye're  'bout 
right,"  was  Mrs.  King's  reply,  as  they 
started  to  follow  her  advice. 

"  Madge,  gal,"  directed  Asa  gently,  "  go 
'long  o'  Maria." 

A  general  stampede  now  took  place,  as 
Mrs.  King,  Jane,  Gertrude,  May,  Madge 
and  Jim  retired  to  the  interior  of  the 
dwelling. 

"  Set  down,  boys,"  directed  Asa  to  the 
squire  and  doctor,  "  an'  we'll  have  a  few 


228     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

minutes'  talk.  Dan,  you  show  the  General 
where  to  put  them  things,  an'  take  Sir  Pat 
rick  in  an'  show  him  'round." 

Dan,  Boorabo  and  O'Hara  now  picked 
up  the  numerous  bags  and  parcels,  and  fol 
lowed  the  ladies — whose  voices,  principally 
Mrs.  King's  and  Jane's,  might  be  heard  like 
the  buz  around  a  bee-hive — into  the 
house,  leaving  the  three  old  cronies  alone 
together. 

Asa  now  placed  an  armchair  between  the 
two,  and  settled  himself  into  it  with  a  com 
fortable  grunt. 

"  By  thunder,  boys,"  he  began,  "  there's 
no  place  like  home,  arter  all." 

"  That's  right,  Asa,"  affirmed  the  squire. 
"  Arter  I've  ben  up  to  Bosting 

This  remark  of  his  old  friend  aroused  a 
look  of  mild,  but  good-natured,  contempt  on 
Asa's  countenance,  as  he  interrupted, — 

"  Bosting !  That  ain't  fur  enough  ter 
git  away  f  um  the  smell  uv  yer  own  cow  barn, 
squire." 

The  squire  was  not  going  to  be  sat  on  com- 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAIXE     229 

pletely  in  that  fashion,  nor  have  his  extended 
travel  belittled,  even  by  such  a  globe  trotter 
as  Asa. 

"  I  tell  ye  now,"  said  he  with  a  show  of 
spirit,  "  when  ye're  on  one  o'  them  big  Port 
land  steamboats,  the  salt  air  will " 

Asa's  genial  contempt  was  now  supreme, 
but  without  bitterness,  for  such  a  thing  was 
not  a  part  of  his  composition. 

:<  Portland  steamboats !  "  he  exclaimed ; 
"  jumpin'  Jehosaphat,  squire,  them  ain't 
ferry  boats,  compared  to  a  liner.  Why, 
John  Doolittle,  them  ocean  greyhounds  is  as 
long  as  Wid  Brackett's  cornfield,  an'  Bill 
Mitchell's  'tater  patch  ter  boot.  I  tell  ye, 
doctor,  they're  jest  like  a  pickerel,  slicker  'n 
grease,  an'  compacter, — well,  nothin'  ain't 
no  compacter  'n  them  things  air." 

The  squire  was  squelched  but  not  silenced. 

"  Der  they  let  ye  stop  along  and  fish  now 
an'  then? "  he  inquired. 

c  Thunderation,  squire,  them  boats  scoot 
like  greased  lightnin',  five  hunderd  miles  a 
day,  'thout  stoppin'." 


230     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

"  Jerusha  Ann !  "  exclaimed  his  listener. 
;<  What  kind  uv  a  b'iler  der  they  hev?  " 

"  I  didn't  go  down  suller  to  see,  but  Dan 
heerd  a  fireman  say  it  was  tubercular." 

"  I  suppose  they  fed  you  well,  didn't 
they?  "  inquired  the  doctor. 

"  Bein'  as  how  I  wus  a  Guv'ment  official, 
they  give  me  a  good  seat  right  in  sight  of  the 
Captin',  an'  he  took  great  interest  in  us. 
He'd  allus  notice  when  we  needed  a  second 
helpin'.  Guess  we  was  purty  durned  green, 
too,  regular  hayseeds ;  'cos  Dan  said  he  heerd 
the  Cap'n  say  once,  *  Steward,  them  jays 
want  fillin'  up  ag'in,'  an'  I  guess  that's  about 
what  we  was  then." 

"  Is  there  any  chance  for  a  good  doctor 
out  there?  "  the  doctor  inquired. 

"  Lots  of  chance,  but  not  much  variety  of 
practice.  'Bout  the  only  kind  of  operations 
is  pullin'  out  bullets  with  sugar  tongs,  an' 
buryin'  folks  with  their  boots  on." 

"  Sho!  "  ejaculated  the  old  squire.  "  Lots 
of  good-lookin'  gals,  Asa?  Good  likely  one 
ye  brung  home  with  ye." 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE     231 

"  Ain't  no  gals  'tall,  scurcely.  Mary  bed 
'bout  two  offers  of  marriage  a  day  fur  a 
while,  then  the  market  fell  off  a  bit,  when 
they  found  Mary  wa'n't  buyin'  princes  this 
trip." 

"  How  'bout  this  'ere  Hottentot  ye 
got?" 

"  I'll  tell  ye  'bout  him.  That  feller's  a 
Zulu  king.  Fact,  by  Jupiter !  " 

"  No!  "  from  the  squire  and  the  doctor  in 
chorus. 

"  Fact,  boys.  I  c'udn't  bring  a  hull  cargo 
of  monarchs  along,  so  I  bought  out  the 
throne  business  of  this  one,  an'  told  him  he'd 
make  more  money  here  in  a  month  than  the 
hull  caboodle  made  in  a  lifetime  over  there, 
kinging  it  over  a  lot  of  niggers.  Jim  teached 
him  to  play  the  banjo  an'  sing  a  nigger  song 
jest  as  good  as  any  of  us." 

'  Who's  t'other  feller?  "  the  doctor  wanted 
to  know. 

'  We  found  him  down  there,  too,  kind  of 
tutoring  and  private  secertary  to  the  king. 
We  called  him  Pat  for  short,  kinder  familiar 


232     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

like,  but  by  the  living  jingo,  'fore  we  left 
London,  we  found  he  was  a  truly  baronight, 
an'  he  never  mentioned  it,"  Asa  explained. 

"  What's  a  baronight,  Asa?  "  inquired  the 
squire;  "some  kind  of  a  moonshiner?" 

"  Gosh,  no,  squire.  Ye  hev  to  say  Sir  to 
him,  like  ye  would  ef  ye  was  talkin'  to  old 
Gin'ral  Farwell.  It's  a  title  of  nobility." 

"  Tarnation,  Asa!  "  exclaimed  the  doctor, 
"  you  did  get  hold  of  some  good  samples. 
Then  I  suppose  the  woman  is  an  empress, 
or  a  boorampootra,  or  something  like 
that?" 

"  No,  not  by  a  darned  sight.  She's  jest 
a  plain,  good,  sound,  splendid  woman,  an' 
that's  better,"  and  as  he  said  this,  he  picked 
up  his  hat,  and  rose  from  the  chair.  "  Come 
now,  boys,  he  added,  "  le's  go  inter  the  house, 
ef  there's  room  to  git  in  fer  women." 

Both  the  others  followed  his  example,  the 
squire  intimating  that  he  "  ought  to  be  mog- 
gin'  'long  towards  home  " ;  but  Asa  would 
not  listen  to  any  such  proceeding. 

"  Come  along  in.     Come  along,  doctor," 


THE    MAN    FROM   MAINE     233 

he  said  as  he  grasped  each  by  an  arm. 
"  Don't  talk  'bout  goin'  home  yit.  The  boys 
'11  milk  for  ye.  Come  along,  come  along," 
and  the  two  friends  allowed  themselves  to  be 
led  into  the  house  by  Asa,  with  very  little 
evidence  of  reluctance. 


CHAPTER   SIXTEEN 


can  be  very  little  doubt  of 
*ne  esteem  in  which  the  Kings 
were  held  by  their  townspeople, 
for  they  had  no  sooner  reached  their  home 
than  neighbours  began  pouring  in  upon 
them  in  droves,  and  expressions  of  hearty 
welcome  were  constantly  heard. 

O'Hara  was  introduced  with  every  ap 
pearance  of  delight,  by  Asa,  but  Madge  and 
Boorabo  kept  very  quietly  in  the  back 
ground. 

"  Well,  O'Hara,"  inquired  Jim,  "  what  do 
you  think  of  this  bit  of  New  England?  Isn't 
it  fine?  " 

"  Sure,  it  is  that.  If  the  roofs  were  prop 
erly  thatched,  and  a  pig  or  two  were  let 
loose,  it  would  be  a  toss-up  bechune  it  and 
Ireland  itself." 

"  Patrick,  you're  past  hope.     If  you  can 

23* 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE     235 

find  any  spot  on  earth  finer  than  New  Eng 
land  in  summer  time,  you're  a  wonder." 

"  Ah,  me  b'y,  but  ye  niver  set  eyes  on  Sligo 
Bay,  or  the  Lakes  of  Killarney.  Ye  niver 
gazed  on  our  green  hills  crowned  with  their 
picturesque  ruins.  Ye  niver  listened  to  the 
music  of  the  bells  of  ould  Limerick,  or 
floated  on  the  waters  of  the  Shannon  River. 

'  There  is  not  in  the  wide  world  a  valley  so  sweet 
As  that  vale  in  whose  bosom  the  bright  waters  meet.' 

Do  ye  listen  to  the  words  of  the  sweet  poet 
of  Ireland,  where  have  ye  such  another?  " 
and  O'Hara  waxed  eloquent  over  his  pana- 
gyric  to  his  native  land. 

'  True,"  said  Jim,  "  we  have  no  Sligo  Bay, 
or  Lakes  of  Killarney,  but  we  have  fifty 
beautiful  bays  on  the  coast  of  Maine,  and  as 
for  lakes,  a  few  miles  north  of  here  the 
Rangeley  Lakes,  and  their  neighbouring 
gem,  Parmachenee,  set  in  with  lofty  moun 
tains,  can  hold  their  own  against  the  world. 
Our  hills  are  not  crowned  with  ruins,  it  is 
true,  but  beautiful  villages  and  delightful 


236     THE    MAN   FROM   MAINE 

homes  and  hostelries  are  to  be  seen  from  Kit- 
tery  to  Caribou.  We  have  no  Shannon 
River,  and  no  poet  Moore,  but  the  whole 
civilised  world  sings  the  praises  of  Long 
fellow,  and  our  rivers  are  legion.  My  friend, 
you  will  learn  to  love  America,  as  millions  of 
your  countrymen  have  already." 

"  Your  hand,  Mr.  Bailey.  I'm  sure 
of  it." 

While  this  little  incident  was  transpiring 
between  Jim  and  O'Hara  in  the  house,  Boo- 
rabo  had  wandered  out  upon  the  lawn,  and 
squatted  upon  the  grass,  with  an  old  clay 
pipe  in  his  hand. 

"  Sure,  I  struck  a  dhudeen  inside,  'fore 
I'd  ben  there  a  minute,"  he  mused,  as  he 
struck  a  match  and  lighted  it.  "  An'  this  is 
Ameriky,  is  it?  Bedad,  I  used  to  howl  that 
I'd  lick  the  whole  lot  of  'em,  but,  faith,  it's 
mighty  lucky  for  me  I  niver  begun  the  job. 
There  was  a  man  in  that  New  York  town 
said  he'd  give  me  a  hundred  dollars  a  month 
for  to  show  me  as  a  freak.  Phat  the  divil's 
a  freak,  I  wonder?  Pat  niver  told  me  I  was 


THE    MAN    FROM   MAINE     237 

a  freak.  The  women  here  is  not  to  turn  up 
their  noses  at  our'n;  sure,  don't  they  paint 
their  faces,  an'  wear  goold  an'  di'munds,  an' 
put  lots  o'  feathers  on  their  heads,  an'  kink 
their  hair,  the  same  as  our  girls  do?  Phat 
the  divil's  the  raisin,  thin,  we  ain't  as  big  as 
they  be?  It  must  be  the  readin'  and  the 
writin'.  I'll  take  me  di'munds  an'  buy  some 
readin'  an'  some  writin',  sure,  the  first  thing 
I  do." 

As  he  concluded,  he  took  a  handful  of 
diamonds  from  his  pocket,  and  while  puff 
ing  vigorously  at  his  pipe,  began  counting 
them. 

While  thus  occupied,  Dr.  Locke  and 
Squire  Doolittle  emerged  from  the  house, 
the  doctor  remarking, — 

"  Asa'll  be  a  greater  authority  than  ever, 
now,  on  the  functions  of  the  government. 
Hullo,  here's  that  Zulu  king,  looking  very 
much  like  our  native-born  article.  Hello, 
Sambo,"  he  called,  as  he  came  down  on  one 
side  of  Boorabo,  and  the  squire  on  the  other, 
"  do  you  speak  English?  " 


238     THE   MAN   FROM   MAINE 

Boorabo  looked  up  at  his  questioner,  re 
turning  the  diamonds  to  his  pocket,  making 
no  reply. 

The  squire,  though,  seating  himself,  put 
the  question  in  another  way, — 

"  My  coloured  friend,  what  might  be  the 
court  lingo  in  your  deestrict? " 

Boorabo  jumped  nimbly  to  his  feet,  his 
eyes  flashing,  as  he  replied, — 

"  English,  yer  blatherskite,  an'  the  nixt 
time  yez  address  a  king,  don't  yez  presume 
to  call  him  Sambo,  or  be  the  piper  that  played 
before  Moses,  I'll  spit  yez  on  me  spear!  " 

Both  his  listeners  were  very  much  sur 
prised  at  the  dialect  and  accent  of  the  coal- 
black  individual  before  them,  the  squire  ex 
hibiting  considerable  alarm. 

"  Don't  get  excited,  my  friend;  we  meant 
no  harm,"  said  the  doctor,  "  and  we  don't  kill 
people  here  for  nothing." 

"  Don't  yez.    Phat's  your  trade? " 

"  I'm  a  doctor." 

"  Sure,  thin,  yez  don't,  for  yez  get  well 
paid  for  it." 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE     239 

This  reply  of  Boorabo's  caused  an  almost 
convulsive  fit  of  laughter  on  the  part  of  the 
squire,  who  said,— 

"  He  had  you  there,  doctor." 

The  doctor,  somewhat  confused,  sought 
to  change  the  conversation  by  another 
inquiry. 

"  Do  you  use  a  shillelah?  " 

"  Phat  the  divil  do  yez  take  me  for, — an 
Irishman,  bedad, — that  I'd  use  a  shtick?  Do 
I  look  like  an  Irishman?  " 

"  No,  but  you  talk  like  one,"  replied  the 
doctor. 

"  I  talk  loik  wan!  I  talk  loik  wan,  is  it? 
Bedad,  was  yez  iver  in  London?  " 

"  No." 

'  Thin  yez  is  a  nice  party  to  criticise  the 
finest  accent  that  iver  Patrick  O'Hara  of 
London  could  tache.  Sure,  didn't  he  come 
from  the  County  of  Cork  in  the  very  cinter 
of  London,  as  I  know  mesilf .  Me  an  Irish 
man,  indade,"  and  Boorabo  turned  away 
with  the  utmost  disgust  depicted  in  his  coun 
tenance. 


240     THE    MAN   FROM    MAINE 

Just  then  Asa  appeared  in  the  doorway, 
and  called, — 

"  Come  back  here,  boys,  I  got  suthin'  to 
show  ye.  Gineral,  don't  ye  want  to  git  yer 
banjo,  an'  give  us  a  song  'fore  long?  Come 
along,  boys,"  once  more  disappearing  into 
the  house,  accompanied  by  his  two  friends. 

Boorabo  was  still  muling  over  his  wrongs, 
and  as  he  gazed  after  them,  muttered,— 

"  Irishman,  is  it?  Sure,  they'll  be  afther 
takin'  me  for  a  nagur  nixt,  becos  I  looks  like 
wan,"  as  with  a  growl  he  wandered  down 
the  lane  toward  the  road. 

Dan  had  not  been  idle  while  the  numerous 
visitors  were  congratulating  the  family,  but 
made  all  speed  to  attach  himself  to  the  im 
mediate  vicinity  of  Gertrude  Doolittle,  the 
"  Peacherine,"  as  he  called  her. 

Dan  had  brushed  up  considerably  during 
his  two  years'  absence,  under  the  care  of  Jim 
Bailey,  who  took  great  interest  in  the  boy,  so 
Dan  was  not  the  same  gawky  boy  he  was 
when  he  left  Dixfield.  He  and  Gertrude 
therefore  had  moved  away  from  the  crowrd 


in  the  house,  unnoticed,  and  came  out  under- 
the  trees,  as  Gertrude  was  saying, — 

"  And  the  varlet,  rushed  the  growler  and 
disappeared? " 

"  Never   showed  up   again.     Say,   Gert, 
what  ye  ben  doin'  sence  I  saw  ye  at  Uncle 
Hiram's?" 
. "  Graduated,"  said  she  curtly. 

"  Honours?  "  inquired  Dan. 

!<  Honours  were  easy,  I  guess.  In  some 
things,  though,  I  was  out  of  sight." 

"  Now  I  s'pose  yer  goin'  to  git  married?  " 

"  Catch  me." 

"  If  you'll  fall  my  way,"  was  Dan's  reply. 

"  Good  boy;  you're  getting  on,  but  don't 
be  too  fly.  I'll  tell  you  what  I'm  up  to, — I'm 
going  on  the  stage." 

"Whereto?" 

'  To  success,  Danny,  my  boy.  You  see, 
years  ago  we  stood  no  chance ;  but  society  has 
changed,  and  now  we  are  right  in  it.  I  tell 
you,  Danny,  the  stage  is  vastly  improved." 

'  Wouldn't  you  engage  yourself  now,  if 
you  had  a  real  good  chance?  "  Dan  inquired, 


242      THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

endeavouring  to  arrive  at  a  conclusion  by  an 
indirect  attack. 

"  Cert,  that's  what  I'm  after;  but  I  won't 
play  seconds  to  anybody,  see?  " 

"  Not  exactly;  but  how  would  an  engage 
ment  with  me  do? " 

"  Oh,  I  don't  want  a  joint  engagement. 
I'm  not  out  for  a  variety  turn  in  a  '  Contin 
uous/  — I  want  an  engagement  alone." 

Dan  was  certainly  very  much  confused 
by  all  this,  none  of  his  experience  having  ever 
brought  him  in  contact  with  theatrical  exhi 
bitions,  its  people  or  terms. 

"  How  ye  goin'  to  have  an  engagement 
alone?  "  he  asked. 

"  Oh,  that's  the  regular  thing,"  replied 
Gertrude. 

"  I  see, — you're  engaged,  and  he  ain't, 
like  most  of  the  marriages,  'cordin'  to  the 
papers, — the  woman's  married,  but  the  man 
ain't." 

"Danny!"  exclaimed  Gertrude,  with  a 
very  superficial  air  of  reproof. 

"  Pretty   much   everything   is    one-sided 


THE   MAN    FROM   MAINE     243 

now'days,  so  I  didn't  know  but  there  was 
something  new  in  engagements,"  he  ex 
plained. 

"  Don't  monkey  with  the  buzz,"  Gertrude 
continued. 

:'  Well,  plump  now,  Gert,  engage  your 
self  to  me,  an'  if  it's  the  latest  thing  goin',  I 
won't  ask  to  be  engaged  to  you." 

Dan  had  now  thrown  down  the  gauntlet, 
and  awaited  an  answer  that  would  at  least 
be  comprehensible  to  him.  It  was  not,  how 
ever. 

"  Well,  you  take  the  Vienna,  the  Purcells, 
and  the  entire  cereal  output.  What  would  I 
do  with  you?  You  can't  act,  and  you  can't 
manage." 

Dan,  however,  like  the  despairing  miner, 
struck  his  pick  into  the  earth  for  the 
last  time,  and  accidentally  turned  up  a 
nugget. 

"  But  I've  got  the  rocks." 

This  was  certainly  understandable,  and 
struck  a  vital  part,  mentally,  Gertrude  re 
marking,— 


244     THE    MAN   FROM   MAINE 

"Whew!  the  most  essential  thing  of  the 
lot!"  but  audibly. 

"  Well,  my  boy,  I'll  turn  it  over,  and  in  the 
meantime, — well — you  may  hope,  Danny, — 
you  may  hope.  Come  on,  let's  go  down  to 
the  Post  Office,"  and  it  is  to  be  inferred  that 
a  protocol  was  signed,  and  friendly  relations 
resumed  from  that  moment,  for  on  frequent 
occasions  thereafter  those  two  heads  were 
seen  in  the  position  of  the  torpedo  and  the 
whale,  but  the  explosions,  if  any,  were  inef 
fective  and  harmless. 

Having  followed  the  fortunes  of  Asa  and 
his  family,  suppose  we  just  for  a  few  mo 
ments  take  up  those  of  Madge,  that  gentle, 
sweet  woman  of  misfortune,  who  had  be 
come  attached  to  the  King  family  by  tender 
ties  that  all  respected. 

It  had  become  known  that  as  a  girl  of  six 
teen  she  had  been  taken  to  South  Africa  by 
her  father  and  mother,  Bill  Ainsworth,  a 
close  friend  of  her  father's  accompanying 
them.  She  had  been  there  ten  years,  during 
which  time  much  had  happened.  Madge's 


THE    MAX   FROM    MAINE     245 

father  had  died  after  five  years'  residence 
there,  and  after  three  years  more  her  mother 
had  followed  him,  after  which  time 
"Rocky"  Bill  had,  by  fraud  and  deceit, 
inveigled  her  into  a  mock  marriage,  the 
falsity  of  which  she  had  but  recently  dis 
covered,  when  she  appeared  before  Asa  at 
B  oolahackentula. 

Madge  was  of  a  gentle  and  affectionate 
nature,  while  Rocky  Bill  had  been  cruel  and 
abusive  to  her  in  spite  of  her  willing  aid  and 
obedience. 

She  felt  that  now  her  troubles  were  nearly 
if  not  quite  over,  and  was  most  grateful  in 
consequence.  As  she  wandered  out  of  the 
house  not  long  after  arriving,  and  found  the 
lawn  deserted,  she  sank  into  a  chair  with  a 
restful  sigh,  and  a  faint  smile  of  delight. 

"  A  haven  of  rest  at  last,"  she  murmured; 
"  a  peaceful,  happy  prospect,  a  noble  hearted 
man  to  forget  and  forgive.  The  sun  is  set 
ting  in  the  heavens,  but  is  rising  upon  a  new 
world  to  me.  I  feel  its  warmth  already.  It 
will  bring  back  the  old  light  to  my  eyes,  for 


246      THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

I  have  everything  to  look  forward  to,  every 
thing  to  enjoy." 

Tears  of  thankfulness  filled  her  eyes  as 
this  pleasant  reflection  overcame  her,  and  the 
return  of  Asa,  accompanied  by  O'Hara,  was 
unnoticed  by  her  until  Asa's  voice  addressing 
his  Irish  friend  was  heard. 

'  Ye  ain't  gittin  bashful,  be  ye,  Patrick?  " 

"  Divil  a  bit ;  it's  an  unknown  quantity  in 
me  family.  But  I  have  something  on  me 
mind  I'd  like  to  have  off,  so  I'd  like  to  talk 
to  ye  a  minute.  Sure,  here  she  is  now,  all  the 
better." 

"  Hello,  Madge,  gal,"  exclaimed  Asa, 
"  come  out  to  see  the  sun  set  over  by  them 
mountains?  We  git  some  durn  good  sun 
sets  here,  I  can  tell  ye.  Make  ye  think  of 
yer  Creator,  I  reckin." 

"  Yes,  Mr.  King,  that  is  just  what  it  does 
suggest." 

"  Look  at  that,  now,"  continued  the  old 
blacksmith,  "  hain't  no  painter  fever  I 
knowed  on,  cud  slap  on  the  colours  like  that, 
though  I  dew  call  to  mind  a  feller  that 


,THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE     247 

painted  his  house  here  once  in  glowin'er 
colours  than  I  quite  ever  seed  in  naturV 

Asa  now  seated  himself  with  Madge  by 
his  side,  while  O'Hara  stood  twirling  a  light 
stick,  as  he  hummed  an  Irish  melody. 

"  I  suppose  he  thought  he  would  improve 
on  nature,"  suggested  Madge. 

"  Can't  be  did,  woman, — it  can't  be  did. 
Well,  Sir  Patrick,  what  ye  brung  me  out 
here  for?  "  said  Asa  suddenly,  looking  up  at 
his  companion. 

"  I've  been  spaking  to  Margaret,"  he 
replied. 

"  Margaret?  "  Asa  repeated  inquiringly. 
"No  trouble,  I  hope?" 

'  Throuble,  is  it?  Look  at  the  joy  in  me 
face,  and  ask  if  it's  throuble. 

'  Throuble,  what's  throuble  ? 
Sure  throuble  is  dead, 
Whin  throuble  is  double 
It  rolls  off  me  head. 
Och  throuble's  a  bubble, 
Jist  prick  it  it's  burst; 
And  gone  is  your  throuble, 
Like  ghosts  that  are  curst.' 


248     THE    MAN   FROM    MAINE 

"  That's  me  opinion  of  throuble.  Sure,  I 
niver  let  it  come  bechune  me  four  walls.  But 
it's  not  throuble  that's  botherin'  me  this  min 
ute,  but  joy. 

'  We  wander  for  years  on  say  and  on  land, 

No  heart  spakes  to  my  heart,  no  hand  holds  me  hand. 

All  at  once  of  a  suddint,  to  me  vision  appears, 

The  heart  and  the  hand,  me  own's  longed  for  for 

years. 

I'm  spachless,  I'm  draining,  until  I  diskiver, 
Her  heart  will  be  my  heart  f  oriver  and  iver.' " 

Asa  had  followed  attentively  the  words  of 
Sir  Patrick,  who  had  thus  delivered  himself 
of  the  eloquence  of  the  poet,  in  the  rollick 
ing  manner  so  characteristic  of  him.  After 
looking  at  him  a  moment,  however,  he  struck 
the  palm  of  his  hand  down  upon  the  arm  of 
his  chair,  and  exclaimed  with  an  air  of  firm 
conviction,— 

"  Patrick  O'Hara,  you're  smitf  But  'tain't 
no  harm,  Patrick,  it's  good  for  ye.  It 
kinder  lifts  a  feller  up;  it  makes  him  walk 
straighter  and  lift  his  feet  quicker.  He  can 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE     249 

walk  furder,  an'  saw  more  wood  than  he 
could  afore, — that  is,  ef  the  gal  ain't  in  sight 
when  he's  a-sawin'.  I  cud  shoe  a  hoss 
quicker  arter  I  got  engaged  to  Maria,  'cos  I 
wanted  to  make  a  sort  of  a  reckid,  so's  she'd 
think  I's  some  punkins.  But  who's  the  gal, 
Patrick?" 

'  There,  sor,  by  your  side,"  he  replied 
proudly. 

Madge  rose  at  this  and  knelt  at  Asa's  feet. 

"Madge?" 

"  Yes,  uncle,"  she  replied,  "  it's  me,  only 
me.  Isn't  he  noble?  " 

"Noble?  Him?  Bosh!  Not  a  bit  of 
it, — no  more  nobler  'n  you  be,  only  he's  ben 
luckier.  Ain't  ye  got  a  good  sound  healthy 
heart  in  yer  buzzum,  gal?  Hain't  ye  seen 
trials,  hardships,  temptations,  misery  and 
want?  Ain't  yer  soul  just  as  big  with  ten 
derness,  an'  mercy,  an'  charity,  an'  all  them 
things,  as  hisn?  " 

"  Right,  sor!  "  chimed  in  Patrick. 

"Then  who's  to  say  he's  more  nobler 'n  you 
be,  becos  he  follers  the  dictates  of  his  con- 


250     THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE 

science  and  marries  the  gal  who  loves 
him?" 

This  was  a  situation  that  certainly  brought 
Asa  out  in  all  his  honest  eloquence. 

"  But  he  forgets  the  past,"  Madge  urged. 

"  Past!  Yer  hain't  got  no  past,  gal.  Wipe 
out  all  that  stuff,  and  start  a  clean  new  slate 
that  no  rigger's  ben  made  on.  Look  to  the 
future,  gal,  and  don't  be  lookin'  back.  The 
past  don't  exist, — what  don't  exist,  ain't, — 
what  ain't,  ain't  wuth  considerin'.  Look  at 
that  settin'  sun, — it's  magnificent  glory 
soon  '11  be  hid  by  so  mean  and  insignificant  a 
thing  as  John  Harlow's  hog  barns  on  the  hill, 
but  is  the  greatness  of  that  orb  any  the  less 
fur  that?  I  guess  not.  It'll  come  back  to- 
morrer,  an'  to-morrer,  an'  it  never  had  no 
past." 

'  You  put  new  heart  into  me,"  said  Madge 
happily;  "  I  shall  ever  thank  and  bless 

you." 

From  his  strong,  earnest  speech  of  rough 
eloquence,  Asa  now  spoke  with  that  mellow, 
sweet  tone  of  sympathy  that  was  so  very 


THE    MAN    FROM    MAINE     251 

characteristic  of  him  on  occasions  of  this 
nature. 

"  'Tain't  no  new  heart,  gal,  it's  the  same 
bright,  happy  heart  that's  ben  eclipsed  by  a 
human  hog  barn." 

Had  Hiram  King,  with  his  education  and 
opportunities,  possessed  the  wonderful  vocal 
organs  of  his  brother  Asa,  the  powerful 
tones  and  the  rich  melody  of  his  pathos,  he 
would  have  been  without  doubt  the  greatest 
orator  of  his  time.  As  it  was,  Hiram's 
superb  educational  attainments,  his  nobility 
of  character,  combined  with  a  remarkable 
faculty  for  the  management  of  men  and 
affairs,  had  placed  him  where  he  was. 

Asa,  on  the  other  hand,  had  gone  to  work 
early  in  life  in  his  shop,  and  with  little  educa 
tion,  but  some  splendid  natural  gifts,  was 
fully  on  a  level  with  his  brother  in  those  nat 
ural  qualities  that  are  alone  to  be  considered 
in  judging  men  as  men,  and  discarding  all 
extraneous  adjuncts  such  as  position  and 
wealth. 

;<  With  your  permission,  sor,"  Sir  Patrick 


remarked,  "  we  shall  be  married  soon,  an'  we 
shall  return  to  me  home  in  Ireland.  It  is  not 
me  nature  to  be  boastful  of  me  own,  but  I 
was  the  only  son  of  me  father,  an'  me  estate 
an'  me  means  are  quite  sufficient.  I've  been 
a  rovin'  lad,  but  I'll  niver  roam  again,  niver, 
— alone." 

"  Sorry  to  lose  ye,  both,  but  devilish  glad 
ye've  come  to  understand  one  'nuther,"  said 
Asa,  just  as  Maria  appeared  at  the  door  and 
exclaimed, — 

'  Wall,  I  do  declare,  ef  they  ain't  come  off 
out  here,  an'  left  the  comp'ny.  What  ye 
ben  doin'  on? " 

"  Ain't  done  much  yit"  replied  Asa,  "  but 
I  'spect  there's  goin'  ter  be  a  new  pair  of 
shoes  afore  long." 

Mrs.  King,  without  paying  much  atten 
tion  to  what  her  husband  had  said,  she  was 
so  flurried,  turned  and  spoke  into  the  house. 

"  Say,  folks,  all  come  out  here;  hotter  'n 
tophet  in  there.  Bring  a  cheer  along,  an' 
we'll  have  a  cup  of  tea  under  the  trees." 

Suiting  the  action  to  the  word,  she  brought 


THE    MAN   FROM    MAINE     253 

a  chair  with  her,  the  squire,  doctor,  May  and 
Jim  following  her  example. 

A  general  conversation  was  indulged  in, 
when  presently  May  suggested  that  Booraho 
might  give  them  the  darkey  song  Jim  had 
taught  him. 

The  doctor  immediately  seconded  the 
motion. 

"  Yes,  Asa,"  he  said,  "  let's  have  the  song; 
a  nigger  song  by  a  Zulu  king  with  an  Irish 
brogue  must  be  worth  hearing." 

Jane  Higgins  now  appearing  from  the 
house,  Asa  hailed  her, — 

"  Say,  Jane,  where's  Boorabo? " 

"  Darned  if  I  know,  but  I  guess  I  can  find 
him  for  ye." 

"  All  right,  gal,  find  him." 

"  When  d'ye  want  that  air  tea,  Mari?  " 
Jane  inquired. 

"  Most  any  time." 

"  All  right,"  and  away  she  went,  as  Dan 
and  Gertrude  joined  the  group  upon  the 
lawn. 

"  Here,  you  two,  where  ye  ben?  "  inquired 


254     THE   MAN   FROM    MAINE 

Asa.  "  Don't  ye  1'arn  Dan  any  New  York 
flirtations,  now." 

"Me!"  exclaimed  Gertrude  in  surprise. 
"Teach  him!  Hully  gee!  You  make  me 
snicker.  There  are  no  flies  on  Danny  now" 

"  No,  but  I  kin  see  'skeeters." 

A  few  notes  of  a  banjo  were  now  heard 
from  within  the  house,  as  Asa  resumed  his 
seat  in  the  centre  of  the  group. 

"  Now  here  we  air,  got  my  hull  su " 

Asa  stopped  at  that,  looking  slyly  at  Ger 
trude  and  May.  "  No  ye  didn't — thought 
ye'd  ketched  me,  didn't  ye?  Ye  don't 
'  sweet  papa  '  me  no  more.  I'm  on  ter  you, 
— my  hull  suite  ter  hum." 

Jane  was  now  passing  the  tea  to  the  assem 
blage,  while  Boorabo's  banjo  became  more 
distinctly  audible. 

Asa  with  his  cup  of  tea  looked  the  picture 
of  supreme  content,  as  he  continued, — 

"  Now  this  is  home,  and  this  is  comfort. 
Arter  thinkin'  I  knew  enuff  to  run  the  hull 
Guv'ment  machine,  I  find  I  wa'n't  cut  out 
fur  politics.  I've  hed  enuff;  and  now  as  we 


THE    MAN    FROM   MAINE     255 

set  together  under  my  own  vine  an'  fig  tree, 
with  that  gentle  peace  of  plenty  an'  pros 
perity  around  us,  I'm  content  to  live  here,  an' 
shoe  the  widder  Green's  mare  now  an'  then, 
for  sweet  charity's  sake." 


THE   END 


Hathaway 


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